Dreams of Spanking: fairtrade spanking, corporal punishment and discipline fantasies by Pandora Blake. Join us »

 

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Thanks for this feedback, Ernest! Sorry it's taken me a little time to reply: I don't get comment notifications yet, although my developer is working on it :)

The discipline paradox is, exactly, a paradox. I don't know anyone who engages in consensual, functional, non-abusive CP discipline who isn't kinky, and so it's clearly not an option for people who have no interest in kink, power or pain play. But I do know people who aren't spankos, but have other kinky interests, who use CP for discipline rather than play, and more BDSM activities when they want to have fun. Still, there clearly needs to be some positive associations for the whole thing to be successful and non-abusive.

Personally, I like spanking and am quite masochistic for it, but spanking can also be a discipline deterrent. A discipline spanking is usually

- harder than normal
- delivered without a warmup
- with an implement I don't find erotic, or particularly hate
- accompanied by an awareness of disappointment from the top, or an acknowledgement that one can do better. This can range from full-on scolding to a quiet "I'm looking forward to the week when I don't have to do this, and can give you a good girl spanking instead."

In my experience it's the last that makes the difference. We allow someone to share the responsibility of our lives because we respect them and value their opinion. Admitting fault to your top is often the real deterrent; the spanking is just a reminder. If you didn't take the discipline seriously, trivialised the punishment and deliberately got into trouble, your top would notice. Either they'd cancel the arrangement, or they'd take steps to reinforce your commitment to it.

"Tell him to keep it at game level" - in my experience, a discipline arrangement where the spankee gets a say in how hard it is isn't going to work. You can have control over what you get punished for, but the top needs to have the final say on sentencing. If the top is too harsh or not harsh enough, you can argue afterwards and find the right level over time (or a new top!)

Thanks for the lovely comments about the site, I'm glad you're enjoying the variety of scenes and finding out more about Adele! She is a fascinating lady :)

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