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Hard, Fast and Perfectly Calculated

Pharoah spanks his wife Sha Luciana at Dreams of Spanking

We recently posted a Performer Spotlight featuring Pharaoh and Sha Luciana - the First Couple of the spanking world. We’re delighted to now be releasing their new domestic discipline film The Credit Card, which is also the next installment in our Guest Director series. Here’s a pro tip - you’re going to want to watch it immediately.

First of all, Sha has one of the most perfectly spankable butts I have ever seen. Seriously: I’m exclusively a sub, and even so my immediate thought when she first bent over in front of the camera was hell yes. From the OTK warmup in tight white jeans to the bare-bottom spanking that leaves her writhing and crying out, Sha looks incredible.

Secondly, Pharaoh really knows what he’s doing. In the introductory clip he describes himself as “definitely a hardwired spanko”, and he is not wrong. The punishment he administers is hard, fast and perfectly calculated; I’m pretty sure some of those unrelenting strokes must have hurt his hand almost as much as they hurt Sha’s backside!

Sha Luciana rubs her spanked bottom at Dreams of Spanking

Thirdly - and best of all, from my perspective - everything about this film is completely authentic. Sha’s spending spree was real, and her punishment for it was real too. What this film gives us is a glimpse into their relationship; we get to see how connected they are and how much they trust each other. We get to see that Pharaoh knows just how hard a punishment Sha can take, and we get to see the tears in her eyes when the pain is at its climax. There’s a beautiful, tender moment toward the end, where she’s looking up at him once the punishment is done, and the depth of their relationship is in their eyes.

We’ve been excited about all of our guest director films, and this one is no exception. If you enjoy it as much as I did, you’re in for a treat: we’re soon to be releasing a behind-the-scenes chat between Pharaoh and Sha, featuring a demonstration of a domestic discipline punishment you’re bound to love

Pandora's secret superpower

Pregnant Pandora Blake paddled on the bare bottom at Dreams of Spanking

I don’t know if you guys realised this, but Pandora has a secret superpower: the ability to make hot, taboo spanking porn films that are also...weirdly wholesome?

On the surface of it, there’s nothing wholesome at all about our latest film. Pandora plays a bratty slut who has got herself pregnant - and doesn't even know who the father is! By the end she has an extremely red bottom courtesy of daddy dom Nimue, who has had enough and knows who's going to be left to look after the baby. It’s an edgy spanking roleplay involving implied daddy/daughter age play, serious telling-off, and a heavily pregnant spankee getting a hard bare bottom paddling. Plus there's at least one orgy joke.

Pregnant Pandora Blake spanked by Nimue Allen at Dreams of Spanking

And yet, and yet... when you get to the end, see - well, I won’t spoil it for you, but I came away giggling and genuinely heartwarmed. This film is a hot power play spanking fantasy, it presses all sorts of filthy buttons, and it also somehow rather sweet. I know Pandora was determined to shoot some hard spanking porn while heavily pregnant, and the baby bump in this film is the real deal. If you like a little age play with your spanking (guilty as charged) and breaking all the rules, you'll like this. And really, who doesn’t want queer butch Daddy dom to spank them and take care of them? I know I do.

Once Upon a Time

Adele Haze waits for a spanking at Dreams of SpankingAdele Haze rubs her spanked bottom at Dreams of Spanking

One of my favourite things about working at Dreams of Spanking is how varied the content I get to write for is. One week I’m waxing lyrical on the virtues of pornography made by real life couples who are truly, deeply in love; the next I’m laughing out loud at a queer comedy pastiche of a BBC period drama. And then this lands in my inbox: an aristocratic fairytale about the haughty future Duchess of a magical land. Never a dull moment!

I think my favourite thing about this story is that it looks at submission from an angle we rarely see: the focus here is on Riva’s fortitude. She’s portrayed not as someone receiving a punishment they richly deserve, nor as a person having a dream fulfilled; those are both true and excellent stories about people who love to be spanked, but they’re not the only roles submission has to offer. This is spanking as a challenge that can be overcome, and a woman who finds strength in overcoming it.

