Dreams of Spanking: fairtrade spanking, corporal punishment and discipline fantasies by Pandora Blake. Join us »

 

A name cleared and a bottom striped



Proof of Innocence
is something of a hidden gem; it was shot over a decade ago, and then released by its visiting performers on their own blog. We’ve always wanted to share it with the Dreams of Spanking audience, though, so we’ve pulled it out and polished it up - and, as an added treat, released it entirely for free to the world at large. Who doesn’t love free spanking porn?

This was a particularly special film to shoot: it was made entirely by two real-life D/s couples, both of whom brought their electric chemistry and authentic dynamics with them to the set. It was the first time Kaelah had done anything like it on camera, and the first time she’d played with anyone other than Ludwig. She wrote a beautiful post about it on her own blog, and Pandora has written about it too; both posts are well worth reading, and give beautiful insight to the context of the film itself.

The film also represents the beginning of a beautiful journey for Kaelah and Ludwig, who went on to shoot for Dreams of Spanking several more times. If we’ve whetted your appetite and you’d like to see more, you’ll find their other scenes right here - each one featuring inspired plot, in-depth characterisation and a blistering spanking.

Censored in the UK

What do female ejaculation, full bondage with gags, face-sitting and spanking that leaves marks all have in common? They're all now banned in UK porn according to new laws that went into effect last week, the Audiovisial Media Services Regulations 2014.

These regulations apply the existing BBFC guidelines (controlling what can and can't be sold on DVD) to the world of online porn. In other words, an out-of-date set of restrictions to a medium few porn customers bother with anymore are, rather than being brought up to date, now being applied to the internet  - the last bastion of freedom of expression for British porn.

The guidelines disproportionately affect acts of female dominance and female sexual pleasure, as well as banning all spanking and BDSM content that produces marks beyond those deemed "transient and trifling". This will affect every spanking site in the UK, and countless more British fetish and feminist porn sites besides.

Dreams of Spanking performer and independent Australian feminist porn director Zahra Stardust is writing her PhD on the legal regulation of pornography. She says, “Those of us who are making queer, feminist, and kinky porn are doing so as an act of civil disobedience, because we know from lived experience that the cost of censorship in our communities is too high. These laws actively produce a heterosexist, misogynist sexuality as ‘normal’, whilst pathologising and closeting practices that are actually life-affirming, consensual and meaningful."

These laws apply to publication, not possession. UK consumers can still legally still access porn produced and published overseas - for now (although expert obscenity lawyer Myles Jackman thinks this is the beginning of a sinister attempt to block foreign sites as well). Meanwhile hundreds of independent British porn producers are being criminalised, including every UK spanking site you can name. We, and many of our fellow fetish porn producers, stand to be closed down if we let this go unchallenged.

You can read more about exactly what's banned and how this will affect UK porn in my post Online porn: the canary in the coalmine, and I've also posted link round-ups tracking the international outcry against these new restrictions.

How does this affect us?

If Dreams of Spanking were to comply with these new regulations, we would have to take over half our scenes offline. Our future production would be heavily censored: we would never be able to film any spanking, caning, birching, belting or tawsing again - anything that resulted in welts or bruises. We would not be able to show any bondage with all four limbs bound as well as a gag. We would not be able to use any outdoor locations which someone might possibly have overlooked. Age play and school uniforms are problematic if there is any suggestion that the actor is playing a character under eighteen. Wrestling is problematic. And on and on.

Here are a select handful of scenes that we would have to delete if we chose to comply: 

Drunk and Disorderly at Dreams of Spanking
Drunk and Disorderly - Vincent's cane marks definitely go beyond "transient and trifling" in this judicial police caning scene.

Pandora's Belt Whipping Fantasy at Dreams of Spanking
Pandora's Belt Whipping Fantasy also fall foul of the new restrictions - never mind that the film explicitly shows my enthusiastic consent.

