The adage, ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’ came to mind for me while watching He Wouldn’t Spank Me because I absolutely relate to the plight of needing a sound spanking and not having someone to give it to me. Pandora’s monologue that opens the video plays out as a tell-all of a dud of a weekend with an underwhelming spanko. Where he has failed, Pandora ultimately triumphs by administering an impressive self-spanking, complete with hairbrush and wooden ruler to round out the variety of sensations, sounds and marks.
I myself have self-spanked on many occasions when feeling dire and desirous of that certain sort of sting, when nothing else will do, when simply touching and thinking are not enough. I personally enjoy it and find it very different than being spanked by a partner. It’s a bit of a mind fuck to strike yourself in pleasure, more so even than being struck by someone else. I suppose it’s the dual sensation of one’s bottom warming and burning with each strike, in combination with one’s hand getting more and more fatigued.
Here are 5 things to consider if you want to try a successful self-spanking:
Nothing is less sexy than getting interrupted or having to stop playing because you don’t have the right toys or tools at hand. If you’re experimenting with self-spanking, plan ahead so that you have the privacy (if desired) and comfort, as well as implements, that you want and need.
If you’re new to self-spanking, consider it like any other private pleasure activity: it will be better if you’re good and ready for it. Do whatever you need to get in the mood, whether that’s watching hot spanking porn like He Wouldn’t Spank Me, or any of your other favourite Dreams of Spanking pieces, a sensual bubble bath, or getting turned on with your favourite toy(s).
Take it slow
A good spanking requires some warm up, so start with small swats and taps on top of underpants or light pajamas, playing with the speed, intensity and frequency. It’s not a race, and you needn’t have a goal in mind, simply try different things and pay attention to how everything feels. Once your skin is warm to the touch, try again on bare skin.
Variety is the spice of spanking
There are so many options with spanking: under or over clothes, barehanded or with implements, hard and punishing or soft and sensual. Barehanded, with a ruler or hairbrush, like Pandora used in He Wouldn’t Spank Me or a light shoe or slipper are great household items to try. Self-spanking is a great way to explore what excites you about spanking but stick to the meaty spots like thighs and buttocks. Avoid bony places like ribs and joints, your lower back and kidneys and your spine. Self-spanking is not for everyone, so if you try it and it’s not quite right for you, that’s okay too!
After Care is Self Care
Impact play, even if it wasn’t too physically taxing, should be followed up by after care, and if you’re self-spanking that means taking time to cool down and rest a bit when you’re finished. Cool compresses and lotion can be very soothing to spanked bottoms and a cup of tea or other warm drink can help you relax and unwind.
Although entirely different, without the ritualised connection of someone else spanking you, self-spanking can be a wonderful way to experiment with your limits in spanking, both giving and receiving. Much like masturbation can help us learn about our body’s pleasure at our own pace, self-spanking can be a great way to safely learn what about spanking you like or need. As with any pain or physical play, start small and work your way up to a pleasurable level of intensity, respecting your limits and playing within them.