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Humiliation play on the edge of my comfort zone

Tai Crimson is kink-shamed and humiliated by her abusive therapist in an edgy fantasy from Dreams of Spanking

Before we go any further I should warn you that The Abusive Therapist is a severe spanking film. It is an edgy fantasy direct from the kinky imagination of spanking starlet Tai Crimson. Here's the scene description:

Tai plays a vulnerable young woman struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts who begins a course of therapy. She soon finds herself mentioning her spanking and humiliation fetish - but she isn't prepared for the reaction of her therapist, Pandora Blake. Pandora recommends a course of 'corrective therapy', based on the idea that Tai's ideation about being spanked only persists because she doesn't really know what it feels like. Once Tai understands that in reality, spankings hurt and there is nothing sexy about being embarrassed and punished, Pandora declares that Tai will be 'cured'.

Once Tai is thoroughly humiliated, Pandora takes her over her knee and raises her skirt, giving her a no-nonsense firm hand spanking to show her what it really feels like. As the punishment progresses onto Tai's bare bottom, Pandora becomes ever more sadistic. She applies the stingy, vicious bath brush to Tai's cheeks with vigour, punctuating the spanking with a lecture about how sick and disgusting Tai is for fetishising spanking. Pandora makes it clear that she will continue to administer this type of aversion therapy until Tai gets over her 'perversion'. Ultimately, in this humiliation fantasy, is it the patient who is perverted, or the therapist?

Please note that this comes with emphatic trigger warnings for kink-shaming, stigmatising language, and emotional and physical abuse of a vulnerable character by a mental health professional.

DIsclaimer: there is nothing wrong with having a spanking fetish, and this is definitely not how therapists should behave.

I was quite nervous about watching this scene, because while I am dominant I am not really comfortable delivering humiliation. It feels wrong, especially when it involves shaming someone for their kink. The idea of watching this film definitely put me outside my comfort zone. When Pandora (as the performer not the character) admitted how difficult she found it, I could really empathise. However, I should know not to worry when watching a Dreams of Spanking production, because this is really well done. This roleplay is very much led by the performers, and clearly shown that it is done with full consent (and a fair amount of enthusiasm from Tai).

The main film is book-ended with cuts of the performers laughing and joking behind the scenes. For me this really helped, and eased a lot of the concern I had about this type of humiliation. Seeing Tai having a great time before the in-character bit begins helped me relax and enjoy the film as a hot fantasy.

Tai Crimson is kink-shamed and humiliated by her abusive therapist in an edgy fantasy from Dreams of Spanking

Tai has such an expressive face and a few times the camera zooms in on her expression. I loved the way she tries not to show her joy and excitement about the prospect of being spanked, but sometimes the mask slips and we see the arousal on her face. At one point Pandora tells her that only sick little perverts have the thoughts she does, and I noticed Tai let just an edge of a smile slip through. I found this film truly fascinating to watch because of these glimpses of Tai's enjoyment, and because of the energy in the roleplay. The way it all comes together feels very respectful, but at the same time very realistic.

Tai Crimson is kink-shamed and humiliated by her abusive therapist in an edgy fantasy from Dreams of Spanking

Pandora does a great job of making the therapist a believable (and horrible) character, despite the outrageous and untrue things she is saying. The spanking is convincingly hard and very accurate, and Tai’s bottom bruises beautifully. It starts with hand spanking, and moves through a few spanking implements finishing with a vicious split-tailed tawse. The final close-up of Pandora with a slightly evil looking grin on her face, stroking the tawse while watching Tai leave the room, is perfection and finishes the scene perfectly. If you enjoy humiliation play I think this is going to be a must-watch film for you.

Tai Crimson is kink-shamed and humiliated by her abusive therapist in an edgy fantasy from Dreams of Spanking

The anticipation before the drop

We are thrilled to have sex blogger HornyGeekGirl, an erotica author and self-proclaimed spanking enthusiast, as a new contributor to this blog. Please give her a warm welcome!

I love wax play. Delivering it, I love the feeling of joy at every little squeak and wiggle your partner makes. I especially love dripping hot wax onto a freshly spanked, flogged or caned bottom. Receiving it, there's the split-second sting of the heat as it hits, that lovely warming feeling as more is added, and then the sheer pleasure of it being picked, peeled or scraped off. It’s delicious.

Hot Wax starring Tai Crimson and Pandora Blake really captures the deliciousness of wax play. Right from the first photo, we see Tai’s smile of anticipation ... which turns to slight trepidation when Pandora pulls back her hair to whisper in her ear. Then there's the small smile on Pandora’s face as she lights the first candle. You can really feel the tension as Tai awaits that first droplet of hot wax. 

Tai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of Spanking

For me that anticipation is half the fun of wax play, and this image shows that perfectly. It’s the deep breath before the first stinging drip falls. I like the symmetry of being able to see a profile of each performer’s face. They both seem to focus on the candle, even though I know Tai probably can’t really see it.

Tai's face is a study in this photo gallery. There is something almost blissful in Tai’s expression as Pandora drips the first trail of colour from higher up, which changes to lip-biting pain as the wax - and the heat - get closer to her skin, until the wax leaves pink heat marks on her upper back.

Tai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of SpankingTai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of Spanking

I love the dynamic between the two of them. The comfortable ease expressed in Pandora’s gleeful enjoyment of Tai’s pain, and the total trust Tai shows even when wax is being dripped in very intimate places. Which brings me to the other hot thing about this photo gallery. After all that build up, the pay off is a sequence of incredibly naughty photos as Pandora teases apart Tai's bottom checks, tantalising her with the idea of hot wax being dripped into that most sensitive spot... and then lands drop after fat drop right onto her exposed hole. That range of photos made me wince and wiggle, and witnessing Tai’s pleasure at the pain really appealed to the domme side of me that likes to hurt people just the way they like it.

Tai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of SpankingTai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of Spanking

The final two images in the set are the perfect finish. It's lovely to see the two performers basking in the afterglow of the scene they’ve just shared - and it's clear from their faces that they loved every minute.

Tai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of SpankingTai Crimson and Pandora Blake play with hot wax at Dreams of Spanking

How severe is too severe?

One of the things I've occasionally thought about, as a feminist who runs a spanking site, is content warnings. Fundamentally, the idea behind these is that if something might include content likely to trigger someone recovering from serious trauma, it's respectful to give notice in advance that the topic is likely to come up, so anyone who needs to can prepare themselves and isn't caught off guard.

