I’m going to do something I try to never do when I write: I’m going to preface this article. I wouldn’t usually, but the material is personal and incomplete and may seem a bit rambling and disconnected. However, I suspect that I’m not alone in the questions and conclusions that I’m mulling over, so please bear with me and hopefully there’s a kernel or two that resonates or contributes to a bigger conversation.
When I set out to watch Fetish Fvckdolls 2 (which if you haven’t watched it, I’d encourage you to do so at your earliest convenience) I wasn't expecting it to be a big deal. I’ve blogged here before about how watching porn that’s “not your usual taste” or incongruent with your own desires is interesting and can be enlightening. I was pretty sure that a collaboration by queer and trans performers like Fetish Fvckdolls 2 would be just that: interesting, but not my cup of tea.
Why? Well, I’m a straight-identifying, dominant-leaning cisgender woman who almost exclusively watches gay male chastity porn. Specific? Yup. And really kind of a world away from transfemme submission, which is the overarching main theme running through the four vignettes in Fetish Fvckdolls 2. You can see then how I might have thought that my interest in the film would be purely academic. Interestingly, it was not.
Now, I’m not here to say that this film changed me, nor should the incomplete epiphanies on sexuality that I’m sharing here be mistaken for me jumping on a bandwagon. Neither of those are true. What does feel true, is that I’m feeling really aware of my straight privilege after watching this film.
If you’re a straight person and that term makes you uncomfortable … I feel you. But it should make you uncomfortable. Privilege is a pervasive and dangerous thing when not acknowledged. Honestly, how two-dimensional of me to discount a film like Fetish Fvckdolls 2 as something that couldn’t touch me, something that I wouldn’t be able to identify with! How ridiculous and heteronormative of me to presume that I wouldn’t relate to these scenes. If it was mainstream lesbian porn (you know, the kind performed by cis women for the straight male gaze) would I have been so dismissive? Probably not, because I’m a straight woman who has had sex with other straight women and I’m blisteringly aware of the weight of the male gaze. But I presumed that I wouldn’t relate, or be aroused, by this.
Confused and intrigued, I discussed my bias with my husband, who has recently (or in his words: finally) self-identified as asexual. He watched part of Fetish Fvckdolls 2 with me and commented immediately that he hadn’t even noticed that the performers were trans until the fourth vignette because he was witnessing them as human beings, rather than sexual fantasies. I was surprised by that, because for me transfemme visibility is the point of the project. He asked what would make a film like Fetish Fvckdolls 2 more “my kind of porno”. I didn’t have an answer because I was processing that actually, this is my kind of porn.
Confused? Me too.
How could I think that gay male chastity porn is more relatable to me than porn that has trans women at the heart of it? Am I secretly kind of a bigot? But I know and love so many queer and trans people! Am I not as straight as I thought? Maybe, but that’s not the primary concern for me. The concern is that even though I think I know so much about sexuality, it turns out I don't know as much as I thought.
Yes, yes, we like what we like. The heart/loins want what they want. But it’s becoming evident to me now that the shackles of straight privilege (ie: never having to consider your sexuality or have it challenged, because it’s the cultural default setting) are just that: shackles.
What Fetish Fvckdolls 2 taught me about myself is that heteronormative thinking is limiting because the definitions are so static. “Straight” doesn’t leave much room for variety. Any “exploration” within straight sexuality is expected to be episodic, or at the most, a phase. So when, as a “straight” person, I watched this film, it was a bit dizzying to not see the performers as fantasy objects, and to relate to them on a human level. It revealed to me things I hadn't known before about how objectifying my gaze tends to be.
Fetish Fvckdolls 2 is radical and fresh. It puts trans women at the center of each encounter. Not only are they the subjects of their own experience, they are shown in willing and delighted submission. Not here the degrading porn tropes that cast trans women as exotic freaks with hard cocks, or strip them of autonomy - no, the trans women in Fetish Fvckdolls 2 are very clearly represented as the people they are. Full stop.
I learned that my erotic appetite, regardless of whom I choose to get frisky with, is essentially about the treatment and experience of the people involved, not the combination of bodies I see on the screen. I began to reflect on what turns me on and what turns me off in adult entertainment: it’s not the bodies at all. It’s the dynamics. I haven’t ignored trans porn in the past because it was trans. I've ignored it because when it’s badly done, it’s so likely to be dehumanising.