Doctor of Pain at Dreams of Spanking
Our comic "hammer horror" parody Doctor of Pain features four-limb bondage with a gag - which according to the AVMS means that I, the director, was unable to signal my consent, despite the fact that a) I had written the scene, b) I could still waggle my fingers and bang my hands and feet, and c) I could in fact have spit the gag out and wriggled out of the rope if I'd wanted to - but I didn't.

My Lady's Pleasure at Dreams of Spanking
The whipping Nimue orders her manservant to give her in My Lady's Pleasure is definitely banned - even though she is in control of the scene the whole time and telling him to go harder.

If these regulations are enforced, the only spanking scenes any UK producer will be able to make will be light hand spanking leading to a mild pinkness. No caning, no implements, no bruises, no welts.

Hywel Phillips, who runs UK glamour bondage site Restrained Elegance with his wife Ariel Anderssen (known to spanking fans as Amelia Jane Rutherford) thinks this sort of paternalistic censorship dismisses and denies the consent of porn performers. "The idea that the people who do this for pleasure, or for a living, cannot possibly know better than the father figure censor what is acceptable, what is safe practice, what they want to do and what they want to have done to them. This is called denying their agency- telling them that they cannot possibly know their own mind or make their own minds up."

Another potential casualty of these new regulations is free preview content. The censors want all adult content to be behind a paywall, so that children can't accidentally click through to it. If they start to take a close look at spanking sites, they will demand that we take down all our free video trailers and preview pictures that show spanking or nudity.

So what are we going to do?

First of all, we refuse to censor ourselves. Dreams of Spanking will continue doing business for as long as possible. We won't take half our archive offline pre-emptively, and we won't stop shooting the hot spanking scenes we want to - welts and all. If we are contacted by the censors with a demand to comply with the new regulations, we intend to challenge it.

We have always prioritised performer consent in our films, and you only have to take one look at our blog, performer interviews or behind the scenes videos to see that our films are made with love. All our cast members are genuine spanking enthusiasts, and our top priority on set is that everyone should be well looked after and have fun. We think it is ludicrous to ban depictions of consensual adult spanking, and we don't intend to go down without a fight.

However, we have taken legal advice and we're up for trying one or two things which might help our case. For instance, we've been advised that it might be a good idea to include performer consent in the spanking film itself, as well as in the surrounding contextual materials. So from now on, as well as publishing full-length out-take videos and performer interviews alongside each spanking film, we'll cut some edited highlights from the out-takes and interviews into the scene itself, so you'll get to see an introduction to our lovely performers before and after the in-character scene. Our latest two films, Provocative Housework and Curious Pleasures, are both examples of this new format.

This idea fits in to our existing ethos of being transparent and honest about where fantasy ends and reality begins, so we're happy to make this change if it will help viewers understand without a doubt that all our performers are consenting, kinky adults.

In refusing to self-censor, we aren't standing alone. A number of the Dreams of Spanking cast and crew have joined the outcry against these ridiculous new laws:

Is that it?

Far from it. This is only the beginning. These regulations are a worrying step on the path to total state censorship of the internet in the UK, and we need to work together to get them repealed - and prevent this harmful, worrying censorship of free expression from going any further.

Julian Huppert MP has tabled an early day motion requesting a debate on this issue - only two other MPs have signed it so far. The more MPs sign, the more likely this will be debated in the Commons. We think that if this issue is debated then we are likely to see change. The AVMS regulations were decided undemocratically by an unelected quango, and all the UK media coverage so far has been highly critical of the new law. We need to lobby our MPs to add their names to the motion in order to have a hope of getting this overturned.

So what can you do? Well, if you're resident in the UK, you can:

And if you aren't in the UK? Well, this will still affect you, as if British fetish porn producers are forced to comply with these regulations, you won't be able to watch our films any more.

You don't have to be in the UK to submit a complaint to ATVOD using their own complaints form. This form is intended to be used to complain about "inappropriate" TV content, which just makes re-appropriating it funnier. Let's spam them with complaints about their own regulations.