I think it's a really great way of making material more inclusive. Yet I've never gone ahead and instituted content warnings on Dreams of Spanking, at least not overtly. What I do instead is to make the content of each scene very explicit in the tags and copy surrounding the film. I try not to spoiler plot twists, but I do often remove the element of surprise from how the story of a film unfolds, in the interests of pre-warning viewers what they can expect - both to catch the attention of people with particular niche tastes, and to pre-warn people who might find certain content distasteful or upsetting. So far, I've been happy with that system. But if any film on Dreams of Spanking has made me wonder if it should include a content warning, it's our latest film starring Tai Crimson.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

When I was editing Caned at Home, I found parts of it so extreme - both in terms of the severity of the physical punishment and the nastiness of the verbal degradation and emotional abuse - that it made me feel uncomfortable. The whole scene was shot in a single take, so I didn't see any out-of-character interactions to break the tension and reassure me that Tai was okay with what was happening until the scene was over. However, I needn't have worried. The moment "cut" is called, Tai bounces up and enthusiastically tells me that she could have taken double the number of strokes. In fact, she almost seems disappointed that the scene hadn't been harder.

So I decided to reuse a film format that I trialled during our ATVOD investigation (and which may have played a part in our successful appeal win, although it's hard to be sure); showing snippets of out-of-character performer interviews or behind the scenes interaction both before and after the main film, to contextualise the fantasy in the real-world context of the performers' tastes and desires. Since we won our appeal, I hadn't particularly felt the need to do this - especially with films where the fantasy shows pleasure spankings and explicit consent. But Caned at Home is definitely not one of these.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

If edgy domestic scenarios showing the disproportionately severe punishment of a helpless girl aren't a turn-off for you, Caned at Home has much to recommend it. In particular, the sequences of hard and fast cane strokes falling one after the other without a break are some of the most convincingly severe thrashing I've ever seen on a UK spanking site. Tai has a high tolerance, and this was the third time we'd played together; she'd asked me to push her to tears, and this was our last scene of the day, so there was no reason to hold back. As it turned out, even the nastiest verbal abuse I could come up with - and one of the hardest canings I've ever delivered on camera - weren't quite enough to break her.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

Perhaps you love severe caning and verbal degradation as much as Tai does, in which case Caned at Home will be right up your street. But if, like me, you prefer to know for sure that the performers were into it before watching a scene of this intensity,  I recommend watching the performer interview and behind the scenes video first, to reassure yourself that no only was Tai unharmed by the making of these scene, but actively enjoyed it. It's lovely to work with a young woman who is so in touch with her kinky sexuality, and so articulate at expressing her fantasies and fetishes.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

Besides, severe canings that leave livid welts are most definitely not BBFC-compliant. Dreams of Spanking is currently the only UK spanking site where you can watch material like this, and we will remain so until the Digital Economy Bill means we have to stop, too. So enjoy it while you can.

Origins of a Pervert

My interest in porn performing was largely spurred by the desire to have an avenue for indulging my 'low-concept' kinky fantasies. I’m still a fan of the 'high-concept' (simple ideas that can be succinctly explained in a sentence) but the opportunities to, say, have your self-worth consensually attacked while your head is flushed in a toilet are a lot more infrequent. That’s why Bullied at Home is a strong contender for my favorite film I’ve been in.

Little girl Tai Crimson is bullied at home by Nimue Allen at Dreams of Spanking

Let me back up. Long before I became the perverted hedonist I am today, I was a burgeoning young deviant with unrestricted internet access. Out of that access came the ability to form a broader perspective of the world from an early age, a skill for discerning truth from bullshit with relative ease, and a penchant for depravity. While today, spanking is the core component of my sexuality, it was originally the second kink I had come across that clicked with me.

The first? Wedgies.

Little girl Tai Crimson is bullied at home by Nimue Allen at Dreams of Spanking

One might assume that this kink arose from first-hand experience, but that would make far too much sense. The girl who loves being tormented you see before you was once a boy who had never been bullied in this manner, but was desperate to experience it. Wherever it was in pop culture I first encountered the concept of pulling one’s underwear up to cause discomfort and embarrassment, the end result was a teen who spent far too much time emulating the experience for herself.

Did you know I have a huge embarrassment kink? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be telling you that I ripped at least a dozen pairs of underwear in middle school from giving myself wedgies hanging from the rafters of our garage. And I definitely wouldn’t be telling you that I once rode my bike around the park and high school near our house with a sign on my back reading “WEDGIE ME” in bold letters. The countless problems with this idea are left as an exercise to the reader.

It didn’t end there, of course. Just as wedgie fetishists and spankos share significant overlap, so do wedgie fetishists and swirlie fans.

Little girl Tai Crimson is bullied at home by Nimue Allen at Dreams of Spanking

For the uninitiated, a 'swirlie' is the act of pushing the victim’s head into the toilet bowl while flushing – another indignity I had never actually experienced, and thus took it upon myself to try out.

While these schoolyard kinks inserted themselves into my psyche at a young age, it took a lot longer to be able to see and articulate the compelling threads that run between them. Namely, strong desires to be humiliated, bullied, and made to feel like the pathetic little girl that I am.

Over time (and especially since having started hormones this past February), those themes have further intensified and coalesced into the primary variety of scenarios I now fantasize about: extremely edgy scenes with plenty of mind-fucking, where the masochism is both physically and emotionally heavy.

Little girl Tai Crimson is bullied at home by Nimue Allen at Dreams of Spanking

That bring us to Bullied at Home. This scene was a chance for me to satisfy those sorts of desires, with the delightfully sadistic bully role filled by the amazing Nimue Allen. Pandora came up with the “threatening to get kicked out of your foster home” spin, which genuinely got me wet the first time I heard it.

I couldn’t have asked for a more safe and comforting environment to be able to get into that sort of dark headspace in, and I hope you’ll agree that the end result is as hot to watch as it was to film!

School girl Tai Crimson is ready to give you an education

All too often, trans women are fetishised and objectified in mainstream porn, not to mention erased from spanking porn entirely.

This is something Pandora wrote a while back, talking about which scenes were the favourites of Dreams of Spanking fans. It was in reference to the award-winning Houseboy, which features the fiery Eliza Grey and the adorable Tai Crimson. Tai, at the time of shooting, identified as genderqueer and happily played a male character in the film. But in the year or so since Tai’s debut shoot as a performer, Tai has come out as a trans woman. A perfect time, I think, to acquaint (or reacquaint) yourself with this absolutely gorgeous, cute as a button and wonderfully eloquent young person.

Teen porn star Tai Crimson gives a school girl striptease at Dreams of Spanking

And what a wonderful introduction this photoset is. Radiating innocence in her school girl outfit, Tai slowly strips off her uniform. A shy bite of the lip occasionally crosses her face, as if she’s asking for permission to continue her reveal. She seems shy as she shows you her puffy, newly developing breasts; her utterly spankable bottom. But there's a cheeky glint in her eyes throughout, suggesting that should you wish to put her over your knee, she wouldn’t object ... too much.

