This two-part historical spanking story features Molly Malone and Alexander Knight as two young, trembling, nervous evacuees. Sent away from the city of London to safety during the Blitz, they've obviously heard some horror stories about what might await them - you can practically hear their knees knocking as they warily approach the front door of the big country house that is to be their new home.
As it happens they're right to worry, because they find themselves cast on the mercy of the tremendously strict Dr Richard Barton. I love Richard's style as a top – it works so well in teacher/student scenes, old-fashioned Victorian punishment scenes, and much more. He's so incredibly precise in his speech and movements; carefully smoothing his clothes as he sits down to take Molly over his knee for a spanking, and enunciating every single word with clear gravitas, making sure that she knows exactly what she's in for.
The moment in part two when he turns to her and pronounces “as for you, young lady...” is still making me squirm in my seat.
Part one of this story is as much about the tingling build up as the punishment itself.
I'm a huge fan of the simple and beautiful way that guys who top often roll their sleeves up before a spanking, and Dr Barton chooses his moment in this film with devastating precision. Alexander is already quaking in his boots - never having been spanked and having been forced to watch Molly endure a hard hand spanking. He trips over himself to apologise before Dr Barton has even told him off, clearly terrified and not wanting to make things any worse than they already are. He is shaking and breathing hard when he has to lower himself over the knee, and Dr Barton seems to take a particular pleasure in prolonguing his agony, taking the time to carefully unbutton his shirt and roll up to his sleeve in preparation for the spanking to come.
The anticipation is delicious. Throughout the opening sequences of this film I found myself latching on to every warning, every nervous 'yes sir', and every calm order from Richard Barton, just waiting for the moment when he'd express displeasure.
When it comes, it's more compelling because it's clearly the first time either Molly or Alexander's character has been spanked. Their shock at the stinging pain of a bare bottom spanking is expressed in gasps and squeals, and is utterly riveting. It's not surprising that Alexander's reactions should be intense, because in real life this was his first ever spanking film, and the first time he had submitted to a proper punishment spanking in the old-fashioned style. Watching this film I felt very sorry for him - he clearly struggled to take Dr Barton's stinging hand spanks, and his shocked face is almost as red as his bottom.
In part two, the story picks up exactly where it left off in the previous scene: Molly's red bottom bared to highlight her humiliation, and both of the evacuees facing the wall while Dr Barton contemplates their next punishment.
I have to admit to some more bias here, which is that I absolutely love the leather strap. Dr Barton brandishes it with relish, clearly enjoying the effect the sight of the long leather implement is having on his young charges. He orders Molly and Alexander to bend over opposite arms of the sofa, bottoms bared and faces screwed up in fear as they wait for the first smacks to fall. Molly tries to console her little brother, clasping his hands and whispering that everything is going to be alright.
Again, the build up of tension is key to what works in this scene – I was itching with anticipation as Richard strode around the sofa, berating his charges for their poor behaviour. When the strap inevitably falls, with a loud whack onto Molly's bare bottom, she squeals in agony - making Alexander jump in terror, and his heart pound even harder.
Part two sees a solid strapping for Molly, and the gorgeous image of the evacuee brother and sister comforting each other and trying to steel themselves to endure the punishment. Richard is his usual stoic, professional self, giving an impression of a strict headmaster so perfect that it almost exactly matches the kind of aloof disciplinarian who sometimes punishes me in my fantasies. Molly and Alexander play the trembling schoolgirl and schoolboy to perfection. 'The Evacuees' is one of those timeless spanking scenarios which is always a treat to see played out on video, and I suspect this film will be popular with traditional spanking fans for a long time to come.
If you’ve read Pandora’s updates from the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, you’ll already know a bit about Zahra Stardust. Sexual activist, champion pole dancer, and scorchingly hot porn star, Zahra’s been making waves all across the world. This year, she won ‘Heart Throb of the Year’ at the Feminist Porn Awards (very shortly after this shooting this scene, in fact!) and it’s clearly well deserved, because having been introduced to her through this orgasmic spanking film I have a massive crush on her myself.