We at Dreams of Spanking believe that it is perfectly possible for adults to give informed consent to hard BDSM and spanking play, and to ethically create films depicting it. Our films are ethical, consensual, and an authentic expression of adult consensual kink. We refuse to be complicit in the state censorship of the porn we love, and we won't take anything down before we absolutely have to.

The only way we can keep on making the films you want to see is if we get these regulations overturned before we attract the notice of the censors. And we can't do it alone. Whether you are a Dreams of Spanking member or not, we need your help.

If you love kinky porn please share this blogpost, sign the petition, turn up to the protest, complain to ATVOD, write letters, talk to the press, and kick up as much of a fuss about this as possible. And please keep supporting your favourite porn sites by buying a membership - while you still can.

Free-range porn

There have been some changes to Dreams of Spanking over the last month. You may have noticed them, you may not. I haven't been able to write about it here for reasons that will become obvious, but now things are more or less resolved, I can briefly describe what's happened. 

It started with a site review by our credit card processor CCBill, requesting some minor (if baffling) wording changes, mostly to blogposts and scene pages. CCBill's Acceptable Usage Policy has vague wording describing the sort of content they are happy to process billing for, and we went through a similar review process with them when preparing the site for launch. The interpretation of their policy seems to subjectively depend on which employee is handling your case; and so some things they had required before launch weren't required now, whereas other things that had been missed then were now flagged for removal.

For technical reasons, the review also required us to set up a new subaccount with them, a process which triggered yet another review, from yet another policy advisor, and this is where things got interesting. The short version is that a lot of content which hadn't been picked up on a week earlier was now flagged for deletion. They specifically picked out three scenes featuring sword-fighting or severe caning. These films were fine a week ago, but now, suddenly, they had to go.

I didn't really have a choice about complying with CCBill's demands. I can't run this site without a billing provider, and other producers informed me that a lot of these regulations are handed down from Visa and other financial institutions, and that all credit card processors have similarly inconsistent requirements. As one producer said, "the policies of such organizations are capricious, arbitrary, defy logic and present an unpredictable moving target". Most billing agents deliberately word their policies to be vague, to give them scope for flexibility. This vagueness means no producer can guarantee they’ll be safe with one billing agent or another.  Besides which, changing credit card processor is a lengthy, complex, expensive process which I simply couldn't afford.

I make spanking videos for the love of it, and in hope of reaching out to others who share my fantasies. I hope that my films might turn you on, fire your imagination, or perhaps help you discover that you are not alone, and that spanking fantasies can be a healthy part of a vibrant sexuality. I firmly believe that it is not harmful for consenting adults to act out these sorts of fantasies, or to share the resulting images with likeminded kinksters.

The key is consent. If all participants consented and had fun making it, there is nothing wrong with enjoying any kind of porn, however weird or extreme.

I therefore decided that the best possible response to CCBill's removal requests was to give away the deleted scenes for free. As I wrote at the time:

So these requirements are handed down to CCBill from Visa; all other billing agents are the same? Fuck capitalism: I’ll give it all away. Full length video downloads, image galleries, behind the scenes documentaries, associated writings, everything. Plus the comments, the blog posts, the performer bios, all the surrounding context that demonstrates the ethical production and enthusiastic content that went into the making of those scenes, because without that, it’s not representative of what I’m doing.

Free range porn, released into the wild! It’s an exhilarating, liberating prospect. Free economics: the last line of defence against the capitalist censors. If I’m not charging, there’s not a damn thing they can do about it.

The free download site has now been launched, and is called Darker Dreams.

Darker Dreams: free-range spanking porn

When I was in the middle of dealing with this issue the urge to rebel against CCBill was a strong one, but that wasn't my only reason for deciding to make the deleted content available for free. The more I thought about it, the better an idea it seemed.