Teen porn star Tai Crimson gives a school girl striptease at Dreams of SpankingTeen porn star Tai Crimson gives a school girl striptease at Dreams of Spanking

Indeed, in the accompanying interview, Tai tells us with a wonderful candidness about how edgy her kinks get (I for one am dying to know just what else is on that “kink menu” of hers). She also talks about her evolving gender identity, making the decision to transition, and the side-effects of hormones on her body. All throughout, her rock-solid sense of identity and her openness and self-acceptance are practically tangible - not just in the interview also in the photo set too, which includes some tantalising glimpses of how much being looked at turns her on.

Teen porn star Tai Crimson gives a school girl striptease at Dreams of Spanking

To me, growing up knowing next to nothing about sexuality apart from what I was taught in school and what was presented in the media, feminist and queer porn has been an education. It's offered a window into my own gender and sexual identity, helping me come to terms with my queerness, what I’m into and why that's okay. And watching and listening to Tai Crimson, I am absolutely certain that she will offer someone else a window into their own identity. So, come and get to know the future phenomenon that is Tai Crimson, and let this school girl school you.

The dark fantasies of Tai Crimson

The reason Dreams of Spanking is called dreams is that one of the core concepts of the site is to clarify the boundary between fantasy and reality. This is important to me because my fantasies are often fucking twisted.

I get off to thinking about being bound, violated, totally helpless, and punished against my will. This does not mean I endorse or desire non-consensual acts in real life: far from it, my edgy fantasies make me more invested in enacting and promoting good consent and communication, and in making sure I don't ever take advantage of anyone, or let myself be taken advantage of. Those of us with dark sexual psyches have good reason to think hard about the ethics of erotic power, and how to play with these ideas in a safe, securely-contained space that doesn't impinge on the real world. Actually doing something to someone against their will might be fine to dream about, but it's totally off-limits in reality.

So exploring that boundary line, where dreams end and reality begins, is one of the ideas behind this site: that's why we never publish an edgy non-consent fantasy without accompanying it with behind the scenes videos, out-takes and performer interviews, to show you that fantasy is just fantasy, and make visible the reality behind it. It's also become a policy of mine to not write non-consent scenarios for performers. If I come up with a film idea that is really dark and twisted, I'll either play the submissive role myself, or assign it to another performer only after they've raised the idea of shooting something similar; in that case, I'll run the script past them and amend it to suit their taste before we shoot. But my preference is to work with spankees who have a strongly-developed sense of their own kinky sexuality, and who come to the shoot with scenario ideas of their own.

That's one of the many, many reasons why Tai Crimson was such a pleasure to work with. 

When we were making plans for our second shoot with her - the first since she came out as transgender - she sent me the link to her sex menu, and invited me to peruse it before coming up with scenario ideas. Reading it, I learned two things: firstly, that Tai is the most self-assured teenage pervert I have ever met, and secondly, that she is even filthier than I am. A lot of the stuff on Tai's sex menu already takes me out of my comfort zone - for instance, her fetish for "swirlies", which is when a bully shoves your head in the toilet and flushes it. Luckily, I'm relatively practised at navigating discomfort, and perfectly happy to up the ante and add further twists and intensity until the scenario comes back into the realm of my own twisted imagination. Sometimes two wrongs really do make a right. For instance, one of the scene negotiations went like this:

me: (reads Tai's sex menu) How about a school bully scene including slapping, spanking, wedgies and (maybe) swirling, with Nimue topping Tai?

Tai: Oh gosh, yes! Struggling/roughhousing that leads to being facesat on & taunted might be a nice addition as well. Plenty of fun bully stuff to toss in as well - like, say, having armpits shoved in my face. (My ass, thighs, and tits are also open for punching!)

me: Awesome! How about having you be cousins, or even foster siblings in a shared home, and it be an after-school type thing with both of you still in uniform? With Nimue threatening to get you in trouble if you don't do what she says - actually having you both be in care would make this EXTRA edgy, as she could threaten to get you kicked out. If that's too dark, I will totally understand :)

Tai: Personally, it's dark enough that it just made me wet. Which is a resounding yes.

The shoot was at my place, and we were together for two days and two nights. The first day was spent shooting trade content for Nimue's World, and Tai's forthcoming Amateur Porn studio. I got to witness the filthy hotness that is Tai first hand, viewing some incredibly hot scenes from behind the camera. Tai and Nimue have great chemistry, and I really enjoyed watching it develop over the course of the day. For Nimue's site we shot a bathroom control scene, an introductory striptease, a tit torture photoset and a queer sex scene; and for Tai's clip store it got even kinkier, with a figging and anal ice cube scene, a bondage and tickling scene, a super-edgy interrogation scene, and a forced intoxication/breath play scene where Tai was forced to smoke weed and hold it in, only breathing when Nimue permitted her to. I have to admit that it's unusual for me to feel like the least kinky person in the room, but there's no denying that Tai and Nimue are way ahead of me.

So by day two, shooting four videos and two photosets for Dreams of Spanking, we were all warmed up and ready to roll. Last time we shot with her, we didn't get the chance to shoot an introductory photoset with Tai, as the day was already over-full getting all the shots we needed for our cinematic production Houseboy. So this time, we kicked things off with a cutesy photoset of Tai as an adorable schoolgirl, showing off her new girly look, her spankable bottom, and her puffy, newly developing breasts. 

I quickly discovered that shooting an innocent photoset with Tai is pretty much impossible. She loves being looked at, and as she removed her clothes the evidence of her arousal became more and more visible. This gallery is going live on the site this week, so you don't have to wait much longer to see how horny she got...

Throughout the shoot, Tai was taking selfies and updating her Twitter - which I thoroughly recommend following. I love this behind the scenes shot of her spread-eagled on the bed before our next scene, posting to the internet while she waited for me to be ready:

The next scene was another photoset - this time a domme/sub scenario with me using Tai's body as a pretty canvas for colourful hot wax. I bought these coloured play candles from Kink Craft at Eroticon earlier this year - they're lovely people, and I highly recommend their toys! I've played with wax before in private, but never brought it into a shoot. Tai was the perfect model, whimpering (and getting more and more turned on) as the wax dripped on her body - including in her most intimate places.

I really enjoyed covering her in colours to match my bedspread, making her wriggle and squirm, and seeking out all her sensitive spots. We also learned that the wax that burned hottest was the black one - and it left Tai with some lovely pink marks, as well as the beautiful decoration of the wax itself.