Zahra Stardust is utterly gorgeous, with beautiful piercings, tattoos, hot pink hair and a delightfully filthy grin - dressed in sheer knickers and a pink latex microskirt, I can see why Pandora was so excited to take her over the knee.
She's not just a pretty face, but an exceptional activist too - she’s run for parliament three times in her home country of Australia, and is currently doing a PhD on pornography.
Zahra's mission is to change the world, one orgasm at a time. Through artistic porn depicting authentic queer sexuality and female pleasure, her work celebrates consent, bruises and bodily fluids, and self-deterministic representation. And in this spanking video, with a firm helping hand from Pandora, some slow and hard strokes with the strap, and her Hitachi Magic Wand, she does just that.
I think one of the things I love most about Zahra is that when you watch her you get these amazing hot kicks of lust at each moment when she expresses pleasure. She’s never stoic or silent: she gasps and sighs with arousal, gripping the pillows tightly as the strap bites into her flesh, with blissful smiles and happy moans when she’s being pleasured in just the right way.
This scene isn’t just a spanking (although of course there are plenty of opportunities to admire Zahra’s gorgeous bum as she gets spanked through sheer knickers and in just a tantalising pearl thong), it’s the build-up to an explicit and delicious orgasm. We get to watch Pandora squeeze and touch Zahra all over, see what she loves and how she reacts to the spanking sensations she was so curious about. And for those who - like me - enjoy a bit of consensual choking and breath play, the climax to Spanking Zahra Stardust is off the end of the hotness scale.
I wrote recently about the uncertainties of running a porn site during the holiday season - not knowing whether or not you, our lovely viewers, will be here on any given week, ready and waiting to watch our latest update, or whether you're all off having fun in foreign climes. The truth is that it's not only your absence that affects things over the summer months. Running a spanking website is hard work at the best of times - it's even harder when the director goes on holiday.
I went away for a week at the end of July, and if I hadn't had AJ and Girl on the Net in London to hold the fort, things would have fallen apart. I edited and uploaded the week's film (The Evacuees - Part 2) before I left, but it was Girl on the Net who wrote the scene blurb and the blogpost, AJ who kept on top of email and tech support requests and posts pictures on Fetlife and Tumblr, and both ladies took turns managing the Twitter account.
In fact if they hadn't been around, there wouldn't have been an update that week. On Saturday, two days before I was due to come home, I got a call from AJ to tell me that the server was down. It was terrible timing - our new scene goes live at the weekend and Saturday is usually our best day for new sign-ups. Instead, the server was down for 8 hours during the middle of the day. Not only could users not log on, neither could AJ, so the new scene hadn't even gone live yet. It was AJ who posted updates on social media until the site was up and running again - and AJ who logged in straight-away and pushed the new film live. I really am very lucky to have a team who care so much about the site that they're willing to work weekends and take the initiative in an emergency.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm going away again til Monday, and once more I'm relying on the Dreams of Spanking ladies to keep things ticking over in the meantime. It's good for me to take some time off (those of you who know me will know how rare this is!) but it's good to know that my baby will be in safe hands.
The downside of going away is that I have to rush to get everything done before I leave. That's why I'm typing this at 2am, while waiting for an audio effect to process on this week's forthcoming spanking film. I've done the multicamera edit, nailed the music (if I do say so myself), and am just tidying up the audio. Next it's colour grading, digital zooms, frame cropping and other finishing touches - and I still have to make the trailer and pack for my long weekend before my friends come to pick me up tomorrow lunchtime. Somehow I don't think I'm going to get much sleep tonight.
Still, it'll all be worth it in the end - I'm looking forward to a wonderful four days away, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you make of this week's scene when I get back. It's from our location shoot with Leia-Ann Woods last year and is a dark, sinister vignette which implies, but doesn't show, a longer dominance and submission narrative. This is one of the scripts I wrote before the site even existed, and it's a pleasure to bring it to life.