One of the films flagged for removal was Ludwig and Kaelah's film The Final Test. They wrote the film themselves as a positive representation of their severe caning kink, which is often considered controversial. They were tired of arguing their corner against people who insisted anyone who liked that sort of thing was “sick”, and decided to make a film complete with a behind the scenes documentary to show how it can be conducted in a healthy, consensual, and empowering way. Both of them refused to allow me to pay them for the shoot: they insisted that they were doing this for love, not money. As soon as The Final Test was singled out for removal, giving this film away seemed like the best way to honour the spirit in which it was created

Additionally, I come to production from the open source community, and have long been fascinated by free economics and the future of commercial media distribution in the age of file-sharing. I’m interested in exploring alternative business models that exploit the economics of abundance offered by digital media – for instance, I have a “pay what you like” porn site in the pipeline. This seemed like a good opportunity to road-test one possible alternative business model (giving content away and inviting donations from those who enjoy it) in a relatively risk-free way. After all, the content had already earned its keep on Dreams of Spanking; I could make the experiment without having to invest more money producing brand-new content.

A separate mini-site was also the most achievable solution. A free site is easier, quicker and cheaper to build than a separate site using a new billing agent; or than changing the billing agent for Dreams of Spanking. This option allowed me to make the content available as quickly as possible after I was required to take it offline.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, if content is deemed dangerous or offensive by anyone, controlling corporations or governments alike, the best way to prove that it isn’t is to make it publically available.

Many commenters have remarked on how tame the scenes CCBill objected to are compared to porn you can find elsewhere on the web. Our silly sword-fighting scenes, for instance, all use fake weapons, such as rubber toy swords or capped fencil foils - and yet CCBill still found the "threat to life" implied by these duelling scenes too "realistic" to be allowed.

Fear and myths still abound about kinky people and practices, and fear is fuelled by ignorance. Most campaigners against "violent porn" (and there is a campaign against simulated rape pornography raging as I write this) have sat down and watched very little of it. Openness and transparency are our best defence against censorship and fear.

Hence, Darker Dreams.

Thanks to all who helped donate to make this site happen.

Thanks also to the following bloggers for covering this issue and linking to the free site:

Check out Darker Dreams to see The Final Test, The Pirates of the Jolly Kraken and The Avenger's Return. If you want to support this project, donations are always appreciated, however small. Or of course you can buy a membership to Dreams of Spanking and access our archive of 123 uncensored spanking scenes.

The Final Test

At the weekend our first severe caning film was released.  We've had hard canings before, of course - Caning Merit Badge and Caned in Jodhpurs spring to mind - but "severe caning" is pretty much a genre in itself, usually referring to judicial strength cold canings of 30, 40, 50 strokes or more. It seems to be particularly common amongst the Eastern European producers such as Lupus (whom Adele Haze has worked with), Mood Pictures and  Pain4fem (which is the studio with whom I filmed my only judicial level caning to date).

It's a controversial genre, with a lot of anxiety and misinformation about both the consent of the spankees and the wisdom and health concerns of this level of physical severity. Most professional spanking performers only indulge in this sort of scene occasionally, due to the healing time required afterwards, and the fact that very few people have the desire to play at this level frequently - for most of us it's an occasional adventure, not a regular thing.

German spanking bloggers Ludwig and Kaelah have more direct experience with the severe caning genre than most. Ludwig has topped for both Lupus and Mood, and is well known for his detailed shoot reports, dispelling the myths and horror stories with his matter of fact honesty about the realities of production. Ludwig's partner Kaelah does not share his kink for this level of severity, but nonetheless she was deeply curious about the experience. She decided to confront her fears and undergo such a caning herself, so that she could have an informed opinion about what it was like for the performers she had seen in other films.

The pair had previously shot a homemade film of Kaelah taking a severe 50 stroke caning, but Kaelah was not entirely satisfied with the results. She wanted to revisit the theme with a professional producer, to create a film she could be truly proud of.