Adele Haze scrubs the floor with her bottom on display at Dreams of Spanking

In a way, this echoes some of my own journey with kink and BDSM. This might come as a surprise to some of my former play partners, but I’m not really a masochist in the truest sense; pain itself is rarely my goal for an encounter, and I’m mostly in it for the power dynamics and headspaces. Some of my most memorable scenes involving corporal punishment have been the ones where I’ve finished the session feeling as though I’ve achieved something; I can take pride in knowing that I have these bruises because I weathered the storm. It was difficult, and I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I stuck it out and I came through to the other side. There’s a life lesson in there somewhere.

(It’s a mistake, incidentally, to assume that the amount of pain someone is in is directly proportional to the amount of fuss they’re making. For some of us the reverse is true - yelps and wriggles mean we’re still warming up; silence and stillness mean I’ve centred myself to ride the wave. Tops, remember to check in with and get to know your bottoms: this has been a PSA! But I digress.)

Riva might end her spanking crying at her new mistress’s feet, but she is not portrayed as a weak or broken woman. She was strong enough to conduct an excoriating self-analysis without shying away from her worst qualities, she was strong enough to trek for hours through the forest to reach an unknown destination, and she was strong enough to take an hours-long OTK spanking without even shedding a tear till it was almost over.

I kind of love Riva, honestly. She’s got this. And so, perhaps, do we

A long, hard, er - detention

Pandora Blake shares a school caning fantasy with a JOI twist

For a lot of us, kinks and fetishes of all kinds have their origin stories way back in childhood. It’s pretty common to be aroused throughout our lives by whatever was around during our earliest experiences of our own internal sexuality, or by something that for whatever reason our childhoods rendered taboo (and therefore exciting). One explanation for why so many people find school uniforms arousing makes sense in this context - after all, a lot of the first people we ever fancied were wearing them at the time!

This is probably how spanking got a reputation for being a British vice. In reality it’s probably no more common here than it is anywhere else in the world, but we invented the classic public school system - the overly formal uniforms, the hierarchical culture where pupils were punished as much by other pupils as they were by school staff, the focus on canes and birches and punishment books to correct wrongdoers. It’s not as much a thing of the past as one might imagine, either: corporal punishment wasn’t banned in British state schools till 1986, and it was 1998 before public schools fully abolished the practice. There are people who were spanked or caned in British schools who are now still in their 20s and 30s.

That group no longer contains most of us, of course; I certainly wasn’t caned at my inner city comprehensive in the early 2000s. It’s difficult to apply any of the old-fashioned ideas about British schooling to my experience, really, barring perhaps the uniform - which I found a thousand different ways to personalise and cheat! So what’s my excuse?

I think some of it might come down to a sort of national nostalgia, often rather rose-tinted. I sat in my so-called “rough” state comp, with its creaky 60s prefab buildings and its somewhat humiliating OFSTED reports, reading boarding school stories and coming of age novels set in some distant but unmistakably British past. 

Our latest film, ‘A Visit to the Schoolmaster’, is playing on exactly this kind of nostalgic looking back to a past we were never quite a part of. Pandora has had a thing for public school canings since before she can remember, so she’s thrilled to have a chance to meet a real boarding school master - particularly when he turns out to still have his punishment book and his slender, biting canes. We’re told this tale while she’s dressed in full school uniform, smirking cheekily into the camera, the kind of gleam in her eyes that will get you a long detention. 

But who wouldn’t want a long detention, if they got to share it with her?

Pandora Blake shares a school caning fantasy with a JOI twist at Dreams of Spanking

On the wonders of aural sex

Paddle, flogger and dice at Dreams of Spanking

I’ve always thought there wasn’t enough audio porn in the world.

Partly that’s down to my own particular set of, er, ‘interests’. I once came just from someone talking me into it, no physical touching required, and I’ve always harboured a deep-seated interest in submissive hypnosis - I could write an essay on the wonders of a chatty dominant!

