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The centre of attention

Kelley May spanks Becci Belacqua at Dreams of Spanking

Kinky people talk about headspaces a lot. It’s the word we’ve come to use to describe someone’s frame of mind as they play: are you taking a sadistic pleasure in your partner’s kicks and gasps, or trying to coax them into a state of genuine euphoria? Are you offering up control to a dominant presence you’re aching to serve, or do you want them to take it from you in a battle of wills? There are as many headspaces as there are fantasies, of course, and every set of play partners has its own dynamic.

One of the core truths of healthy, consensual BDSM is that the exchange of power is more complex than it seems at first glance. Ostensibly one party is in control and the other has surrendered it - but in truth the experience is collaborative, and the submissive partner is usually the real centre of a scene. The deeper into your headspaces you are, the more real your fantastical scenario becomes.

Kelley May kisses Stephen Lewis as Becci Belacqua watches at Dreams of Spanking

Becci’s character in this week’s film is a perfect example of that collaborative creation of a dynamic and a space. The whole surprise was their idea: they suggested to Stephen that he bring them into date night as a present for his partner, and throughout they're clearly very into the story the three of them are telling. They've chosen a state of mind in which they deeply wants to please them both, and the submission they're exploring is of the eager, adoring sort.

In real-life play that’s one of my favourite headspaces to be in, so it’s exciting to see it depicted on camera. Kelley and Stephen - who are an offscreen couple as well as frequent co-stars - nurture it beautifully, strict and sensuous by turns with a wicked gleam in their eyes at their more sadistic moments. And Becci - who is the true centre of attention here - has been an excellent surprise for them both.

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