I made a fool of myself on Monday.
@Steampunkato posted a link to this announcement revealing that her site Steamgirl would expand to include a new brother site, Steamboy.com. I admired Steamgirl when it launched a few weeks ago for the quality of its fashion, interior and graphic design - and it's always good to see models opening their own sites and doing their own production and marketing. Never mind that the models are all white, skinny women for now - it's a solo model site, and diversity can come later.
So when I learned that the announced launch of Steamboy.com, rather than being good news for fans of the female gaze, was instead an April Fool, it made me realise how wrong I've been.
I mean, can you imagine? A porn site devoted entirely to pictures of men? The very idea! How silly of me to think for an instant that they might have been serious. Men in porn are of course inherently hilarious, and only a fool would believe that anyone would actually want to look at them erotically. Who would take that idea seriously? The whole concept is just beautifully absurd. What a funny, funny joke!
Of course in good old reality, the truth of the matter is that male bodies are gross. In fact they are so aesthetically disgusting that no-one in their right mind would want to look at them, and the idea of doing so is inherently hilarious. I mean ewwww, can you imagine looking at a man? They have those awful dangly bits, you know! Disgusting and silly, all in one package! Hahaha, ew!
No no. Everyone knows only women are ever sex objects - in fact, this is their prime purpose, so much so that they are capable of little else, and the word "sexy" is practically synonymous with "feminine". It is literally impossible for something to be simultaneously "sexy" and "masculine" or "male". This is because only heterosexual men have sexual desires. I mean some weird minorities might find the occasional man sexy - such as queer men, or maybe women - but they don't count because everyone knows women don't actually like sex. And it's not like anyone other than heterosexual men has EYES.
Dear me, how stupid I've been all this time to think that anyone wanted to look at men. In porn! As if they were sexy! I just feel so silly, you know? All these years I've been thinking men could look pretty damn hot, but now I find out they're actually disgusting! More fool me!
Whoever decided which photos were going to end up on dreamsofspanking.com has an eye for what a dominant woman wants to see in a photo. If you buy a membership (which you really should. Judging by just the Musclebound set, Pandora creates amazingly high quality content), you’ll see that in the whole set there are quite a few photos of my very favourite pose (the one up top, as it happens). In that kneeling pose, Will just looks so deliciously open and vulnerable. His gorgeous creamy skin would look amazing marked up a little, and oh I love the way muscular men look in bondage. I hate the myth that only weak, pathetic men ever submit, so it’s especially nice to see someone in bondage who looks like he could pick me up and toss me around.
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Luckily, Fetlife commenters are around to set us right.
For instance, when I posted the above preview photo of our new spanking film The Tailor's Apprentice, starring Michael Darling and Sebastian Hawley, and it looked like some people might actually enjoy looking at it, red_handed_OTK rushed in to correct us all:
Bubblebutt41 is quite right, of course. It is physically impossible for Michael's bottom to be peachy, curvy and gorgeous at the same time as being masculine. Some off-the-wall types might enjoy looking at it, but this is only possible because Michael's bottom is secretly a woman's. It's the only logical explanation! It can't be manly and also sexy, after all. The two are mutually exclusive - as any fule no.