Fetish Fvckdolls 2 has been made with such smart and mindful intentions by everyone involved that the sexiness absolutely transcends all notions of genre and the limitations of what I thought I could be into. I watched the film three times. It’s 90 minutes long. It took me almost 5 hours of watching this film and then more time processing the experience for me to begin to get my head around these personal biases and blindspots.
What I have learned from Fetish Fvckdolls 2, what I’m so glad to begin to understand about myself, is that I like porn because I watching people fuck. Not just men, not just straight people, not just cishet couples. What I don’t like in porn is mindless and narrowly conceived narratives, and hegemonic control of my gaze. I’m not comfortable knowing that I have been a contributor to that mindlessness, a cog in the wheel of a cultural and artistic system that holds people back, misrepresents them and strips them of humanity, no matter how subtle the effect seems to be.
Having realised that, I want to do better. I know that I won’t always get it right, but only good can come from growth and empathy. And besides, if nothing else, a whole new world of porn just opened up to me, so if you’ll forgive me, I have some catching up to do …
After a quiet year, I have some big news.
I’m stretching my creative wings again with some new queer porn collaborations. Last weekend I filmed a scene with Courtney Trouble and Chelsea Poe with me and Chelsea performing together, which was a dream come true. I have a massive porn crush on Chelsea and we had so much fun. Our scene was (of course!) very kinky and involved butch/femme dynamics, spanking, flogging, makeouts, Chelsea making me squirt everywhere with her fingers and tongue (she kept asking me to cum on her tits, which I’ve never done before - it was very horny) and me sitting on and fucking her face with my cock until we were both drenched in jizz. Chelsea had to hop in the shower afterwards to rinse my cum out of her hair. It was so great to connect with her and I hope we get to work together again.
Courtney, who was our videographer, was so great to work with and made everything super easy. They were warm, sweet and welcoming, delightfully enthusiastic about my gender expression, and helped me get over my nerves. I stopped getting regular pre-shoot anxiety ages ago, but it was a bit scary shooting with two porn icons whom I’ve admired from afar for years. I’m so so glad to have worked with them both and can’t wait to release the finished scene, which is a collaboration and will be distributed through QueerPorn.tv, Dreams of Spanking and other channels.
It's coming. And so are we...
Before we go any further I should warn you that The Abusive Therapist is a severe spanking film. It is an edgy fantasy direct from the kinky imagination of spanking starlet Tai Crimson. Here's the scene description:
Tai plays a vulnerable young woman struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts who begins a course of therapy. She soon finds herself mentioning her spanking and humiliation fetish - but she isn't prepared for the reaction of her therapist, Pandora Blake. Pandora recommends a course of 'corrective therapy', based on the idea that Tai's ideation about being spanked only persists because she doesn't really know what it feels like. Once Tai understands that in reality, spankings hurt and there is nothing sexy about being embarrassed and punished, Pandora declares that Tai will be 'cured'.
Once Tai is thoroughly humiliated, Pandora takes her over her knee and raises her skirt, giving her a no-nonsense firm hand spanking to show her what it really feels like. As the punishment progresses onto Tai's bare bottom, Pandora becomes ever more sadistic. She applies the stingy, vicious bath brush to Tai's cheeks with vigour, punctuating the spanking with a lecture about how sick and disgusting Tai is for fetishising spanking. Pandora makes it clear that she will continue to administer this type of aversion therapy until Tai gets over her 'perversion'. Ultimately, in this humiliation fantasy, is it the patient who is perverted, or the therapist?
Please note that this comes with emphatic trigger warnings for kink-shaming, stigmatising language, and emotional and physical abuse of a vulnerable character by a mental health professional.
DIsclaimer: there is nothing wrong with having a spanking fetish, and this is definitely not how therapists should behave.
I was quite nervous about watching this scene, because while I am dominant I am not really comfortable delivering humiliation. It feels wrong, especially when it involves shaming someone for their kink. The idea of watching this film definitely put me outside my comfort zone. When Pandora (as the performer not the character) admitted how difficult she found it, I could really empathise. However, I should know not to worry when watching a Dreams of Spanking production, because this is really well done. This roleplay is very much led by the performers, and clearly shown that it is done with full consent (and a fair amount of enthusiasm from Tai).
The main film is book-ended with cuts of the performers laughing and joking behind the scenes. For me this really helped, and eased a lot of the concern I had about this type of humiliation. Seeing Tai having a great time before the in-character bit begins helped me relax and enjoy the film as a hot fantasy.