It’s not just that, though: it’s also because audio erotica lets you get lost in your own mind like nothing else does. Much as I prefer radio soaps to their televisual counterparts (because on radio the pictures are better), aural porn is as close as it gets to a two-person solo experience.

In-ear headphones help a lot with this. They sound like the speaker’s voice is right inside my own head, and that feeling has been a powerful element of some of my most memorable sexual experiences. Even when you’re alone, with audio porn there’s no barrier between you and the fantasy at hand; there’s no bright screen to keep an eye on, no variably-formatted text to squint at on your phone. You can invite the story into your mind and let yourself get lost in it.

One of the things that makes porn difficult - both to create as a performer and to find as a consumer - is that everyone wants porn that is exactly their thing. Cis men are usually the assumed viewer, especially if one’s interests run primarily to the femdom end of the spectrum (I can’t really be the only queer female sub who wants to watch femdom stuff, can I?) - and even when that’s not a problem, most of us still want to find porn where the performers are our physical ‘type’ and the setting is one that resonates.

None of that matters with audio erotica. I’m especially fond of scenes like our recent Snake Eyes where the story is essentially a monologue; the submissive is never described, never gendered, never referred to other than as “you”. The encounter could be taking place anywhere - a dungeon, a castle, your own bedroom. Zak, with her calm, commanding voice, could be anyone you wanted to put yourself at the mercy of. This is a story of random factors and precise paddling that comes tailor-made for any subby spanking fan who listens to it.

I get that humans tend to be highly visual creatures, of course, but goddamn - sometimes, I just want someone to whisper into my ear.

Pardon me, but my straight privilege is showing

Author’s Note:
I’m going to do something I try to never do when I write: I’m going to preface this article. I wouldn’t usually, but the material is personal and incomplete and may seem a bit rambling and disconnected. However, I suspect that I’m not alone in the questions and conclusions that I’m mulling over, so please bear with me and hopefully there’s a kernel or two that resonates or contributes to a bigger conversation. 

When I set out to watch Fetish Fvckdolls 2 (which if you haven’t watched it, I’d encourage you to do so at your earliest convenience) I wasn't expecting it to be a big deal. I’ve blogged here before about how watching porn that’s “not your usual taste” or incongruent with your own desires is interesting and can be enlightening. I was pretty sure that a collaboration by queer and trans performers like Fetish Fvckdolls 2 would be just that: interesting, but not my cup of tea. 

Why? Well, I’m a straight-identifying, dominant-leaning cisgender woman who almost exclusively watches gay male chastity porn. Specific? Yup. And really kind of a world away from transfemme submission, which is the overarching  main theme running through the four vignettes in Fetish Fvckdolls 2. You can see then how I might have thought that my interest in the film would be purely academic. Interestingly, it was not.   

River Enza at the mercy of Goddess Kyaa and Dominic Rystan at Dreams of Spanking

Now, I’m not here to say that this film changed me, nor should the incomplete epiphanies on sexuality that I’m sharing here be mistaken for me jumping on a bandwagon. Neither of those are true. What does feel true, is that I’m feeling really aware of my straight privilege after watching this film. 

If you’re a straight person and that term makes you uncomfortable … I feel you. But it should make you uncomfortable. Privilege is a pervasive and dangerous thing when not acknowledged. Honestly, how two-dimensional of me to discount a film like Fetish Fvckdolls 2 as something that couldn’t touch me, something that I wouldn’t be able to identify with! How ridiculous and heteronormative of me to presume that I wouldn’t relate to these scenes. If it was mainstream lesbian porn (you know, the kind performed by cis women for the straight male gaze) would I have been so dismissive? Probably not, because I’m a straight woman who has had sex with other straight women and I’m blisteringly aware of the weight of the male gaze. But I presumed that I wouldn’t relate, or be aroused, by this. 

Confused and intrigued, I discussed my bias with my husband, who has recently (or in his words: finally) self-identified as asexual. He watched part of Fetish Fvckdolls 2 with me and commented immediately that he hadn’t even noticed that the performers were trans until the fourth vignette because he was witnessing them as human beings, rather than sexual fantasies. I was surprised by that, because for me transfemme visibility is the point of the project. He asked what would make a film like Fetish Fvckdolls 2 more “my kind of porno”. I didn’t have an answer because I was processing that actually, this is my kind of porn.  

