How do I describe Vix Vixxxen? She's like the embodiment of all the cool I have ever wanted to be.
She is the riot grrl shouting on the front lines of a protest. In her latest photoset, dressed in stiletto heels and fishnet tights, wielding a knife ready to rip off her clothes, Vix is almost every girl I've ever had a crush on.
Vix Vixxen is the argument you have with your mum when she tells you that you can't get your nose pierced. She is my teenage angst and my adult lust all rolled into one.
When you look at porn – whether it's a romantic spanking video, a hard thrashing, or a personality-packed punk striptease photoset like this one – it's often hard not to project yourself onto the stars. When I watch someone getting spanked there's a part of my brain that's imagining it's me.
But when I look at Vix Vixxxen I feel more aspirational. I can't put myself in her position, because I am too busy being in awe of her cool. As she poses for the camera, smoking a cigarette, I remember times when I've tried to pull off the same look and not got it quite right.
As she bends over to show her ripped fishnets, I remember times I've done the same by accident – incompetently putting a finger through the net when I'm in the toilet, rather than the deliberate, cheeky rebelliousness of slashing at them with a knife or corkscrew.
Vix Vixxxen is all the cool punks and goths at parties who shared their vodka with me. She's the chorused 'YEAH!' in response to a lead singer shouting 'are you having a good time?!' at a metal gig.
She's the snarl you'd like to give when twats on the street catcall you. She's the middle finger you wish you could flip at your boss. Vix Vixxxen is the moment the bullied kid at school stops cowering from their tormentors and stands up to throw a punch.
But I know, of course, that behind all porn performers there are real people. It's just that sometimes the people – and the fantasies – that they create on camera, are so much more than what you see on the surface.
Vix Vixxxen's shoot is intensely sexy from the first picture - whether she's tearing at her knickers, hanging from the bars in her jail cell, or bending over in her red stillettos. And I could have spent this blog describing in detail just how hot every movement and pose and action is. But the sexiest thing of all about Vix is her don't-give-one-single-fuck attitude.
To paraphrase my Mum, from those teenage arguments so long ago: it's not what she does, it's the way she does it.
You'll see what I mean.