Tai has such an expressive face and a few times the camera zooms in on her expression. I loved the way she tries not to show her joy and excitement about the prospect of being spanked, but sometimes the mask slips and we see the arousal on her face. At one point Pandora tells her that only sick little perverts have the thoughts she does, and I noticed Tai let just an edge of a smile slip through. I found this film truly fascinating to watch because of these glimpses of Tai's enjoyment, and because of the energy in the roleplay. The way it all comes together feels very respectful, but at the same time very realistic.
Pandora does a great job of making the therapist a believable (and horrible) character, despite the outrageous and untrue things she is saying. The spanking is convincingly hard and very accurate, and Tai’s bottom bruises beautifully. It starts with hand spanking, and moves through a few spanking implements finishing with a vicious split-tailed tawse. The final close-up of Pandora with a slightly evil looking grin on her face, stroking the tawse while watching Tai leave the room, is perfection and finishes the scene perfectly. If you enjoy humiliation play I think this is going to be a must-watch film for you.
Our latest male/male spanking video Turn That Music Down is a domestic punishment scene starring Fauni Cate and Richard Barton. In this hot little film Fauni plays a rebellious young metal-head who plays his music far too loud at home. After yet another call from neighbours complaining about the noise, Dr Barton decides to make sure that this time he will get to the bottom of things. He is determined that the punishment, and the lesson, will be well learned.
Fauni and Richard have a really great on screen connection that plays perfectly into this scene. The combination of Richard’s frustration at having to apologise to yet another neighbour, and Fauni’s resentful attempt to avoid punishment, creates a lovely sense of suspense. I found myself watching closely, waiting to see who would ‘break’ first. As someone who can be a bit of a brat I really felt for Fauni; he has a "I know I’m wrong but I have things to do and you won’t really hurt me” attitude which Ifound very familiar. But the side of me that loves dishing out a punishment was totally with Richard on this one; sometimes you just need to make sure your lesson is delivered in such a way that makes sure it sinks home.
Fauni’s protests, and complaints as the punishment starts, are lovely but not as lovely as his mumbled apologies that get louder and clearer as his punishment continues. There is a moment where he kicks his legs up, and is quickly reminded that he needs to keep those heavy boots on the floor and away from Richard's face. I love it when a sub wriggles while they’re being punished, even though they know it will only increase their punishment; they just can’t help it. It’s why I don’t always use restraints, watching a spankee wince and apologise as they try to control their involuntary movements is so much fun, and it is one of the things that I loved so much in this scene. At various points Fauni is lying over Richard's lap completely helpless, dangling and kicking with his legs in the air, and it is such a sexy position for a spanking.
The slight gleeful grin we see flash across Richard’s face as he punctuates his demands - that the young man gets some headphones - with spanks is terrific. Almost as though he slipped out of character for a second and was just revelling in the sheer delight of delivering a thorough spanking. He also leaves Fauni’s bottom a very gorgeous shade of red, you can even see slight bumps and purpling at the end. This is a simple and very appealing m/m spanking scene between an older man and a cute younger boy, and the punishment is hard enough to make an impression.
We are thrilled to have sex blogger HornyGeekGirl, an erotica author and self-proclaimed spanking enthusiast, as a new contributor to this blog. Please give her a warm welcome!
I love wax play. Delivering it, I love the feeling of joy at every little squeak and wiggle your partner makes. I especially love dripping hot wax onto a freshly spanked, flogged or caned bottom. Receiving it, there's the split-second sting of the heat as it hits, that lovely warming feeling as more is added, and then the sheer pleasure of it being picked, peeled or scraped off. It’s delicious.
Hot Wax starring Tai Crimson and Pandora Blake really captures the deliciousness of wax play. Right from the first photo, we see Tai’s smile of anticipation ... which turns to slight trepidation when Pandora pulls back her hair to whisper in her ear. Then there's the small smile on Pandora’s face as she lights the first candle. You can really feel the tension as Tai awaits that first droplet of hot wax.
For me that anticipation is half the fun of wax play, and this image shows that perfectly. It’s the deep breath before the first stinging drip falls. I like the symmetry of being able to see a profile of each performer’s face. They both seem to focus on the candle, even though I know Tai probably can’t really see it.
Tai's face is a study in this photo gallery. There is something almost blissful in Tai’s expression as Pandora drips the first trail of colour from higher up, which changes to lip-biting pain as the wax - and the heat - get closer to her skin, until the wax leaves pink heat marks on her upper back.