I think the finished film is going to be just as atmospheric as I imagined - if I get it done in time. My audio's finished processing now, so I'm going to get stuck back in. In the meantime, I'll leave you with an exclusive preview photo...
I know you haven't heard from me for a while, but it's been a long hot summer already, with all the Dreams of Spanking ladies flitting around like dirty little butterflies; Pandora's been up and down the country sampling the delights of the countryside in between mad bouts of video editing and volunteering; Girl on the Net has been firing off some amazing copy for us, and keeping sales afloat during the admittedly difficult summer months; and I've been desperately trying to keep up with tumblr and fetlife, while juggling a whole gamut of interesting life events. It's been amazing though, I've done some editing I'm really proud of (keep your eyes peeled for today's update, Day Ten of her Training, a classy vintage domestic discipline scene featuring Leia-Ann Woods and Thomas Cameron), and I no longer remember what it was like before I was working with so many talented and fascinating people every day!
Tuesday just gone presented itself with the rarest of opportunities - Pandora, her partner D, Girl on the Net, myself and my partner were all in town and without plans! Grabbing the chances with all ten hands, we headed off to a quirky little pub in Borough to eat pie, drink beer, and set the world to rights. We quickly occupied an upstairs room, and covered a great many salacious topics, including (but not limited to):
The depth and breadth of the discourse ensured that we always had the room to ourselves, which I'm calling a win.
However, socialising wasn't our main aim for this meetup. We ultimately got together so that Pandora could give Girl and I our super shiny new business cards! I don't know about GotN, but I have never had a proper business card, let alone one that included the word "manager", so this was a big deal for me. We were both so chuffed with them that we posted them on twitter the next day. I mean seriously, what is there not to love about business cards with bottoms on them?
Aren't they great? I can't wait to start handing them out to people.
I hope you've enjoyed this wee glimpse into some of the fun stuff that goes on in the staging area. It was excellent to catch up in person and we're feeling a lot more refreshed as we go into the last few weeks of summer. There's some fantastic material coming up and, well... you're gonna love it!
A while ago Pandora and I were discussing the best positions for caning. She told me that one position is usually the most popular among Dreams of Spanking viewers: "bend over and touch your toes.'
Whether it's the view of someone's bottom, vulnerable and exposed, or the feeling of your own bum stretched tight and waiting for the crack of the cane, somehow there's something about this particular position that's incredibly arousing.
If you're one for whom the phrase 'bend over and touch your toes' sends filthy-hot shivers down your spine, you'll probably be a fan of our latest spanking film. Leia-Ann Woods plays a submissive secretary being trained by her cruel boss Thomas Cameron. She has been with him for over a week already - and is doing her best to remain obedient under the stress of his exacting regime.
He begins each day with an intrusive inspection, running his hands all over her, and examining the way she is wearing her tight-laced corset, tight pencil skirt, fully fashioned stockings and suspenders – a very traditional and deeply hot uniform for a BDSM submissive secretary.
As you'd expect, Mr Cameron is keen to find fault with poor Leia. She is subjected to twelve strokes every morning as a matter of course, simply to keep her on her toes - or touching them. Today, he finds six reasons to add additional strokes to her regular morning punishment, taking the total to an eye-watering eighteen. Leia tries not to show her fear as he tells her to assume the position for the cane.
Personally, I struggle with the touching-toes position. I love the feeling of vulnerability that it brings, being so exposed and so reliant on my own self-discipline - using my own strength of body and mind to hold the position so I don't topple over. But then the strokes fall, one after the other, and I wobble, and tense up, and grit my teeth, and it becomes harder and harder not to break position.
Touching my toes seems easy when I first do it, but as the pain accumulates and the heat and sting of the welts layering across my upturned bottom grow stronger, my muscles start to tremble and I worry that I'll either fall forward or – worse – involuntarily straighten up and earn myself extra strokes.