Confused? Me too. 

Chelsea Poe sucks Pandora Blake's strap-on at Dreams of Spanking

How could I think that gay male chastity porn is more relatable to me than porn that has trans women at the heart of it? Am I secretly kind of a bigot? But I know and love so many queer and trans people! Am I not as straight as I thought? Maybe, but that’s not the primary concern for me. The concern is that even though I think I know so much about sexuality, it turns out I don't know as much as I thought. 

Yes, yes, we like what we like. The heart/loins want what they want. But it’s becoming evident to me now that the shackles of straight privilege (ie: never having to consider your sexuality or have it challenged, because it’s the cultural default setting) are just that: shackles. 

What Fetish Fvckdolls 2 taught me about myself is that heteronormative thinking is limiting because the definitions are so static. “Straight” doesn’t leave much room for variety. Any “exploration” within straight sexuality is expected to be episodic, or at the most, a phase. So when, as a “straight” person, I watched this film, it was a bit dizzying to not see the performers as fantasy objects, and to relate to them on a human level. It revealed to me things I hadn't known before about how objectifying my gaze tends to be.

Fetish Fvckdolls 2 is radical and fresh. It puts trans women at the center of each encounter. Not only are they the subjects of their own experience, they are shown in willing and delighted submission. Not here the degrading porn tropes that cast trans women as exotic freaks with hard cocks, or strip them of autonomy - no, the trans women in Fetish Fvckdolls 2 are very clearly represented as the people they are. Full stop.

Cookie Cosmos submits to Rae Cosmos at Dreams of Spanking

I learned that my erotic appetite, regardless of whom I choose to get frisky with, is essentially about the treatment and experience of the people involved, not the combination of bodies I see on the screen. I began to reflect on what turns me on and what turns me off in adult entertainment: it’s not the bodies at all. It’s the dynamics. I haven’t ignored trans porn in the past because it was trans. I've ignored it because when it’s badly done, it’s so likely to be dehumanising.

Fetish Fvckdolls 2 has been made with such smart and mindful intentions by everyone involved that the sexiness absolutely transcends all notions of genre and the limitations of what I thought I could be into. I  watched the film three times. It’s 90 minutes long. It took me almost 5 hours of watching this film and then more time processing the experience for me to begin to get my head around these personal biases and blindspots. 

What I have learned from Fetish Fvckdolls 2, what I’m so glad to begin to understand about myself, is that I like porn because I watching people fuck. Not just men, not just straight people, not just cishet couples. What I don’t like in porn is mindless and narrowly conceived narratives, and hegemonic control of my gaze. I’m not comfortable knowing that I have been a contributor to that mindlessness, a cog in the wheel of a cultural and artistic system that holds people back, misrepresents them and strips them of humanity, no matter how subtle the effect seems to be. 

Having realised that, I want to do better. I know that I won’t always get it right, but only good can come from growth and empathy. And besides, if nothing else, a whole new world of porn just opened up to me, so if you’ll forgive me, I have some catching up to do … 

When nanny didn't know best

Ah, I love a fun and subversive spanking scenario, and Dreams of Spanking never fails to deliver. This home-grown film was born from some spontaneous improv during what was meant to be a stills photo shoot. Amelia and Pandora have roleplayed together often enough that they can't resist the temptation to slip into character – and off we go.

You can tell how much fun they're having throughout as the storyline emerges organically from the banter. As the eponymous naughty nanny, Amelia Jane Rutherford lets slip that she neglected Pandora Blake’s precious children to flirt with the zookeeper. And Pandora Blake drops little details that suggest a snooty and selfish Mistress more interested in her own leisure than in caring for her little darlings. 