Click to view trailer for The%20Final%20Test

Together they conceived the idea of a martial arts student ready to progress to the next level of her training, about to go on a life-changing journey to study with new, stricter teachers. She chooses to participate in a final inurement practice to prove to herself and others that she has the strength of character to endure such rigorous training. This test is not mandatory; rather she volunteers to undertake it, for her own reasons.

Kaelah and I both love the concept of severe corporal punishment undertaken consensually, with honour and self-discipline. As an experienced tai chi practitioner Kaelah was able to bring her physical skill and grace to the screen with a breathtaking performance that underpins her courage and self-control during the caning itself.

The resulting film, The Final Test, is strongly performer-driven. Two behind the scenes documentaries supplement the main feature, and both Kaelah and Ludwig have written in-depth blogposts about the experience of creating the film in their own words. Kaelah wrote, "I have seldom been as happy with a scene as I was and am with this one." You can read more about Kaelah's decision to embark upon this journey in her blog posts Healthy Severity, The Final Test: Preparations and The Final Test: Shoot Report.

The Final Test is focussed on the rite of passage of Kaelah's character, and the way she draws on her training and inner strength to endure the experience. Fifty full force cane strokes delivered straight from cold are not for the faint-hearted. But as you will see, Kaelah is anything but.

Kaelah displaying her marks after shooting severe caning film The Final Test for Dreams of SpankingPhysically, it's the most severe scene to be published on this site to date. This photo was taken a few hours after the shoot, by which point the deep bruising is already visible. The welts are dramatic and beautiful, a must-see for marks fetishists, but perhaps beyond the comfort zone of many spanking enthusiasts.

This physical severity is why the consensual storyline, the emphasis on Kaelah's strength of will, and the behind the scenes material in which she explains her motivation for doing the shoot are all so important to me.

The Final Test achieves a lot of the goals I had in mind when creating Dreams of Spanking, and I am very proud of it. The things I love about this film are many, but here are just some of them:

  • The severity. This is actually the level of corporal punishment I fantasise about most of them time, although it's not practical to indulge in real life very often. Despite the asexual nature of the scene, and my cerebral focus on the technicalities of editing, I found myself physically aroused at the end of each working day while I was working on this film. Hey, I guess I must have some sort of corporal punishment fetish.
  • The strength of will shown by Kaelah's character. She's not submissive; she's totally in control of herself and of her situation throughout the film. It's inspiring for those of us who aren't straightforwardly submissive but still enjoy hard corporal punishment.

  • The focus on the performer's desires and motivations. Ludwig and Kaelah were closely engaged at every stage of the process. They wrote the storyline, which draws on Kaelah's tai chi skills in a highly personal, non-verbal and intimate way. The production as a whole is about Kaelah's emotional journey - both her character's rite of passage, and, in a way, her own in realising her ambition to have positive memories of shooting a consensual severe scene. The behind the scenes documentaries describe her motivations, reactions, thoughts and feelings throughout. I would love to see other severe producers picking up on this and releasing similar behind the scenes material with their films - when creating edgy, extreme or uncomfortable porn there are few better ways of facilitating transparency and trust.
  • Speaking of Kaelah's motivations, I found them complex and interesting. Her reasons for acting out this scene herself were not sexual; the shoot wasn't an erotic experience for her. Her vision for the film was informed by what she finds erotic to watch (ie. consensual scenarios, restrained reactions) but in bringing this idea to life her motivations were creative, not hedonistic. The sensations, extreme as they were, were simply a means to an end. I can identify with this to some extent, and I think it makes her perspective really unusual; her joy and satisfaction in this scene are not those of a thrill-seeker, but someone enduring physical suffering for the sake of long-term emotional gratification. Rather like her character!

