While I was staying in Toronto I managed to squeeze in two more shoots for Dreams of Spanking.
The first I had planned in advance with Ms Naughty, the owner of Bright Desire. After shooting together for Zahra the day before, we got together on Friday morning for a solo shoot which will be published on both sites. Ms Naughty was already coming down with a nasty flu bug, but her professionalism shone through as she refused to let this get in the way of our plans.
Trying to think of a solo scene that would fit with the themes of both sites was interesting. Ms Naughty shoots sensual, steamy hardcore and so the scene needed to include an orgasm. I considered a masturbation scene with a voiceover describing some of my filthiest spanking fantasies, but I didn't want to repeat My Inner Little Girl too much. I also find scenes with voiceovers hard to follow as a viewer - I find I can concentrate on the words, or the visuals, but not both at once.
In the end I decided to do something different, and use a storyline I've had in my script folder for years.
"I have a proposition," I told D. "Would you like to be in a porn with me - indirectly, I mean?"
He was intrigued. I explained my idea. I wasn't quite expecting him to take it and run with it in the way he did.
The scene is one of remote dominance. Arriving at the hotel for a dirty weekend with my lover, I'm surprised to find a letter waiting on the bed. I open it and read. It's from him, and it contains instructions which I then have to follow.
The first surprise, for me, was when D offered to actually write a letter. I'd expected that we'd collaborate on the text and then we'd record him reading it aloud for the voiceover. Instead, he wrote me a letter and sent it to Ms Naughty in secret; she then printed it out and planned the shots she wanted to capture as I carried out his instructions. Both of them knew what the letter said. Only I didn't. I had no idea what I would have to do until I read it live on camera.
I found this process incredibly hot. For the two days after the letter had been sent, both D and Ms Naughty took every opportunity to tease me about it,- telling me how hot it was, smugly enjoying the knowledge they had and I didn't, laughing when I blushed. The feeling of being conspired against was simply delicious.
After the shoot, the glow I felt wasn't just the result of the hot things D had made me do on camera. I felt utterly, completely loved. From half the world away, D had reached out and wrapped me in the warmth of his loving dominance. I felt attended to, nurtured, and safe, in exactly the same way that I do when D holds me after doing filthy, filthy things to me.
I may have been off travelling the globe without him, but he still had the power - and the will - to reach out and make me feel secure, submissive and loved.
To make things more interesting, the whole thing was watched by a BBC journalist who had asked to visit a feminist porn shoot. I don't know if he knew what to make of it. Afterwards he interviewed Ms Naughty about her work and she was kind enough to let me sit in and chat to him too. I'll be interested to read his report when it comes out.
In the meantime you can read Ms Naughty's write-up of feminist porn week, including this shoot, here.