Amelia Jane Rutherford has a bright red spanked bottom at Dreams of Spanking

Listening to the dialogue, we begin to build a picture of a kinky universe where the lady of the house has a fleet of servants, who all get their bottoms smacked if they are in trouble, and innocent young nannies can find themselves in disgrace for making eyes at men. And just wait till Daddy gets home, if you won’t submit to your punishment now…

Amelia Jane Rutherford over Pandora Blake's knee for a spanking at Dreams of Spanking

Unlike some Dreams of Spanking films, this video is wall-to-wall spanking. We begin straight in on the action, and there's plenty to enjoy – especially if you like to see a spanked young lady squealing with outrage and distress. As Pandora Blake's nanny, Amelia Jane puts on a fabulous show of kicking, yelping, thrashing about and attempting to escape, all of which are dealt with firmly. I wasn’t surprised Ms Blake switched to using implements towards the end, as by that point her hand must have been nearly as sore as her victim’s glowing buttocks. (Yes, I am speaking from experience. I've had to go and run my hand under a cold tap for a few minutes after dishing out a particularly full-on hand-spanking!)

Amelia Jane Rutherford gets the wooden ruler on her bare bottom from Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

There’s some sharp slaps with a wooden ruler and, to finish up, several heavier strokes from a doubled-over leather belt. I have considerable admiration for the skilful way in which Pandora wields this. It does make such a lovely noise on impact.

This is a fun spanking film starring two consummate professionals indulging in roleplay for the joy of it. It's an appealing slice of bare-bottomed spanking fun, with plenty to enjoy - whether you imagine being the giver or the recipient.

I am the body beautiful

Watching Tight Trouser Tease got me thinking about bodies; my body, others’ bodies and just how much we are up against in terms of understanding and accepting our bodies. In this film, Pandora talks about the changes to their body during pregnancy and how delightful it has been. It led me to a few questions, the most challenging of which was: If loving our bodies is good for us, as we can hopefully all agree it is, why then do we appear to be in an almost global crisis when it comes to physical self esteem?

Pandora Blake bends over in tight trousers at Dreams of Spanking

There is a lot of talk about bodies in media and culture right now, from censorship to sex work, to reproductive rights, gender autonomy, body image, and let’s not forget the age old debate of Fit v. Fat. Our bodies are constantly under scrutiny. One would think that with the world at large so up in arms about who can do what with their body, and the unreasonable “norms” we are expected to conform to, that we’d be kinder to ourselves in light of all that negativity. Sadly, these wounds run deep for so many, and getting out from under that systemic microscope can be a significant challenge.

Like many, I have personally been on a crusade to heal and improve my self-image of my body. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I have definitely picked up some jewels of wisdom along the way. Everyone’s path is different in this regard, but here are some reminders and strategies that I have found useful in navigating “body positivity”:

Habits are hard to change, but not impossible

Our words and actions are more powerful than we sometimes realize. One way in which this seems almost universally true is self-talk. If every morning while you brush your teeth you stare into the mirror and tell yourself how good, miraculous and worthy your body is, and how proud you are of all it accomplishes, you will inevitably be able to better embrace and accept your body than if you scowl and criticize and bully yourself. 

Pandora Blake shows how their breasts have grown at Dreams of Spanking

But here’s the rub: that’s so much easier to say than do. It takes awareness, commitment and dedication to change those inner monologues. Be gentle with yourself. If you catch yourself being harsh, ask yourself if you’d say those same things to a friend or family member? You deserve the same respect you give others. 

Practice gratitude

My body does an awful lot for me, and I bet yours does too. Sure, mine doesn’t rock climb or run very fast, it’s soft where it’s told it should be firm, but it’s mine, and I’m grateful for it. Health, disability, past trauma and how you were raised to feel about your body can all contribute to not feeling very grateful for the body you have.

An interesting and eye opening exercise is to literally take stock of your body and find all the reasons that it’s so great. Start at your feet and work your way up, finding positive things to say about as many parts of yourself as you can without solely acknowledging how things look. I don’t love the aesthetics of my legs, for example, but telling myself that they are too short and thick to be sexy won’t help me feel good about myself. Noting that they are strong and they take me places and allow me to do the things I love to do, makes me an ally of my legs. Suddenly we are on the same team - and I have bestowed value on them that is not just about how they look.  