It's much easier if you're told to bend over a desk, the back of a chair, or even lie face-down on the bed to receive a beating. But then - as Leia-Ann's determined poise and Thomas Cameron's calm perfectionism show - a thorough caning isn't about what's easy, is it? It's about punishment.
I find it difficult to stay in position touching my toes at the best of times. Wearing a tightly laced corset, hobble skirt and high stiletto heels like Leia-Ann in this film, I would find it nearly impossible. Leia is justly famed among spanking fans for her grace and elegance, whether she is administering a thrashing or receiving one. But if you want to know just how poised she can be, even through the stress of eighteen searing cane strokes, watch Day Ten of her Training and find out.
While I was away recently I got a call from AJ. It was the afternoon of Saturday 2nd August and I was at a festival. My phone had run out of charge, and she'd called several of the people she knew I was with before she reached me.
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the server's down."
I talked her through the social media response while D tried to securely connect to the server via his phone to see if he could find out what was going on. The downtime lasted eight hours in the end. Bad timing - a lot of people want to watch porn on Saturday night.
The problem was not at our end - something went wrong for our hosting provider. I've heard some rather juicy rumours about exactly what caused the initial problem - and they didn't send us a clear explanation, even after things were back up and running, which rather inclines me to wonder if the rumours are correct, and they're too embarrassed to admit it. What they did say in statements was that "the connectivity break was on a third-party network 12km outside of London", and that "the failover connection didn't come up because somebody from the backup connectivity company had mistakenly removed a piece of physical hardware that was required for it to do so". Not our fault guv.
The second unscheduled downtime was only ten days later. Again, it was for eight hours, but luckily it fell on a Tuesday this time - a bit less intrusive than at the weekend. I was halfway through mustering some serious indignance that this would happen twice in as many weeks when D forwarded me this memo from our host:
This is an RFO (Reason For Outage) report for the outage that you experienced on Tuesday 12th August 2014.
Start of Incident: 2014-08-12 09:11:00 BST
Incident Resolution: 2014-08-12 17:25:00 BST
Length of incident: 8 hours 14 minutes
Impact to services : Packet loss to and from some internet locations, intermittent complete IP outages lasting up to 20 minutes
Reason for outage: The events of yesterday were caused by reported underlying upstream provider issues that impacted our client base. Of our upstream providers the following reported network incidents yesterday that affected a great number of Internet users across the globe
This wasn't a small scale problem. It wasn't just us - and it wasn't just our hosting provider, either. This was an internet meltdown on a sufficiently large scale that it was covered by The Register.
"Yesterday, 12 August, 2014, the internet hit an arbitrary limit of more than 512,000 routes. This 512K route limit is something we have known about for some time.
The fix for Cisco devices – and possibly others – is fairly straightforward. Internet service providers and businesses around the world chose not to address this issue in advance, as a result causing major outages around the world.
As part of the outage, punters experienced patchy – or even no – internet connectivity and lost access to all sorts of cloud-based services."
In other words, someone misconfigured something and it tipped the global routing tables over the maximum size they can be, so things randomly dropped off everybody's networks. The outages affected different bits in each place, which was why at first nobody could figure out what was going on.
So we're sorry about the downtime. On both occasions, we extended all active memberships by 24 hours in compensation. But it's safe to say that there's absolutely nothing that we could have done about it. This was so far above our heads it was - literally - up in the cloud.
When I think about the sheer scale of the fuck-up I can't help seeing the funny side. There's no point taking it personally. This wasn't just our site, and it wasn't just our server - it was the whole damn internet.
David Weston is not exactly a model student. His school uniform is scruffy, he rolls his eyes when he's in trouble, and he's even cheeky to his strict headmistress – something I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to do.
But in the latest spanking scene, he's been given a choice. Take a two-hour detention, or bend over the headmistress' desk to be spanked with the slipper.