  • Kaelah and Ludwig are both very much on the same page as me when it comes to transparency in ethical porn. They favour informed, enthusiastic consent and scenes in which the performers are expressing something true and heartfelt about themselves. They are thoughtful and articulate in their advocacy of these ideas, and the accompanying behind the scenes documentaries really benefit from their ability to express themselves clearly (in a second language, no less!). As you will see, the couple took a lot of care to construct the scene so as to create the genuinely severe film they wanted, without compromising Kaelah's emotional wellbeing or causing needless physical damage.
  • Finally, I am entranced by the beauty, grace and skill Kaelah shows in her tai chi sequences. She moves with the fluency and control that comes from years of experience. It's a joy to watch. (It's also very sexy - physical skill and grace both being extremely attractive!) Compare her movements and breathing during the tai chi katas with the way she uses her breath during the caning, using her exhales to ride the pain and retain absolute self-control throughout. The result is an awe-inspiring demonstration of physical discipline and inner strength.

I was a bit nervous about including the meditative tai chi cutaways during the caning scene, but I felt the caning was somehow too plain without it. I wanted to find a way to raise it to another level. It was a bit of a risk to interpolate martial arts shots into a corporal punishment scene, but I think it paid off. One reviewer has already said he appreciated the breaks from the intensely harsh caning. Personally, I find the tai chi sequences make the caning more intense by calling attention to the level of meditative focus required to endure it, and by creating a greater emotional engagement and empathy with Kaelah's character. They also provide a concentration break which renews your appreciation for the severity, the change of scene preventing you from getting used to the force of the strokes. 

The Final Test is released with two behind the scenes documentaries. In Part 1, 'Preparations', Kaelah discusses her motivations for embarking on her second severe 50 stroke caning film (her first with a professional producer). She and Ludwig talk about their thoughts and feelings prior to the shoot, where their idea for the storyline came from, and what they hope to achieve by creating this film. The couple also describe the medical precautions they are taking prior to the caning, and share their decision-making processes regarding the table, cane and position selected for the whipping. Kaelah and Tom practice some tai chi katas prior to the shooting of Kaelah's solo fan sequence. 

In Part 2, 'Making Of', Kaelah and Ludwig talk about their feelings immediately before filming commences, and we share intimate out-takes and behind the scenes footage from the severe caning sequence itself. Kaelah controls the pace of the scene and takes the pauses she needs, and even laughs and jokes between shots. Afterwards, Kaelah and Ludwig give a final interview describing their immediate reactions to the scene. Part 2 ends with out-takes from Kaelah's solo tai chi katas, and a closer look at the sword form. 

It was an honour to be chosen to make Kaelah and Ludwig's dream a reality. The Final Test has already been reviewed by The Blog of Fred and Nimue Allen. I'm thrilled with the finished film and by the positive reception so far. Here's to more fairtrade severe caning films!

Coming soon: Severe caning

A teaser for our upcoming spanking film.

If you like severe, full force cold canings taken voluntarily by brave, strong women, you'll like this.

Psychic Weapon 'C'

Our new film Psychic Weapon 'C' is one for the sci-fi and thriller fans. Those of you who wanted to see a video version of our Interrogation photoset may also enjoy it.

Officer Julia Danby is researching Psychic Weapon 'C', dubbed 'the Cuckoo', a dangerous telepath involved with one of the criminal factions she is investigating. She doesn't yet know how his powers work: specifically, that his ability to violate people's minds and rip information out of an unwilling victim depends on them being in pain. However, she's about to experience this phenomenon first hand.

Tom gives an outstanding performance as the Cuckoo, and I had great fun with Officer Danby's strong, stoic character who fights fear with laughter and holds out at long as she can. It was also lovely to be able to work with two other actors to create a more dynamic, complex scene. This is Ludwig's first appearance on the site, and I think it might also be his first time co-topping with his mate and co-blogger Kaelah in a spanking video.

