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This is not the porn you're looking for

We do get some interesting emails here at Dreams of Spanking from time to time, but I'm happy to say that 99 out of 100 are positive, and many more complimentary (sometimes so complimentary they seemed typed one-handed). That may be why that one percent really stands out. But even among the run of the mill technophobes and grouchy people, this email Pandora received as a reply to our latest newsletter completely floored me, and I don't think it'll be hard to see why.

Well. I'm not exaggerating when I say that both Pandora and I were gobsmacked. Aside from the screeching bigotry and entitlement, the thing that baffled us most was the thought that a former member could have read a Dreams of Spanking newsletter and thought "I know what would improve this experience - less than half the content!" It's not as if we've ever tried to obscure our principles of diversity and equality - in fact it's one of our major selling points.

I don't often get to argue with bigots who aren't just glorified twitter trolls, so when Pandora asked if I'd like to field this one, I didn't miss a beat. This guy? This guy was going down.

I think I was remarkably restrained, under the circumstances. I also thought I was pretty direct and firm that we were not going to capitulate. Oh ho, but I was wrong!

And yet, the entitlement kept coming...

Thankfully, he gave up after that, which is lucky as I'm not sure I could've found another way to say "No". I'm genuinely stunned that it took that many emails for him to stop mansplaining our business to us. Maybe he was bored, maybe he was trolling, but whatever the reason, attitudes like this are why we need feminist porn. That a man could approach a studio (incidentally, a studio openly run by feminist women), and demand that they bin several years worth of alternative content - and then continue to demand it blithely, despite being told repeatedly that he was barking up the wrong tree - is why we're here. This is why we have to keep fighting to raise the standard of porn, and open it up to the full spectrum of sexualities, gender identities, personalities, and body types. This guy and his ilk are why we work so hard, so that one day, anyone can be open and engaging about their kinks, no matter who they are.

As Girl on the Net has said before, not all porn is for you. We have no problem with people who prefer certain types of porn, and even people who *gasp* don't like our porn, but we will take issue with anyone who thinks that their specific sexual tastes should dominate, and take priority over other people's. There's a great big world of pornography out there, and nobody is saying you have to like it all. But don't you dare try and tell us that your custom is more important than our ethos, because we will always fight you, and in the end, we'll win.

We've come a long way, baby...

It's been a strange year, that's for damn sure.

When Pandora first asked me to come on board at Dreams of Spanking back in 2013, I really didn't have a clue where it would lead me. I'd been struggling to find the right job for many years; something that both fit my own needs, and played to my skills seemed like an impossible dream. But though it started humbly, it soon went from something to fill a couple of hours a week answering emails, to having actual creative and intellectual control in a business. I could never have known back then how much it would mean to me and how proud I'd be of the work I've done since. I've learned so much, worked with so many incredible people, and it was a wonderful thing to discover that my decade long friendship with Pandora was able to survive the curse of mixing business with pleasure - on the contrary, I feel like our working relationship has actually strengthened our bond and that's a rare treat.


I really felt like I was getting comfortable with the job when the news came down from on high that we were to be regulated past the point of reason, and it hurt. It hurt a lot. We'd worked so hard, how dare they stop us? I remember making comment at the time that I had spent years being harrassed by the government to find work despite being disabled, and then as soon as I found a job I could manage, the government took it away! The whole thing made me so angry, and angrier still that I felt helpless to fix anything. We spent nearly 8 months holding our breath and crossing our fingers waiting for the decision that would take our site down, and for a while after the judgement, I really believed that would be the end of my time at Dreams of Spanking. There was so much we didn't know about how this was going to turn out that it almost felt dangerous to feel hopeful. Once Pandora and Myles had submitted the appeal, there was nothing to do but wait.