I love David's character in this. In his first video for Dreams of Spanking, he meekly accepted an over-the-knee spanking from his strict governess, but in this school spanking film it's clear he's not going to take the punishment with any degree of humility.
His stern headmistress, Pandora Blake, describes him as a 'delinquent', and as she whacks him with the slipper you can feel that her patience with this unruly pupil has totally run out - and you can even sense a sort of satisfaction at putting him in his place.
As David reluctantly lowers his underwear to be spanked hard with the slipper on his bare bottom, I think he might just be starting to regret his poor behaviour...
But does he regret his decision? Pandora tells him that if he had just gone to his detention, then she wouldn't have to waste her time administering corporal punishment to such an exasperating student.
David is obviously not keen on the idea of being slippered, protesting “You wouldn't, Miss!”
Oh she would. Pandora briskly explains that – at this particular school - corporal punishment hasn't yet gone out of fashion, probably precisely because of students like David who refuse to toe the line.
But despite his surprise that she's willing to bend him over the desk and lay on some stinging whacks with the slipper, I can't help but wonder if David's secretly congratulating himself on making the right choice. Detention, after all, takes a lot of time that could better be spent causing mischief. What would you opt for - two hours of tediously writing lines and being bored beyond words, or a short, sharp shock at the hands of the headmistress? I know which I would choose...
After our shoot with David Weston, Nimue and I headed across Bristol to meet with our next new male spankee - Ron Beastly. It was Ron who had recommended the fantastic studio we were using, as he lived nearby. We got together for dinner and a lovely evening of chatting and getting to know each other. It was clear the three of us had plenty of things in common beyond a mutual interest in making queer, ethical porn, and by the time we settled down for a good night's sleep I couldn't wait get started.
The day kicked off with two scenes for a new porn project Nimue and I are developing. This was our first shoot for the new site, which will be considerably more sexually explicit than Dreams of Spanking. Given Ron had previously done camming and escorting, he wanted to start with the hardcore scenes as being more in his comfort zone than the spanking scenes we had planned. Both scenes went well and were incredibly hot - if the rest of the shoots for the new project go as well then you are in for a real treat! I'll be posting more updates regarding this new hardcore site as things develop.
We also took some introductory photos of Ron for Dreams of Spanking, as we do with all new performers who have never done spanking porn before. He proved himself a natural flirt as he posed for the camera, and gradually revealed his body to show off his bare bottom until he was fully nude.
A furry trans man covered in natural ginger body hair, Ron is wonderfully comfortable in his skin. It's always a pleasure to shoot someone who so clearly enjoys being in front of the camera. I love giving new performers a platform to express themselves and indulge their natural exhibitionism!
At that point I had to make a conscious effort to stop taking pictures, or I would have got distracted taking art nude photos of his lovely furry body, and we would never have got round to the spanking...
Our male top for the day, Seani Love, arrived and we got ready for the first spanking scene.
In addition to their ginger furriness (talk about a great casting for father and son!) Seani and Ron share an interest in the magical, mystical and sacred. We will be exploring various fantastical themes in our shoot tomorrow, including beast play, werewolves, witches and wizards. The scene I'm most looking forward to, however, is the one I know least about. Seani and Ron are both practitioners of dark tantra and conscious kink, and so I will be opening the floor to them for a conscious kink ritual. I have no idea what it will look like, but I'm excited. (May 2014)
The first scene of the day evolved out of conversations with Seani and Ron, and was set in a certain school of witchcraft and wizardry. Ron's porn name, after all, is a play on Ron Weasley, and in this story Nimue played his swotty classmate who was too good at magic for her own good.
The potions master catches Ron sporting a large ginger beard, and upon questioning it transpires that he asked Nimue to cast a spell on him to help him grow facial hair! The spell backfired and Ron found himself with a huge ginger beard and covered in hair all over his body. The two are in big trouble for unauthorised use of magic, and their teacher wastes no time in giving them a firm ticking-off and bending them over the desk in his study for a spanking.