Once Tai had brushed all the wax off (and we'd shaken out the sheets!) we stayed in the bedroom for our first video - a more sexually explicit scene than the usual fare on Dreams of Spanking. When I first shot with Tai, she mentioned how much she loved anal play and big butt plugs. These are two of my favourite things too, and initially the Houseboy script had an extra femdom BDSM scene where I tormented Tai in all sorts of delicious, sexy ways. Sadly, we had to cut it due to lack of time, so when I planned to shoot with her again I was even more eager to make sure we got the chance to indulge in some butt play.

Tai is infamous for her love of anal CP - that is, smacking the butthole itself, rather than the buttocks as in traditional spanking. It's more exposing, more humiliating, more intimate and much more vulnerable. It's one of my big kinks too, and I was thrilled to have the chance to explore it on camera with a fellow queer femme who gets it.

Finally, once I'd warmed up Tai's hole, her cheeks and her thighs with smacks of my hand and my whippiest implements, the scene culminated with a strap-on fucking with my biggest dildo. This isn't the first time I've done this on camera, but it is the first time on Dreams of Spanking. Tai took it beautifully, and the scene was very real, very powerful, and very hot. It was an honour to explore something new together on film, and I can't wait to share the results with you.

After lunch, we moved to the lounge for the foster home bullying scene mentioned above. I got to take a break from performing, and it was gorgeous watching Nimue and Tai work their magic, with Tai as the new kid in the home, and Nimue as the boss bitch who smacks her around. This scene was straight out of Tai's filthy imagination, combining forced undressing, some tit and face slapping, lots of super edgy degradation and verbal abuse, over the knee spanking, wedgies and - last but not least - the ultimate humiliation: shoving Tai's face in the toilet, and flushing it.


I would never have written this scene if Tai hadn't listed all of these acts in such glowing, horny terms in her sex menu. Watching this scene unfold from behind the camera was a real treat. It's lovely to know that after ten years in porn, things can still surprise me - and I can discover the appeal of acts I never thought of as hot before. I'm grateful to Tai for being so authentic, so utterly open about her filthiest fantasies, and for trusting us to realise them for her. Even if wedgies and swirlies aren't your bag, I think Tai's total immersion and submission in this scene makes it really watchable - you can tell how into it she is, and it was wonderful to see her face light up when she talked about it in the post-scene interview!

I'd love to say that after the toilet-flushing everything got lighter and fluffier, but I'm afraid that it just escalated from there. The last two scenes of the day were, if anything, even more intense.

Although Tai had received lots of pain and domination so far, she hadn't been spanked with much other than the hand. That was about to change: our penultimate scene, lifted straight out of her sex menu, featured me as a no good, very bad therapist, and Tai as my vulnerable young client who confides her kinky fantasies to me. I shame her for having them, tell them that they're disgusting and wrong, and then take sadistic advantage of the situation and coerce her to take 'corrective punishment' from me.

It's interesting to note that even describing this scene to you now, I'm feeling a flutter of nervousness and vulnerability that you'll think I'm a terrible, terrible person for having this scene on my site. It's a fantasy that goes so strongly against the core principles of my morality - that there's nothing wrong with being kinky, that you shouldn't be ashamed about what turns you on - that I'm shy even about telling you we filmed it, even though you already know it was Tai's idea, not mine. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this being a fantasy of Tai's, either. That would be pretty ironic.

But I can tell you that I struggled to shoot this scene. I had to call cut at some point, just because I knew that my toppy dialogue sucked and I was totally failing to be the nasty, shaming abuser that Tai's fantasy required. Tai patiently fed me the script - "Tell me I'm a perverted freak, that there's something wrong with me, that no respectable or normal girl would be into stuff like this, that I deserve everything I get" - and I nodded and took some breaths, and we got back into character and tried again. I think we got there in the end.

It was pretty humbling, though. It's not often that the top is the one that has to safeword: and it renewed my admiration for Tai's strong sense of self; how aware and assured and accepting she is of her sexuality, that she can take ownership of her own shame scripts in this sort of consensual play. I hope the scene turned out well enough to do her wholeheartedness justice, despite my hesitance in the role of the kink-shaming authority figure.

I can attest that she took a pretty hard beating with some wickedly painful implements, including my much-hated stingy bathbrush, and the senior tawse. By the end of this scene Tai's bottom was ... well, crimson.


Then it was time for the final scene of the day; the caning Tai had been dreaming of since before she first shot for us.

By this point, you won't be surprised to hear that the plot involves unfair punishment and excessive severity. Tai plays her character from the bullying scene with Nimue; Nimue tattled that Tai was smoking and selling weed, and I play their overly strict caregiver who believes everything Nimue says, and punishes Tai with a hard caning. Luckily, I am 100% secure in my confidence that hard caning is something Tai loves and craves, and so it was easier for me this time to get into character and bring it to life. 


It also helped that giving hard canings is one of my favourite things to do - I love the craft of it, lining up perfectly parallel lines and judging the accuracy and power just right. Tai took it beautifully, and I'm delighted with this scene, and everything else we shot that day. I very much hope that she was satisfied with the results!

It was a pleasure and a privilege to host Tai's first shoot as a female spankee, and to assist one more trans girl in the valiant mission of queering up the spanking scene. It certainly needs it. All I can say is, those spanking sites that won't shoot trans performers are totally missing out. Tai is a treasure, and I can't wait to share her scenes with you all.

Trans girls in spanking porn

Since its inception, Dreams of Spanking has always been queer inclusive, and our performers have included transgender and non-binary folk from the very beginning (although they haven't always wanted to make a song and dance about it). My feminist politics of bodily automony and sexual freedom have always included the right for any individual to define their own gender identity, and to manifest their identity however they damn well please, whether through clothing, hormones or body modification.

In this day and age it seems bizarre to me that anyone would not be accepting of this - particularly those who make a point of their own right to express their kinky sexualities however they wish, despite the social stigma that often rejects kink as unwholesome, self-destructive or abusive. Transgender people experience much greater marginalisation than cis kinksters - particularly trans women, who inhabit a unique intersection of transphobia and misogyny which sees them as othered by many movements claiming to be radical, including some feminist and queer communities. The way I see it, us marginalised folk should stick together and support each other. BDSM and spanking has always been more body positive than vanilla porn, in some ways - it's more common to see fat performers in kinky porn, for example, and curvy bottoms in particular are fetishised in the spanking world. But in many ways, the spanking and BDSM communities are just as white-centric, sexist, ableist, ageist and transphobic as the wider culture they are embedded in. Being kinky doesn't automatically make people open-minded, unfortunately.

