As mentioned briefly before, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome makes sex very difficult. This is as true for women as men, but in our case, and particularly for someone whose tastes are pretty basic in that regard, erectile dysfunction really gets in the way. Pandora has had seven years to learn every possible way to make things easier for me, and I have come to rely on her patience to allow me to get past the sense of failure that comes when one has been virile in the past and now isn't.
All of the above makes showing my feelings for a new lover very difficult at times; particularly when they share my inclination towards a solid fucking to finish off a session. I'm very sensitive to the ease with which a girl can interpret response failure as a physical insult, and that only makes things more difficult. All this serves as prologue to the very hot, but largely chaste, scene I played with Jacqueline the day after we awarded Pandora her Service badge.
The negotiations between Jacq and I have been complicated by several misunderstandings (she thought I didn't fancy her; I thought she didn't fancy men...) and have been extended over several years. After this delightful weekend, we had a very hot little scene at hers, brought to a satisfying, if non-PIV, orgasmic conclusion. My health context has changed a bit since then and I knew I'd be unable to raise a smile even if I tried, so I was planning based on a training scenario; "this is experience", rather than "this is foreplay."
As Pandora has mentioned before, Jacq's submission style communicates a strong element of quiet challenge, but I have found in private scenes that she also becomes very vulnerable through a sense of her own inexperience. She's read a lot about me as a Top and knows I'm a bit of a severity specialist. Her inclinations tend as much or more towards enjoyment of the art, the marking, as of the actual pain, which is somewhat scary. She's also very much a good-girl sub; I have to be careful to avoid leaving her feeling she has dissapointed me or failed herself in any way.
Canes make nice marks, and cold-canings make the nicest. Because Jacq prefers thud to sting, the option of moving up from thinner to heavier canes is less helpful than normal, so I had a nice technical challenge to go along with the emotional ones. As it combines great accuracy with a solid, thudding impact I had selected my Master cane for the task.
After a pub dinner, and some relaxing snuggle-time on the sofa, I took Jacq upstairs and brought her into mood with gentle words. Clear instructions, laying out what I'll do and how, and some of why, are usually the best for someone whose nerves are derived from inexperience rather than uncertainty of their kink.
I had her lay out pillows on the bed, a favourite position for this kind of thing because it makes holding place easy, presents the bottom nicely and looks very flattering in the pictures. I told her I'd start with six strokes, then check in, and proceed to a total of 24. She looked rather worried but gracefully positioned herself and gripped the head-board.
"Are you ready?"
The first six came at a slow and measured pace, firm enough to make nice marks but not harsh. I stroked her back and checked my aim several times, keeping her steadied through tactile communications. After six she had a lovely, neat set of lines, and had dropped into a fairly calm state of mind which I wanted to keep her in.
"Arch your hips, please, darling." I drew her knickers down and then picked up the cane again.
"You're doing very well, hon. These next six are going to be a bit harder, then I'll change sides to keep things even. Are you ready?"
I used the next twelve strokes to bring the intensity level up fairly steadily, and to even up the patterns on her lovely buttocks. By stroke 18 she was wriggling, and there were some enjoyable gasps and whimpers rising from her pillows. Time to pause for a rub and some more gentle words, and a kiss on the back of the neck. Jacq relaxed under that attention and I could tell she was mentally preparing herself for the harder finish she knew was coming.
"The last set will be a bit more serious. I know you can take them. Remember to present yourself after each one; I won't deliver the next until you have done so. Understood? Good. Are you ready?"
Strokes 19 and 20, though firm, drew only gasps and a little wriggle. 21 was lower, harder, and filled in a gap which had been irritating me for a while; that one made her head jerk back and drew a proper little squeal. She wiggled for a moment, and then sweetly sank back into position and offered her bottom again. 22 and 23 were both low and tight, and each one caused her several seconds of difficulty but she responded with a touching obedience to my instructions. And 24 was genuinely hard, plumb across the middle of her bottom. Then it was time for my gentle hand on the back of the neck and the whisper of 'good girl' into her ear.
"Really, really proud of you. Now stay still while I take another picture."