Both Ron and Seani were new to spanking roleplay, but this was a fun and lighthearted scene to warm up with. I also deliberately had Nimue get spanked first, partly to reassure Ron in real life that it wasn't going to be too terrible, and also to give him the chance to watch and see what would be expected of him.
Next I had wanted to cast Seani and Ron in a father/son scene for some over the knee hand spanking (I know how many of you are keen to see more embarrassing male/male OTK!). However, when we talked the scene through we realised that the guys felt too much like equals for the roleplay to feel convincing. Instead I cast them as brothers in a bratty domestic scene with plenty of arguing and talking back.
Ron is a student staying at his big brother's house during the summer, refusing to help out with the chores and spending all his time lazing around in his pants eating snacks and playing games on his phone. Seani lays down the law, but Ron is unimpressed by his brother's authoritative attitude - until Seani pulls him over the knee for a spanking with hand and slipper. This turned into a very entertaining scene, one of my favourites from the day, and really gave Ron the chance to let out his cheeky side!
Then it was time for lunch and a well-deserved break for Ron, who had done four videos already that morning! He really is a born performer, with boundless energy and enthusiasm in front of the camera. We filmed a video interview with Ron and Seani to give them a chance to introduce themselves and plug various projects they are working on, and then it was time for the afternoon - when we had some rather more unusual scenes lined up.
Drawing on Ron and Seani's love of the fantastical, Seani's experience as a kink professional helping men connect with masculine archetypes including the "Beast", and Ron's beast play fetish and self-defined identity as a furry creature, I'd written a scenario which combined all these elements. Seani played a magician who has captured a werewolf and intends to subdue it so he can use its power in a spell. The scene was very physical, with Seani using chains, a collar and lead, tone of voice, touch, punching and a singletail whip to tame the beast. Ron became very immersed in the role, snarling and growling and snapping at Seani. We even had bits of cured meat for Seani to feed the beast and use as rewards!
This scene had an incredible energy and was great fun to shoot, but very tiring, and afterwards as Ron came back into his body and his day-to-day identity he needed lots of cuddles and aftercare. I made sure he was well fed and snuggled up on the sofa to provide some much-needed strokes after being a poor mistreated beast. He even requested an out-of-character pleasure spanking from me, to help put him back into a good headspace. Well, it's a hard life, but someone's got to do it!
Finally, intrigued by the fact that both Seani and Ron are conscious kink practitioners, I gave them the floor to construct a ritual to do whatever they wanted. We talked long and hard beforehand about what to incorporate, and eventually the idea crystallised to have a ceremony honouring Ron and Seani's first professional porn shoot, integrating all the disparate elements of the day into a single scene. They centred the rite around the phrase "Solve et Coagula", which means to take apart and put back together.
This was a fascinating experience for me and Nimue behind the camera. I have been involved in rituals before and even led my own erotic magic rites as part of spanking scenes, but I had never tried to capture one on camera before. I wanted it to be as real as possible, without artifice, and I also wanted to try and break down the barrier between "performer" and "camera operator" and include all of us in the ritual space, both behind and in front of the camera.
So when Seani and Ron created the ritual container, they included me and Nimue, cameras in hand, inside the space. Cameras and camera operators were part of the rite. We broke the fourth wall and shamelessly got into each other's shots. The cameras - the fact of filming it - are part of this scene just as much as the performers. This also made it easier to get some intimate close-ups without worrying about catching each other in shot or "crossing the line". There was no line.
I had zero expectations or plans for this scene and gave the boys carte blanche to do whatever felt right to them. The resulting scene involved lots of tantric breath, impact play, ecstatic laughter and Ron begging to be hit harder, until he was flying on endorphins. That was the "breaking apart". Then Seani used rope to pull him back into his body and bring everything back together. Nimue and I held space while Seani tied him, and then we sat together with hands touching Ron, stroking him as he re-grounded and re-integrated. It was an amazing, intimate experience and a first for me as a director in many ways.