It seems very strange to me that Dreams of Spanking is still the only spanking site in the world that I know of to shoot with trans men and women, and to openly celebrate their transness as part of their whole personhood, if that's how the performer wants to be identified. Even among BDSM porn more generally, trans performers are a rare sight. 

Having had trans men and genderqueer performers amongst our cast members from the very beginning, it took longer than I wanted for Dreams of Spanking to shoot with our first trans woman. This wasn't intentional, but I could certainly have done more to seek people out sooner. It was listening to Courtney Trouble's keynote speech at the Feminist Porn Conference in 2014 that motivated me to up my game.

Skip ahead to 2016, where we have three out-and-proud trans women on the site - gorgeous Eliza Grey in Houseboy, and Michelle Knight and Submissive Sarah who took part in our sponsored caning project. And now, I'm here to tell you that since ATVOD forced us offline, that number has quietly gone up to four without you knowing it. Since shooting for us in May 2015 - already much more genderqueer than the male character they played in Houseboy - Tai Crimson has come out as a trans girl. And she is fucking adorable.

Adorable queer porn performer Tai Crimson

I learned about Tai's transition when I saw her in Berlin last year, and I was delighted for her. When she mentioned that she would be in London this summer and was interested in shooting again, I nearly bit her hand off. Houseboy was an incredible project, but the flipside of the ambitious cinematography was a long-winded shoot that involved a lot more getting the shots right than actual spanking. Last time we filmed together, Tai expressed her regret that she hadn't gotten more marked (in fact she asked for a behind-the-scenes caning in her end of shoot interview so she would go home with enough welts to be satisfied, and I was more than happy to oblige) and it led to some reflection for me on the fact that our normal, low-key, point-and-shoot filming style is actually a much more immersive and fulfilling kinky experience for my performers than more cinematic shooting.

After Tai worked so hard to help us produce an award-winning short film on her first ever porn shoot, I wanted her second shoot with us to be more down-to-earth: just me, her and Nimue, at my house, cramming as many hot experiences as we could into the time available. And oh my goodness, it was filthy enough to exceed all my expectations. I've got some incredibly hot previews to share with you all, but this post is already long enough. So - watch this space.

Pandora Blake and Tai Crimson playing with hot wax at Dreams of Spanking

Which spanking videos are you happiest to see again?

I've really enjoyed the last two weeks. It's been wonderful to see so many of you re-subscribing and commenting on your favourite scenes. I've been very happy to welcome familiar names and new ones - and it's hard to tell, but I have a feeling that the percentage of female members is higher this time round.

It gives me a warm glow just to see the site back up again, and I've had great fun romping around the archive, enjoying the feeling of being immersed in familiar pages - like re-reading a favourite book after a long time.

Thanks for your patience, all of you, while we settle in, wipe off the dust and start firing up all the mechanisms to get this engine running again. AJ has been working morning and night keeping on top of your payment and tech support requests, and her blogpost about how it feels to be back made me shed a little happy tear. Girl on the Net has a lot on right now - in fact she's possibly even busier than I am - but both of us have been running around behind the scenes, working hard to clear space in our schedules. Bear with us while we get back up to speed. The timing of the appeal win was as much of a surprise to us as it was to you, so we didn't have any new content ready to upload when the site re-opened. I'm working on having something ready for this weekend, but  if new updates are a bit erratic while we find our feet, you know why.

In the meantime, I know you've been enjoying the 274 spanking videos, photosets and audio stories in our archive since the site reopened - even though all our free content such as trailers and Backlash sponsored caning videos is cloud hosted, our bandwidth usage has been through the roof this month. You've shifted 10TB in a fortnight - and that usage is pretty much all logged-in members. That's a lot of video downloads!

So which spanking videos did our members make a beeline for, when the site re-opened? We asked our Twitter followers which of our scenes they'd missed the most. Here are their picks:

Dana for Senator

Every office should look like this! This film was Michael Darling's first ever porn appearance. I tried to help him out by getting spanked first, so he would know what was expected of him when his turn came, but perhaps the anticipation just made him even more nervous. Either way, Dana and Mike give classic performances in this elegant office punishment film, and he and I both end up with very red bottoms.

Dana for Senator: Dana Kane, Michael Darling and Pandora Blake. Femdom office punishment at Dreams of Spanking.

My Inner Little Girl

I have a lot of love for this film, which screened at Cinekink 2014 and was a milestone in my porn career - my first explicit masturbation scene and orgasm on camera. I play Tamora, a high-powered executive who copes with the stress of adult life by fantasising about being a little girl, spanked, scolded and helpless.

Pandora Blake fantasises about being spanked while she masturbates to orgasm at Dreams of Spanking

Houseboy

Where would a "best of" post be without Houseboy - the film that landed us not only the Cinekink 2016 Bring It! Award for up-and-coming filmmakers, but also the first prize in the Berlin Porn Film Festival Short Film Competition last year? I'm still ridiculously proud of this film, which brings storytelling, dominance and submission and spanking together in a tale of non-monogamy and jealousy in a queer, kinky household. 

This was both Tai and Eliza's debut porn appearances; at the time of shooting, Tai identified as genderqueer, and had no objection to playing a male character for this film, which I wanted to be a female gaze celebration of submissive masculine beauty. Since the shoot, however, Tai has come out as trans, and so this film now stars not one but two trans women; a demographic all too often fetishised and objectified in mainstream porn, and erased from spanking porn entirely.  

Houseboy: an award-winning tale of dominance, submission and jealousy starring Pandora Blake, Tai Crimson and Eliza Grey.

The Edwardian Governess

A lot of you are Caroline Grey fans - and who can blame you? I think I agree with Mr London - my personal favourite scenes of hers are the Edwardian Governess films, starring Caroline alongside Amelia Jane Rutherford, myself and Will Savage in the second film, Invitations. Lush period costume, spanking over split bloomers, peachy bottoms glowing cherry red, and lots of authentic (and witty) dialogue from Caroline and Amelia. 

Caroline Grey is spanked and paddled over the knee by her strict Edwardian governess at Dreams of Spanking.

Only His Hand

I was hard-pressed to pick a fifth film for this post. All the scenes Mr London mentioned are worth watching - I considered featuring The Seating Plan, in which my fiance's sister Ten Amorette spanks me before my wedding; or Little Ten, in which Ten plays my bratty girlfriend and I treat her like a little girl, and give her a good scolding and spanking. I'm also fond of Alex's POV, an innovative point of view scene in which we aimed to capture the female spankee's perspective with the camera, focussing on the connection between Alex Reynolds and her disciplinarian, Tom.