Pandora Blake shows off their spanked bottom at Dreams of Spanking

Bodies are ever-changing … and that’s a good thing! 

If you stopped reading this article and looked at your body right now, you would find that much like all other bodies, regardless of size, fitness, wellness, etc, your body is constantly in flux. Our bodies are not static. They are ever changing, and forever giving us new and important information. It is easy to slip into thinking that the iteration of our body that we used to have when we were younger, or the body we could have if only we stopped eating dessert, are superior to the bodies we have right now. But if you wish that you could love your body more, you have to start loving it now. That sounds reductive and oversimplified, but it’s true. 
How? Meet yourself, and your body, where you are.

If you want to make changes, do. Or not! But I can tell you this: it’s easier to change your body if you already love it before you ask it to change. 

Take your body where it is appreciated

Working on your own body acceptance and celebration is a worthy effort, and something that can be very inspiring to those around you. But if you are met with hostility or resistance from others, or you’re simply tired of being caught up in someone else’s thoughts and feelings and projections about their own body, you owe it to yourself to manage your exposure to those sources of negativity. In short, don’t let anyone derail your efforts or convince you that you are any less worthy than you believe you are. If someone in your life is unable to be respectful and keep their negative comments to themselves, take your body where it is appreciated. 

Being able-bodied, fit, thin, beautiful, etc. is not your cost of admission to a fulfilling life. You don’t owe anyone anything in terms of how your body looks or works. The more you believe that the less they can impact you with their own miserable agenda.  

For most of us, it is a long and circuitous road to body acceptance and body love - but every journey begins with a single step, and only you can know what it is that you need to navigate in a world gone mad with impossible beauty standards and endless sources of shame. I’ll leave you with a quote from the groundbreaking 90’s African American girl group Salt-N-Pepa’s hit, I Am the Body Beautiful, that I have always found inspiring:
 
“There ain't enough words to express how I feel 
I'm body beautiful, true, that's for real 
Am who I am and that's all I can be 
Open up your mind so your eyes can see”

Pandora Blake themselves with a hairbrush over tight trousers at Dreams of Spanking

Fun, friendship and candid spankings

So much of the delight of porn is the fantasy, isn’t it? We seek storylines and situations that turn us on and tickle our imaginations, allowing us to transport ourselves into the scene and vicariously experience the unknown. As someone who has had a long-standing interest in spanking and being spanked, I realized while watching Pandora’s Birthday Caning, featuring Pandora Blake and Sarah Gregory, that of course spankings can be lighthearted and loosely structured, all while remaining intense and enthusiastically consensual. It’s sometimes easy to forget that spanking, both giving and receiving, can absolutely be a joyful, exuberant act - it needn’t be limited to discipline, humiliation, punishment, or the other more traditional tropes of the genre. 

Pandora Blake spanks Sarah Gregory at Dreams of Spanking

This spanking film shows how fun and friendship can be excellent catalysts to very exciting spanking and caning porn. If you want to watch quality porn films (and clearly you do if you’re here), palpable chemistry between porn performers should be a basic requirement, in my opinion. Even if the scene is less sexually charged, chemistry doesn’t fall to the wayside.

Pandora’s Birthday Caning is a refreshing film in that sense. There is no obvious seduction, no pantomime of desire. The genuine comfort and authenticity between Pandora and Sarah  proves that two people having a warm and sincere conversation alongside OTK spanking can be immensely gratifying to watch. Pandora and Sarah are clearly very comfortable with one another, and that comfort provides a soft and stable grounding to this unscripted, behind the scenes porn film. In lieu of theatrical roles, we get to see sparkling smiles, shy eye contact, sincere compliments and genuine excitement about the thrills of discovering, honing and thoroughly enjoying spanking both professionally and privately. 