It is thrilling to continue expanding my horizons, taking the lead from the incredible performers I am so lucky to work with, and providing a space for them to express their kinks, their personalities and their sexualities on camera. Sometimes it leads to places I would never have expected, and that is so much more exciting for me than when everything follows the script I've written. I was humbled to work with Seani and Ron, and very grateful to them for putting so much creativity and energy into the shoot. I can't wait to share their scenes with the world!
You can read Ron's write up of this shoot on his personal blog here. His introductory photoset went live on the site this morning, and the spanking scenes will be published over the next few months. In the meantime, if you can't wait to see more, you can watch Ron's self-published solo scenes at his clips4sale store, and follow their adventures at their websites, Ron Beastly and Seani Love.
It was my second date with Molly Malone, and I was late. An hour late. I couldn't phone or text to let her know I was on my way, because I'd lost my phone coming home from my US trip earlier in the month, and didn't have a new one yet. So she sat in the pub for an hour, not knowing if I was coming, wondering what sort of headgame I might be playing, while I dashed across London cursing and kicking myself for not having any way of contacting her.
When I finally arrived I was hugely apologetic, but understandably she was pretty upset. I knew how she felt; I'd been the one left waiting in her position before, and it was no fun at all. I'd been really looking forward to seeing her, and now it looked like I'd ruined the evening before it had begun.
I groveled and promised to spoil her rotten to make it up for it, but I'd cocked up big time - and might have messed up this brand new, exciting connection before it even got started. What if she didn't want to see me again?
I don't remember which of us first suggested corporal punishment as a possible way to resolve the situation. Thinking back, I'm hugely grateful that she was willing to offer me the option - a way out, the opportunity for catharsis, forgiveness. We agreed that twelve cold cane strokes would be a fair tally. I bent over the back of the sofa for them. It had been a long time since I felt as if I genuinely deserved, and needed, a punishment.
This wasn't domestic discipline within a pre-negotiated dom/sub relationship. It was spur of the moment crisis management. But it was invaluable. It did exactly what we'd hoped it would: cleared the air, rekindled intimacy and affection, restored our sense of humour. Molly felt miles better after giving me a thorough beating for wasting her time and leaving her hanging. And knowing I'd paid fair and square for my poor behaviour, so did I.
When I invited her to shoot with Dreams of Spanking a month later, we needed a storyline for a simple domestic F/F scene with me on the receiving end. We decided to keep it real and re-enact my punishment from a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, since I needed to not be marked afterwards, we couldn't re-enact the caning - so we made it a hard hand spanking instead. And trust me, Molly has a strong right arm - this was hard.
Watching and editing this video was poignant for me. I'm sad to say that this wasn't the last time I cocked up and hurt Molly with selfish, careless behaviour. This wasn't the worst, either. The incident that broke us up, only a few weeks later, was far worse than being late for a date, and not one that could be healed with cathartic punishment spanking. I did something really bad, and it was a huge learning experience for me in taking responsibility for my behaviour. Molly has accepted my apologies and we're friends again now, but watching this video was bittersweet. I can't help feeling that I was nowhere near contrite enough in the roleplay, and that she was nowhere near severe enough with me - but perhaps that's just residual guilt talking.
Sharing your real life love affairs, discipline dynamics and relationships in porn can be great fun and hugely fulfilling, and it gives me the chance to express myself through art, without artifice. But it can be painful as well as pleasurable. That's the price you pay.
This is a very real, very personal expression of a bittersweet moment in a short relationship that left a lasting impression. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to watch it without a sense of regret. There are some things spanking can't heal - but for the day-to-day hurts and hiccups, it can be surprisingly powerful. This film is the true story of how consensual discipline can create positive change, a way out of a tricky emotional situation, redemption and healing. As spanking videos go, it doesn't get much more real than this.