But I picked Only His Hand because it's one of the films I wrote long before the site went live; back in the early days of preparation, when I was working my arse off trying to save up to have some shoots, and my brain was overflowing with spanking video ideas. It was particularly satisfying for me to bring this fantasy to life. Hand spankings are one of my favourite things because they have so much range; there is no better way to warm up a bottom for pleasure spanking, but that equally, a hard hand spanking is just as painful as a paddle or hairbrush - if not more so. The idea of being held firmly in place by a strong, angry teacher who is determined to give me a punishment spanking I'll never forget, and show me just how hard his hand can be, still makes me shiver. Tom executed my fantasy to perfection, and this is one of the hardest hand spankings I've received on camera. (I think the only harder hand spanking on Dreams of Spanking is Over His Knee, and only because it goes on for longer; we skipped the plot and indulged in 20 minutes of pure, unadulterated over the knee spanking.) I love the storyline for Over His Hand - the neat way that the punishment fits the crime, and the absolute helplessness of my character during her well-earned punishment. If you want to see me genuinely squirm and struggle over the knee during a hand spanking that pushed my limits, you should watch this.

Pandora Blake takes a hard, fast, severe hand spanking over the knee at Dreams of Spanking.

Those weren't the only scenes named on Twitter - for instance, in a protected tweet Kodders mentioned Adornment, Charley Says and Bridezilla, all strong contenders for a Dreams of Spanking "best of". What scenes were you happiest to see back after our ten months away?

One thing is clear - the site being back up is bringing you as much pleasure as it is me, and I couldn't be happier to see you enjoying it.

Tai Crimson and Eliza Grey - amazing ambassadors for kinky sexuality

When I was eighteen, I'd have described myself as a sexual enthusiast, although probably in a hushed voice and with a fair degree of nervous shaking. As I grew into my kinks I learned more about what I liked and didn't, but it took a long time to swallow the courage to have an open discussion about it. It was rare for eighteen-year-old me to have conversations with others in my age group about navigating things such as polyamory, spanking, and kinky sex, and as a result I think it took a long time for me to work out exactly what I liked, and why.

If I'd met someone like Eliza Grey – the stunning transgender woman who plays Pandora's established housegirl – or Tai Crimson – who plays the queer, confident new arrival – then I suspect I'd have reached that place a lot sooner.

I'd have loved to have even half the confidence and sexual understanding of Tai, who has just shot his first porn film at the age of eighteen. Tai describes himself as a (gender)queer pansexual polyamorous switch – a bit of a mouthful perhaps, but utterly perfect to describe someone so enthusiastic about exploring every corner of his multi-faceted sexuality.

Tai Crimson behind the scenes at Dreams of Spanking

Eliza Grey, who plays opposite him, is equally confident in herself and her sexuality – a proud transgender woman who radiates delight in her body and her kinks in her post-shoot interview. As she explains candidly that “You should never be afraid of who you are,” I can't help but think that a younger version of me would have benefited greatly from knowing more people like Eliza.

In fact, both Eliza and Tai are amazing ambassadors for queer, kinky sexuality, and their post-shoot interviews are the perfect demonstration of why behind the scenes material, and candid discussions with performers, are so important to ethical porn.

Gorgeous transgender submissive Eliza Grey spanked over the knee at Dreams of Spanking

As Eliza says in her interview, porn can play a vital role in sex education – giving people an insight into sex, gender, and desire. Many of the topics that are brushed over (or downright ignored) in the mainstream media come to the fore in porn, where people put some of their most intimate kinks and fantasies out there for others to share. There's a whole world of difference between watching something that's formulaically created to fit mainstream ideas of what's sexy, and porn that's an expression and exploration of people's authentic desires.

At just-turned-eighteen, Tai is the youngest performer on Dreams of Spanking. When I watched his interview, the expression 'kid in a sweet shop' came to mind: he's got exactly the kind of gleeful enthusiasm for sex and kink that I would have loved to express at his age. His profile page gives an insight into the wide range of things he enjoys, including big butt plugs, bondage and prostate milking, and he's clearly a big fan of marks too. During his post-shoot interview his eyes light up at the mention of cane tramlines, and he requests a hard caning so he can go home with a few welts as a souvenir.

Tai Crimson behind the scenes at Dreams of Spanking

When I was Tai's age, the idea of having those exciting discussions would have been completely alien to me – a combination of societal shame, a lack of internet access (I didn't get proper broadband until university, so access to porn meant dodging parents and sweating over dial-up), and just plain shyness I guess. I certainly didn't have positive, proud role models like Tai and Eliza.

Please do go and watch the post-shoot interviews that accompany Pandora's cinematic new spanking film Houseboy. Not only are Tai and Eliza both so lovely that I couldn't help grinning all the way through their interviews, I think they're also fantastically eloquent ambassadors for BDSM.

Eliza Grey behind the scenes at Dreams of Spanking

It's ironic (OK, more than that – frustrating? Appalling? Fuck-off-worthy?) that one of the reasons ATVOD targeted Dreams of Spanking for censorship was that the films were deemed too 'TV-like', because they included interviews with performers and behind the scenes material. Leaving aside the fact that it's rare for a TV programme to include this kind of stuff, to my mind backstage video is vital to any porn that wants to be taken seriously. Not only does it give you a chance to meet the performers, satisfy yourself about their consent, and find out more about their kinks, it also opens up the discussion. When it comes to sex one of our greatest mistakes is our failure to talk candidly about it. If I could go back in time, one of the things I'd like to tell my younger self is this:

“There are other people out there like you.”

At its best, getting this message out to those who most need to hear it is exactly what porn can do.

Tai Crimson bends over for the belt from Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

What was your experience of kink when you were younger? Have you met people during your kinky life who've given you the same kind of positive messages as Eliza and Tai in their interviews?

Sometimes if we want progress, all we need to do is hvae a conversation – and I can think of no better people to start it than fantastic, kinky ambassadors like Eliza, Tai, and the other amazing performers who feature on Dreams of Spanking.

Shooting in a cinematic style - the story behind our new film 'Houseboy'

Our new film Houseboy is a departure from the usual videos on Dreams of Spanking - and most other spanking sites. This is our first attempt at a cinematic short film, aiming for a higher standard of cinematography and storytelling than we are usually able to achieve. I wasn't planning to shoot this way from the start - it came about from a convergence of factors that created the perfect opportunity to try something new.

Casting Tai Crimson

It started last year, when I met an enthusiastically kinky and ridiculously cute young person from San Francisco. He was gorgeous, he loved spanking - he could certainly take it - and he expressed an interest in shooting for Dreams of Spanking. He wasn't old enough at that point to perform in porn, but I said that once he turned 18 I'd be very happy to work with him. We made plans to shoot together when he was next in the UK - which happened to be May 2015, less than a week after his eighteenth birthday. How's that for a coming-of-age celebration?

