The unsaid holds an undeniable eroticism. There’s something deeply sexy about the fantasy of giving in to the hidden desires we don’t quite dare name, of finding ways to meet our yearnings without disrupting our identity. That’s one of the biggest turn-ons at the heart of *Did You See Him Crying?* – for this macho trio of miscreants, a desire to submit isn’t seen as acceptable but a swaggering brag to prove how hard you are is something else entirely. And so, one by one, they bare their bottoms and take their beatings and urgently profess that of course they’re not enjoying it at *all*. We the audience aren’t fooled for a moment.
In real life, of course, this kind of denial does us no good whatsoever. When we ignore and suppress our darker desires, they spill out in all the wrong places – and it doesn’t usually end as deliciously as the literal hammering doled out by Lady at the end of our latest film. There’s a sort of sexual triage that must be done: can I fulfil this hidden longing in a way that is safe, consensual and healthy both for myself and for everyone else involved? If so, what can I do to help make that happen? If not, how do I honour and acknowledge it without letting it become buried and repressed?
That tension is why *Did You See Him Crying?* is so much fun. These men can strut and sneer and insist they are only proving their toughness, but we can all see the truth bloom unmistakably across their bare bottoms. In reality, buried desire needs honesty, care and consent. In fantasy, though, sometimes a hard spanking is all the unsaid requires.