Pandora Blake strips for Sarah Gregory at Dreams of Spanking

I absolutely appreciate how genuine this lesbian spanking film is. It’s a conversation between friends and colleagues that creates space for casual erotic experiences to unfold. For me, being able to be a “fly on that wall” is not only intimate and fascinating, it removes the ‘fourth wall’ and makes the whole scene more approachable and accessible than more scripted and dramatic productions. While ‘amateur porn’ has a similar authenticity, a grittiness and realness, and also often lowers that fourth wall, there’s something lovely about watching a personal, candid scene unfolding between two consummate professionals like Pandora and Sarah, shot and edited to professional quality. 

Pandora Blake's bottom with cane stripes on Dreams of Spanking

I love and appreciate when films can help give you a new perspective on things. In this case, Pandora’s Birthday Caning has given me a new way of looking at spanking that I can now take away with me, continue to mull, and incorporate into my own experiences and fantasies - which makes this film the gift that keeps on giving. 

5 tips for a successful self-spanking

The adage, ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’ came to mind for me while watching He Wouldn’t Spank Me because I absolutely relate to the plight of needing a sound spanking and not having someone to give it to me. Pandora’s monologue that opens the video plays out as a tell-all of a dud of a weekend with an underwhelming spanko. Where he has failed, Pandora ultimately triumphs by administering an impressive self-spanking, complete with hairbrush and wooden ruler to round out the variety of sensations, sounds and marks. 

Pandora Blake needs a spanking at Dreams of Spanking

I myself have self-spanked on many occasions when feeling dire and desirous of that certain sort of sting, when nothing else will do, when simply touching and thinking are not enough. I personally enjoy it and find it very different than being spanked by a partner. It’s a bit of a mind fuck to strike yourself in pleasure, more so even than being struck by someone else. I suppose it’s the dual sensation of one’s bottom warming and burning with each strike, in combination with one’s hand getting more and more fatigued. 

Pandora Blake needs a spanking at Dreams of Spanking

Here are 5 things to consider if you want to try a successful self-spanking: 

Plan ahead
Nothing is less sexy than getting interrupted or having to stop playing because you don’t have the right toys or tools at hand. If you’re experimenting with self-spanking, plan ahead so that you have the privacy (if desired) and comfort, as well as implements, that you want and need.

Seduce yourself
If you’re new to self-spanking, consider it like any other private pleasure activity: it will be better if you’re good and ready for it. Do whatever you need to get in the mood, whether that’s watching hot spanking porn like He Wouldn’t Spank Me, or any of your other favourite Dreams of Spanking pieces, a sensual bubble bath, or getting turned on with your favourite toy(s).  

Pandora Blake strokes their spanked bottom and thighs Dreams of Spanking

Take it slow
A good spanking requires some warm up, so start with small swats and taps on top of underpants or light pajamas, playing with the speed, intensity and frequency. It’s not a race, and you needn’t have a goal in mind, simply try different things and pay attention to how everything feels. Once your skin is warm to the touch, try again on bare skin. 

Variety is the spice of spanking
There are so many options with spanking: under or over clothes, barehanded or with implements, hard and punishing or soft and sensual. Barehanded, with a ruler or hairbrush, like Pandora used in He Wouldn’t Spank Me or a light shoe or slipper are great household items to try. Self-spanking is a great way to explore what excites you about spanking but stick to the meaty spots like thighs and buttocks. Avoid bony places like ribs and joints, your lower back and kidneys and your spine. Self-spanking is not for everyone, so if you try it and it’s not quite right for you, that’s okay too! 

Pandora Blake fucks themselves with a hairbrush after a sexy self-spanking at Dreams of Spanking

After Care is Self Care 
Impact play, even if it wasn’t too physically taxing, should be followed up by after care, and if you’re self-spanking that means taking time to cool down and rest a bit when you’re finished. Cool compresses and lotion can be very soothing to spanked bottoms and a cup of tea or other warm drink can help you relax and unwind. 

Although entirely different, without the ritualised connection of someone else spanking you, self-spanking can be a wonderful way to experiment with your limits in spanking, both giving and receiving. Much like masturbation can help us learn about our body’s pleasure at our own pace, self-spanking can be a great way to safely learn what about spanking you like or need. As with any pain or physical play, start small and work your way up to a pleasurable level of intensity, respecting your limits and playing within them.    

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