Houseboy - a new cinematic short fetish film by Dreams of Spanking

I normally prefer to work with kinksters who are a little older, simply because I value emotional maturity and experience in the people I shoot with. I think the common fetish for "barely 18" performers in porn is partly based on the idea that young performers are vulnerable, and so it's easier to take advantage of them and push their limits. I find this sleazy and totally unethical, and I'd always much rather work with older players who know their own minds and are able to look after themselves. It's important to me that the performers I hire can take responsibility for their own limits and communication, are experienced enough players to know their bodies and their preferences, and are secure in their decision to appear in fetish porn - because once you've done it, there's no going back.

When I met Tai, however, he exploded all of my preconceptions. Although a teenager, he has a rock solid sense of his kinky identity, and he's been exploring his interest in private for years. He is calm, confident, intelligent, self-reliant, and very emotionally mature. So at eighteen and a few days, Tai officially beats Talia Lane to the position of youngest performer on Dreams of Spanking - and yes, we do have his ID on file to prove it!

We put a date in the diary, and meanwhile Tai and I exchanged emails discussing his interests and preferences. But by March this year, when I needed to start firming up plans, I already knew that ATVOD were investigating Dreams of Spanking and that I was likely to have to stop updating the site for a duration of several months while my appeal was underway. I had lots of scenes already shot starring Fauni, Mike, Talia and David and others which I wasn't going to be able to publish, so there was absolutely no point spending money and energy shooting more material that might never see the light of day.

Towards a cinematic style

Meanwhile, I'd attended the British Fetish Film Festival in February and the Berlin Porn Film Festival last October, and I'd been thinking an awful lot about shooting styles, production values, and the budget and time constraints under which I was shooting.

Over five years I have developed a shoot style that produces one 10-15 minute spanking film per hour, in a remarkably stress free environment, with plenty of breaks. This is based on improvised scenes filmed live by one or two handheld camera operators, with perhaps some close-ups or cutaways to enhance anticipation in the build up to the spanking scenes, but otherwise shot with as few cuts as possible - unless the performers themselves need to cut. Lightweight, consumer-grade cameras make handheld shooting manageable without the camera operators getting too tired, and using auto-focus allows us to get visual variety by roaming around the scene shooting different angles, rather than stopping the action to reset each shot.

This non-disruptive shooting style allows the performers to get into an immersive scene space and stay in character, which helps the roleplay flow more smoothly, and also helps the bottom stay in their headspace and makes the spanking itself easier to take. It's a system that Nimue and I have got down to a fine art, and I was pleased that we'd reached a point where we could create nice-looking films within budget, while maintaining a relaxed and fun shoot environment for everyone involved.

The downside of this low-key shooting style is that the resulting films would never achieve the cinematic quality that I was seeing at the film festivals I was going to. I'd had a couple of films rejected from international festivals, presumably because the videography, audio quality and storytelling wasn't up to scratch. I found myself wanting to level up, and see if with a bit more money, time and effort, I could raise my production values and put Dreams of Spanking on the map as a credible producer of cinema-quality films.

Houseboy - a new cinematic short fetish film by Dreams of Spanking

So rather than hire Tai for a day shooting a number of improvised ten minute website updates, I decided to use him to do something different. I booked amazing boudoir photographer Matt Christie to help out with the videography - he'd expressed an interest in shooting video last time we shot together, he has a commercial-grade camera and he also had access to an amazing location perfect for the scenario I had in mind.

I started penning ideas for a single 10-15 minute short film. Not five films, or six films, or seven. Just one.

Developing the story

With Tai, I had an articulate and gorgeous masculine-of-center performer with a submissive streak a mile wide, who loved being spanked. I thought about the films I was seeing at festivals, and the lack of beautifully-shot female/male BDSM films shot from a female perspective, with a male submissive who is both beautiful and interesting, and not just a cipher propping up a sexually objectified female dominant. Instead of this I wanted to make Tai the lust object and protagonist of the film, focussing both the lens on his body, and the story on his character's journey.

I started with a fairly traditional plot - a young man applying for a submissive role in the household of an established mistress. I brainstormed ideas for visual storytelling, thinking about ways to focus the storyline on the tension and anticipation Tai's character feels before he takes the plunge towards fulfilling his submissive desires. I considered ways to create an interesting power dynamic between his character and mine. I quickly realised that I'd need a third performer, another submissive serving the mistress - someone to make his arrival at the house feel more formal and more intimidating.

I'd already talked to my friend Eliza Grey about having her on set as a shoot assistant, helping out behind the camera (she had planned to be with us on our shoot in November, but had sadly been unable to make it). I realised she'd be perfect for the role of a bitchy receptionist, enhancing Tai's nerves before his interview with the Madame... and once I'd cast Eliza, the rest of the story fell into place. 

Houseboy - a new cinematic short fetish film by Dreams of Spanking

Writing the script

Ten days before the shoot, I was hurrying to finish the script on my laptop on the train. I'd never written lines for characters to say before, and I was finding it surprisingly difficult. I'd write a line, then agonise over it. What if Tai doesn't feel comfortable saying that? What if that's not what Eliza would say? I've always made a political point of not putting words in my performers' mouths, and suddenly that was what I was literally doing. At the same time I was all-too-aware that they were going to need to memorise their lines, and time was running out.

I closed my eyes, wrote some lines telling myself they were only placeholders, and sent it off with an apologetic email saying this was a very rough draft, and inviting them to make any changes they wanted. But my anxiety proved unfounded. In the end, bar one wording change, that script was the one we used - and Tai and Eliza rocked it.

Working with a storyboard

A week before the shoot I was on D's sofa after a fetish party, scribbling a 'storyboard' in biro on A4 paper from his printer while my friends chatted around me. After writing the screenplay I had a strong visual image in my mind's eye of what most of the shots would look like - now it was just a case of creating a visual reference so I could communicate my ideas to Matt on the day. I'd visited Matt's location a week ago, so the rooms were fresh in my mind. It was a useful exercise to think through camera angles and compose the shots, but I'm pretty sure it was the crappiest storyboard anyone has ever worked from. The most hilarious of my terrible stick figure drawings was this sketch of Eliza being spanked over my knee and feeling sad about it:

Professional production all round, innit.

The day of the shoot

The shoot day approached. I bought food and props, looked up travel options, packed suitcases, selected implements, printed scripts and release forms. Shortly before the day I realised that I'd inadvertently booked our shoot on the same day as the London Marathon, and the location we were using was only one block away from the route. That meant that not only would transport potentially be disrupted, but the exterior shots would all have a huge amount of background noise. Still, at this late stage there was nothing to be done about it. I booked an 8am taxi, the traffic at that hour was fine, and I was on set at 9am. Matt and I drank coffee and looked through the storyboard, then Tai and Eliza arrived - and it was all go.