Kaelah and Ludwig have written a behind-the-scenes report about the shoot. Here's what they have to say about playing a pair of ruthless criminal goons (Ludwig's comments are in bold):

If you are a geek like me, with a love for science fiction / mystery series, you probably already noticed that the scene is inspired by Fringe. I don't usually pay attention to what is on TV, but Fringe is one of the very few TV series I have ever followed. Actually, I had just recently discovered it when Pandora, Kaelah and I were exchanging brainstorming emails about what to do at our upcoming shoot together. So it was kind of funny when Pandora brought up the idea of doing a Fringe-themed clip. Do I know the series, she asked? Absolutely, and I was all excited about the prospect. Kaelah did not know Fringe, but she liked the idea of playing a goon-type character, and she had other, no less fitting associations in mind...

When Pandora told us about the storyline, the first thing that came to my mind were some pictures inspired by Men in Black. Three dark figures, appearing from nowhere, doing their job swiftly and without any mercy, before finally disappearing into the shadows as quickly as they had turned up. The only possible problem which I told Ludwig the evening before the shoot was: "Don't you think it's a bit weird that the two of us as Germans are supposed to play cruel goons who assault a British investigator?" - "We are not Germans, we are just some goons", Ludwig answered, "and this is not an idea to make fun of."

The next day, Tom came up with a suggestion: "How about you two guys speaking German? Different languages make the scene more interesting and edgy, because this way Pandora's character won't be able to understand what her captors are talking about." I laid back and waited for Ludwig to reply. And he did: "Great idea! It also looks much more like a big international conspiracy then." As you can imagine, I was mildly irritated by this reply, okay, actually I was completely stunned. Ludwig grinned and told me that he found the idea much better now, since it had been Tom's suggestion this time. With a boyfriend like that you really don't need any enemies. Joking aside, actually I think that Ludwig was really attracted by this international thing, especially because Tom as our leader was supposed to be a native speaker of English who nonetheless instructed his goons in German.

When Tom came up with his suggestion, I liked the idea that the three of us - Tom, Kaelah and me - would be communicating in German. Not only would it add to the confusion for Pandora's character, it also instantly, and in a simple yet effective way, created the notion of a menacing, international conspiracy. Here is Pandora's character, getting assaulted by three figures. The leader is obviously an Englishman, but he has two German henchmen with him. In the context of a Fringe-inspired scene, I find that a lot more interesting than three assailants with the same background.

We did some rehearsals of the scene beforehand, so that everyone would know where to stand and what to do during the actual shoot. Pandora, who had just directed my severe caning which we had filmed earlier that day, found out that it was really challenging to switch from director mode into bottom mode, especially given the edginess of the scene. She asked for a short break after a little misunderstanding between Ludwig and her, in order to get into the right mindset for the scene. When we continued, we decided that it was better to do the scene a bit less rough than we had initially planned to make sure that Pandora had a chance to get into the scene step by step. Since this was the first time for me to top anyone else than Ludwig, I probably was a bit over-cautious from that point on. I definitely didn't want to give Pandora any negative experience, so I was always a bit hesitant and only shifted up a gear when I felt that Pandora was ready for it.

Before we started, Pandora told me that she wanted the initial struggle with Kaelah and me to be "really physical". What I missed, however, was her request to merely simulate the struggle while we were practicing the scene ahead of the filming. Among all the other stuff we were talking about, that detail escaped my attention. So, during the practice run, I already handled Pandora in a rather physical way, at a time when she was not expecting it yet. I felt sorry for the misunderstanding and apologised to Pandora, but she said no hard feelings, these things can happen. The downside of it all was that, once we got around to actually filming the scene, Kaelah and I were probably a bit over-cautious. It is difficult to find exactly the right spot between being too brutal and too fake in a physical struggle, especially when playing / filming with someone for only the second or third time.

My headspace during the filming itself was ambiguous as well, in a very fascinating way. One part of me was focussed on getting everything right for the camera and making sure that Pandora was safe and feeling okay. The other part, though, very much enjoyed the freedom of being someone who obeyed orders without scruple, not bothered with any hindering emotions. I was just doing my job, swiftly and efficiently. Hey, I didn't even have a name! When we had discussed about the languages, I had already realised that I didn't have much intention to talk at all. And that's exactly how it was during the scene. The mindset of silently following orders proved to be a very peaceful one. Maybe because it was so different from my normal being (and definitely something I wouldn't want to do for real). But knowing that in reality this was Pandora's fantasy and that there was another part of me which constantly watched for her well-being, experimenting with silence and lack of emotion was indeed a very fascinating and strangely liberating experience.