And then we won. Just like that, we won, and far sooner than we'd ever imagined. When Pandora first told me, there was a palpable waft of trepidation, confusion, and frustration, but we barely had time to adjust to our feelings when suddenly we were able to actually open the site and talk about it again. I won't pretend that I didn't spend the few weeks between first hearing we might win and the day our billing was reinstated assuming that somehow we'd still end up having it taken away. But once the new subscriptions started rolling in, there was no stopping my delight. I think I smiled that whole day!


In some ways, I've fallen back into the job so easily that it feels like I never stopped, and in other ways, that 10 months we waited to hear about the appeal felt like a decade. But now we're back, and I'm so stoked about the future. In addition to flexing my PA/customer service muscle regularly, my photoshop skills have come on in leaps and bounds since the very first set Pandora ever gave me to edit, "Introducing Alexander Knight", and I've learned to make animated gifs, which I can't wait to make more of. If you've not seen the Dreams of Spanking tumblr, you'll find many of them there, along with a great selection of some of our favourite images from the site. Plus, I've had the chance to work with some outstanding people; determined, devoted and talented in so many ways, cultural and political voices who I'm honoured to have heard first hand, and I'm looking forward to meeting even more of them. I also hope to make my screen debut at some point. Who knows what form that will take, but finding out will be a lot of fun! I never imagined myself working in porn, but now, I can't imagine doing anything else.


I know Pandora has already made her gratitude to our followers known, but I'd like to back that up by saying that I am also immensely grateful for the opportunity to dive back into the world of ethical porn, and I'd like to thank every single person who has supported the Dreams of Spanking team - before, during and after our ban. This community has come to mean so much to me, and I'm so happy to be a part of it again.

Peace out folks, and stay tuned; we've got so much more to show you! :) 

"Always Measure The Van"

I know you haven't heard from me for a while, but it's been a long hot summer already, with all the Dreams of Spanking ladies flitting around like dirty little butterflies; Pandora's been up and down the country sampling the delights of the countryside in between mad bouts of video editing and volunteering; Girl on the Net has been firing off some amazing copy for us, and keeping sales afloat during the admittedly difficult summer months; and I've been desperately trying to keep up with tumblr and fetlife, while juggling a whole gamut of interesting life events. It's been amazing though, I've done some editing I'm really proud of (keep your eyes peeled for today's update, Day Ten of her Training, a classy vintage domestic discipline scene featuring Leia-Ann Woods and Thomas Cameron), and I no longer remember what it was like before I was working with so many talented and fascinating people every day!

Tuesday just gone presented itself with the rarest of opportunities - Pandora, her partner D, Girl on the Net, myself and my partner were all in town and without plans! Grabbing the chances with all ten hands, we headed off to a quirky little pub in Borough to eat pie, drink beer, and set the world to rights. We quickly occupied an upstairs room, and covered a great many salacious topics, including (but not limited to):

  • Wedgie fetish (and it's unsurprising crossover with the spankos);
  • The man with two cocks;
  • Sexy religious iconography;
  • The enlightening and disturbing comprehensiveness of the clips4sale categories list;
  • Fat shaming and body positivity in porn;
  • Strap-ons and chastity play;
  • Spank Magic: The Gathering - like Strip Poker, only way nerdier;
  • And of course, the titular van. I probably shouldn't go into detail, as it's not my tale to tell; suffice to say, it involved a kidnapping fantasy and a rather narrow alleyway!

The depth and breadth of the discourse ensured that we always had the room to ourselves, which I'm calling a win.

However, socialising wasn't our main aim for this meetup. We ultimately got together so that Pandora could give Girl and I our super shiny new business cards! I don't know about GotN, but I have never had a proper business card, let alone one that included the word "manager", so this was a big deal for me. We were both so chuffed with them that we posted them on twitter the next day. I mean seriously, what is there not to love about business cards with bottoms on them?

Aren't they great? I can't wait to start handing them out to people.

I hope you've enjoyed this wee glimpse into some of the fun stuff that goes on in the staging area. It was excellent to catch up in person and we're feeling a lot more refreshed as we go into the last few weeks of summer. There's some fantastic material coming up and, well... you're gonna love it!

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