Shooting from a script was a totally new experience for me, and a steep learning curve. I'd worked out the best shooting order, shooting the story in as close to chronological order as possible while minimising room and lighting changes. After that it was just a question of staying calm, following the callsheet and taking it one shot at a time.

Houseboy - a new cinematic short fetish film by Dreams of Spanking

I was using an external mic for the first time, and was grateful to have Eliza helping out and sharing the responsibility for making sure the mic was a) close enough, b) not in shot, and c) recording each time. She was also an absolute star helping out with moving lights, checking camera batteries and memory cards, making tea and tidying up behind us. A+++, would work with again. Plus it turned out she could seriously act...

It was a full day, perhaps a bit too full - nerves started to fray after a few hours, and everyone was feeling tired by mid-afternoon. The shoot would definitely have been easier with more camera crew or fewer scenes to fit in. After a few hours, Matt noticed a round smudge in the middle of the lens, and wiped it off - but of course there wasn't time to go back and re-shoot the shots we'd already done. By the time we came to shoot the confrontation between Tai and Eliza in the kitchen, everyone was so tired that that scene took about seven takes. Some of the shots ended up out of focus, and we got through so many cans of tonic that I was worried we'd run out!

Editing the film

Still, despite all that, when I came to look at the footage I was pleased to discover that most of it looked how I'd expected. There were a few surprises in the edit - such as that moment when I realised the reverse shot in one dialogue scene crossed the line and was therefore unusable, and was suddenly grateful that we'd shot three angles of that particular scene, even though at the time it felt like overkill. It was a monster of an edit, but satisfying too, sorting through all the footage, plugging it into place, and seeing how the scenes I'd envisioned in my mind played out on camera. 

Houseboy - a new cinematic short fetish film by Dreams of Spanking

Choosing the music was another daunting prospect - I knew I wanted to avoid re-using the same creative commons soundtracks that you hear time and time again in indie porn, and that meant spending money. But how to start looking? First I worked out where music was needed - in the intro sequence, the montage, and the closing credits, which meant I needed two or three pieces in total. Then I did a rough edit of those sequences so I had a vague idea of how long the music would need to be. After that, I set a day aside to browse SoundDogs, typing in different keywords and playing pieces with my eyes closed, visualing the film, until I hit on a genre that felt right. I realised that for this story my usual taste in piano and cello-dominated classical and film score music wouldn't work - Tai's character needed something moody and masculine, guitar-led, energetic and driving. Finally I whittled down a selection, downloaded some samples and started laying them over the edit to see what worked.

Primarily, this film was intended to be screened at film festivals - which meant that the narrative would have a different structure than standard spanking films. In a film intended for someone to watch while having a wank, you need a carefully paced build-up and pay-off that sustains uninterrupted shots of climactic spanking action for long enough for the viewer to reach orgasm. In a longer film, there might be two of three of these build-ups and climaxes, separated by character-driven story. But at a film festival, the audience are watching to have their minds stimulated, not their genitals. Fast-paced editing is preferable, providing lots of new visual information with every shot. Explicit sequences need to be edited down to the bare minimum necessary to develop the characters and progress the story. So that was a new challenge: cutting the 15 minutes of high quality spanking action in, for instance, Tai's audition scene, down to the three minutes earmarked for it in the festival edit. The only way I was able to do it was by promising myself that I'd release the full, uncut scene as an extended edition on Dreams of Spanking later. But meanwhile the deadline for the Berlin Porn Film Festival was June 30th, so I had to get the shorter edit finished first...

In the end, thankfully, it was finished in time to submit to Berlin, and I'm hopeful that they'll accept it. I'll be submitting it to various other film festivals over the summer as well. I'm really happy with the finished film, and completely honoured to have been trusted with Tai and Eliza's porn debuts - and thrilled that they had a good time.

Houseboy - a new cinematic short fetish film by Dreams of Spanking

And that's a wrap!

It was a really long shoot day. We finished the scheduled shots around 7pm, 10 hours after I'd arrived on set. But then we cracked open the champagne and ended up chatting and buzzing on a total high, which led to another two hours shooting performer interviews, and even a behind the scenes caning for Tai when he confessed he still didn't think he'd been spanked enough...

By the time we finally turned the cameras off, sat down for some supper and tidied everything away, the sun had gone down - and it was 11pm before I finally got into a cab. Matt and I had been on set for fourteen hours, Tai and Eliza for thirteen. I am so grateful to the three of them for their enthusiasm, dedication and professionalism. It was a long fucking shoot and everyone put in so much energy and creativity it was kind of overwhelming. Overall, this production cost ten times as much as an average Dreams of Spanking video, but even so I still came away feeling like I hadn't paid people enough for the amount of work they'd put in.

In conclusion

Overall, this was a very satisfying project, and I'm really happy to have it under my belt. But it also taught me a lot about the trade-off that arises when you move towards a more cinematic shooting style. My previous method gave my performers more breaks, less stress and a much more satisfying kink experience. Shooting Houseboy, we did the bare minimum of spanking needed to get the shots I wanted - and stopping to move the camera, check the focus and lighting, consult the storyboard every few seconds made it hard to get immersed into a satisfying spanking headspace. I'm glad I hadn't scripted any particularly hard spanking scenes, because I think severe corporal punishment would be much more emotionally and physically challenging to take in this context.

I hadn't realised it before, but shooting in a more amateur style results in a much more rewarding experience for the performers - with more opportunity for top and bottom to develop an in-scene chemistry, focus on each other rather than the camera, and time for the bottom to sink into a yummy submissive headspace, without constant distractions.

So what can I take away from this? Well, I've learned that shooting in a cinematic style is something I can do, and that's good to know. I've learned that it's hard work, at least ten times as expensive as my usual shooting style, and considerably more time-consuming to produce and edit. It's also exhilarating, exhausting, and very creatively satisfying. I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and gave it a go, and I'm hopeful that the finished film will be screened in Berlin this year. But I've also learned that I don't want to start shooting this way every time. Perhaps I might be able to put out one cinematic film a year, but this experiment has restored my faith in my usual low-key way of shooting, which it turns out is preferable experience for me and my performers - and a much better environment to ask people to take hard spankings in. Our standard Dreams of Spanking shoots emphasise process over product, and trying something new has re-affirmed my faith in that process.

You can watch the long-play trailer for Houseboy below - and if you're a site member, please watch the full film and tell me what you think - and make sure you also check out the extended editions of Tai's and Eliza's spanking scenes, performer interviews and Tai's off-the-cuff behind the scenes caning.

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