I'd actually forgotten about my difficulty during the rehearsal of the opening sequence. I'd spent the morning directing and shooting a big two person scene with Kaelah and Ludwig, and this was my first scene bottoming that day. Tom was directing this scene, but I'd written the shooting script and was so closely engaged with the logistics that I was still very much in a directing headspace. During the run-through, I hadn't quite psyched myself up yet for a proper struggle and it made me spin a bit.

After that, and knowing how difficult I've found it to take CP on previous shoots where I was directing and bottoming at the same time, I wasn't quite sure how I'd react when the spanking started. We agreed to start over clothes to take the edge off - it made sense within the scene, which has no sexual overtone. In the event, by the time we got that far I was so thoroughly in character that I was able to take it without any trouble. Playing someone who is angry and determined not to show weakness always raises my pain threshold. In fact, once we got there I could have taken significantly more, but Tom and I were so focused in the interaction between our characters that neither of us gave Kaelah and Ludwig the explicit reassurance they needed to go as hard and fast as we could have.

Don't get me wrong, it was still pretty hard - Kaelah found her rhythm with the paddle and the big black cane is so heavy it doesn't need much to make an impact. To be honest, for me, the hotness of this scene comes from the psychological interaction anyway; the CP is necessary set-dressing, but not the main focus.

Here's what Tom has to say about this scene:

'Psychic Weapon C' was a very interesting scenario to shoot, because while I was definitely the top in the scene, I was not the punisher ("I have people who do that for me.") This was both a simplifying and a complicating factor, as it freed me up to concentrate on the character portrayal while also placing me at one remove from the control of power and pace that I am used to in the actual punishments.

It was quite useful to be able to streamline my attention; the character portrayal fell entirely outside the relatively simple authority figures I am called upon to deliver in most spanking scenarios. Developing, in fifteen minutes of screen time, a character who is clearly a villain, but is not a simple bad guy, and portraying a telepath without access to any post-production enhancements was enjoyably difficult. In constructing the Cuckoo I drew on several sources, both literary and cinematic, including a particularly strong performance from Quentin Tarantino in the mid-season double episode of Alias Season 1.

The key to what I wanted from the Cuckoo was the menace of the professional interrogator textured by the implication of inner demons; that he has channeled a truly overwhelming and terrifying talent into a strictly controlled form. He is, in the simplest sense, a mind-rapist, but as a person (rather than as an operative) he is cultured, courteous, and clings on tightly to his self-image as a professional even when faced with his own addiction to the pain of others.

The sense of rising menace comes across well in the final cut, enhanced by Pandora's excellent complementary performance as Officer Danby. It was thoroughly enjoyable to be able to over-master a character who was fighting every step of the way, rather than ultimately submitting a legitimate authority. It was also interesting to direct and control the punishment sequences with hand-gestures and German dialogue learned on the spot; adding the dimension of communications between the antagonists being in a language foreign to the protagonist was a challenging but rewarding technique.

The end result is emotionally intense and unusually dark, with the courageous victim ultimately losing to a dominating force who is clearly evil, but ambiguously sympathetic.

I'd never really conceived of telepathic ravishment before, but it turns out I love it. Drama, conflict, tension, psychological violence - perfect! I also really really love being caned while angry - that is, while playing a character who is angry. I maintained an angry, resisting emotional state throughout my hard prison caning with Pain4Fem, and although it didn't make it hurt any less it proved a great defence against panic. There's something exhilirating about being beaten in a state of righteous fury: almost as if every impact fuels your inner strength. And being pinned down and having my wrists bound with a ziplock tie works for me just fine.

View all content tagged 'Ludwig'

View all scenes »