It’s almost always a shame to take sex too seriously. Let’s face it, fucking is kind of an inherently ridiculous thing to do: it’s messy, it’s often unflattering, it’s practically inevitable that someone will get a painful cramp at an inopportune moment. The ability to laugh with our sexual partners is what makes all these things okay, and it can be a bonding experience in and of itself.
So sometimes I think porn could do with a bit more humour. Not all the time, of course - we all love our severe, headspacey scenes too - but why shouldn’t porn sometimes be funny? Life is funny. Sex is often funny. If porn is an art form in its own right (and I believe that it is, or can be) there’s no reason it shouldn’t imitate life in all its ridiculous glory.
A Spot Of Bother is a male/male bare bottom spanking film in a historical setting. It is also, at times, genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. It’s a sort of Jeeves & Wooster (or perhaps Holmes & Watson) period pastiche, a queer trans sendup with a sense of humour as uniquely British as caning itself. “They insulted the Queen, I suppose?”, asks Blake at one point, trying to work out what has caused his dutiful manservant to act with such uncharacteristic impulsivity. You can see the twitch of Charlie’s lips trying to keep a straight face as he replies: “In a manner of speaking, sir.”
This is a guest director film, produced and edited by Charlie Forrest himself. He clearly had as much fun with the editing as he and Blake with the ad libbing. The result is a rollicking gay spanking film with some jolly good jokes. That doesn’t take away from the hard caning we all love to see here; in my opinion, it adds to it. This scene is as well-rounded as Charlie's bottom, and there’s no denying that Blake makes a fabulous queen.
Lockdown wasn’t a fallow period for us here at Dreams of Spanking - quite the opposite! No childcare meant I didn't have much time to do things myself, which made this the perfect moment to bring on new team members. We’ve got three newbies in the Dreams of Spanking family: DJ has joined us as our marketing lead, Sally is now helping out with the web development side, and Abi is our new writer assisting with scene copy and blog posts. Including this one, actually. (Well, this just got a bit meta, didn’t it? Who needs a fourth wall anyway. -Ed.) I record garbled dictation files with a baby on one arm, and she turns them into nice sentences for me. Thanks Abi!
Expanding the team has been an interesting experience, because for the first time I’m documenting some of the processes that for the past ten years have only existed in my head. It’s been a great reminder that there’s actually quite a lot to this porn-making thing. A surprising amount of skill, effort and expertise goes into creating the content you all enjoy! And writing down our methodologies is a great investment in the future, making it easier for me to delegate while keeping the quality of the work to the standard you've come to expect.
So what have we all been working on? Further to our April post about changes to the site, there’s some new stuff to tell you about...
A shiny new join page!
One big thing we’ve changed recently is our join page. it’s now easier for prospective members to see what you'll get with your membership, and we’ve streamlined the signup process too. There are now just two quick web forms to fill in: one here on the website to create your account, and another on CCBill to pay. You won’t need to duplicate information between those two forms, and you can do the whole thing in one go. DJ worked his magic on the page, which now looks much nicer and pleases my aesthetic heart.
This has also given me a chance to finally reinstate MasterCard payments. I cancelled our MasterCard merchant subscription when the site was dormant, as CCBill charges $500 a year to receive MasterCard, meaning we need at least 30 members per year who can only pay with MasterCard to make it worthwhile. Now that our update schedule has stabilised and membership is growing, I thought it was time we gave you back that option. If you’ve been holding off on buying a membership because you only use MasterCard, now’s your chance!
Better mailing list software!
We've transitioning our mailing list management to SendGrid rather than handling it in-house. This upgrade gives us access to lots of new shiny features and analytics, with more flexibility to schedule emails and keep track of what's been sent, making it easier than ever for us to send you enticing spanking content. Among other things, this has enabled us to create a new opt-in: you can now sign up for free weekly spanking pics direct to your inbox, a hand-picked selection showcasing hot kinky moments you may not have seen before. It’s a great addition to our existing list, which is still the easiest way to stay abreast of all our new content as soon as it goes out. You can join either or both of these lists here. We've also created an option for new members to sign up for either or both lists when you create your account, so it's easier than ever (though still completely optional, of course).
Incidentally, if you have any feedback on either our mailing list setup or on the new join page we’d love to hear it: do they make you want to sign up? Is there anything else you’d like to see? Does it all make sense to you? Let us know in the comments on this post.
An improved update schedule!
We’ve committed to a new update schedule - and in fact we’ve been maintaining it steadily for a few months now. You’ll be getting brand new spanking content on the second and fourth Saturday of every month from here on out - so put that in your diaries! At least one of these updates will always be a video with an image gallery. The other might be a new video, but it could also be a photostory or an audio story. This gives us the best chance to showcase what our fantastic performers can do, and caters well to the tastes and preferences of our membership.
It's still uncertain when it’ll feel safe to shoot new partner scenes again - I’m thinking about options to reduce risk like pre-shoot testing, infrared thermometers and scenes featuring masks. Never fear, however: we’ve got porn! I've got plenty of content in the can that's yet to be posted, and we’re building relationships with performers who shoot at home. Many of these will be solo, but there are also scene partners and real-life couples sharing pods. We're partnering with some wonderful content creators, so watch this space for details! We’ve always been big fans of performer-created porn, and the whole industry has been in the same boat. We've seen a real growth in DIY porn this year, which is all to the good. We're dedicated to keeping to our schedule and bringing you the good stuff.
It’s wonderful to be collaborating with new team members behind the camera and new performers in front of it. I’m really looking forward to keeping the site growing and reaching new audiences in 2020 and beyond.
For a lot of us, kinks and fetishes of all kinds have their origin stories way back in childhood. It’s pretty common to be aroused throughout our lives by whatever was around during our earliest experiences of our own internal sexuality, or by something that for whatever reason our childhoods rendered taboo (and therefore exciting). One explanation for why so many people find school uniforms arousing makes sense in this context - after all, a lot of the first people we ever fancied were wearing them at the time!
This is probably how spanking got a reputation for being a British vice. In reality it’s probably no more common here than it is anywhere else in the world, but we invented the classic public school system - the overly formal uniforms, the hierarchical culture where pupils were punished as much by other pupils as they were by school staff, the focus on canes and birches and punishment books to correct wrongdoers. It’s not as much a thing of the past as one might imagine, either: corporal punishment wasn’t banned in British state schools till 1986, and it was 1998 before public schools fully abolished the practice. There are people who were spanked or caned in British schools who are now still in their 20s and 30s.
That group no longer contains most of us, of course; I certainly wasn’t caned at my inner city comprehensive in the early 2000s. It’s difficult to apply any of the old-fashioned ideas about British schooling to my experience, really, barring perhaps the uniform - which I found a thousand different ways to personalise and cheat! So what’s my excuse?
I think some of it might come down to a sort of national nostalgia, often rather rose-tinted. I sat in my so-called “rough” state comp, with its creaky 60s prefab buildings and its somewhat humiliating OFSTED reports, reading boarding school stories and coming of age novels set in some distant but unmistakably British past.
Our latest film, ‘A Visit to the Schoolmaster’, is playing on exactly this kind of nostalgic looking back to a past we were never quite a part of. Pandora has had a thing for public school canings since before she can remember, so she’s thrilled to have a chance to meet a real boarding school master - particularly when he turns out to still have his punishment book and his slender, biting canes. We’re told this tale while she’s dressed in full school uniform, smirking cheekily into the camera, the kind of gleam in her eyes that will get you a long detention.
But who wouldn’t want a long detention, if they got to share it with her?