I love the dynamic between the two of them. The comfortable ease expressed in Pandora’s gleeful enjoyment of Tai’s pain, and the total trust Tai shows even when wax is being dripped in very intimate places. Which brings me to the other hot thing about this photo gallery. After all that build up, the pay off is a sequence of incredibly naughty photos as Pandora teases apart Tai's bottom checks, tantalising her with the idea of hot wax being dripped into that most sensitive spot... and then lands drop after fat drop right onto her exposed hole. That range of photos made me wince and wiggle, and witnessing Tai’s pleasure at the pain really appealed to the domme side of me that likes to hurt people just the way they like it.
The final two images in the set are the perfect finish. It's lovely to see the two performers basking in the afterglow of the scene they’ve just shared - and it's clear from their faces that they loved every minute.
One of the things I've occasionally thought about, as a feminist who runs a spanking site, is content warnings. Fundamentally, the idea behind these is that if something might include content likely to trigger someone recovering from serious trauma, it's respectful to give notice in advance that the topic is likely to come up, so anyone who needs to can prepare themselves and isn't caught off guard.
I think it's a really great way of making material more inclusive. Yet I've never gone ahead and instituted content warnings on Dreams of Spanking, at least not overtly. What I do instead is to make the content of each scene very explicit in the tags and copy surrounding the film. I try not to spoiler plot twists, but I do often remove the element of surprise from how the story of a film unfolds, in the interests of pre-warning viewers what they can expect - both to catch the attention of people with particular niche tastes, and to pre-warn people who might find certain content distasteful or upsetting. So far, I've been happy with that system. But if any film on Dreams of Spanking has made me wonder if it should include a content warning, it's our latest film starring Tai Crimson.
When I was editing Caned at Home, I found parts of it so extreme - both in terms of the severity of the physical punishment and the nastiness of the verbal degradation and emotional abuse - that it made me feel uncomfortable. The whole scene was shot in a single take, so I didn't see any out-of-character interactions to break the tension and reassure me that Tai was okay with what was happening until the scene was over. However, I needn't have worried. The moment "cut" is called, Tai bounces up and enthusiastically tells me that she could have taken double the number of strokes. In fact, she almost seems disappointed that the scene hadn't been harder.
So I decided to reuse a film format that I trialled during our ATVOD investigation (and which may have played a part in our successful appeal win, although it's hard to be sure); showing snippets of out-of-character performer interviews or behind the scenes interaction both before and after the main film, to contextualise the fantasy in the real-world context of the performers' tastes and desires. Since we won our appeal, I hadn't particularly felt the need to do this - especially with films where the fantasy shows pleasure spankings and explicit consent. But Caned at Home is definitely not one of these.
If edgy domestic scenarios showing the disproportionately severe punishment of a helpless girl aren't a turn-off for you, Caned at Home has much to recommend it. In particular, the sequences of hard and fast cane strokes falling one after the other without a break are some of the most convincingly severe thrashing I've ever seen on a UK spanking site. Tai has a high tolerance, and this was the third time we'd played together; she'd asked me to push her to tears, and this was our last scene of the day, so there was no reason to hold back. As it turned out, even the nastiest verbal abuse I could come up with - and one of the hardest canings I've ever delivered on camera - weren't quite enough to break her.
Perhaps you love severe caning and verbal degradation as much as Tai does, in which case Caned at Home will be right up your street. But if, like me, you prefer to know for sure that the performers were into it before watching a scene of this intensity, I recommend watching the performer interview and behind the scenes video first, to reassure yourself that no only was Tai unharmed by the making of these scene, but actively enjoyed it. It's lovely to work with a young woman who is so in touch with her kinky sexuality, and so articulate at expressing her fantasies and fetishes.
Besides, severe canings that leave livid welts are most definitely not BBFC-compliant. Dreams of Spanking is currently the only UK spanking site where you can watch material like this, and we will remain so until the Digital Economy Bill means we have to stop, too. So enjoy it while you can.
My interest in porn performing was largely spurred by the desire to have an avenue for indulging my 'low-concept' kinky fantasies. I’m still a fan of the 'high-concept' (simple ideas that can be succinctly explained in a sentence) but the opportunities to, say, have your self-worth consensually attacked while your head is flushed in a toilet are a lot more infrequent. That’s why Bullied at Home is a strong contender for my favorite film I’ve been in.
Let me back up. Long before I became the perverted hedonist I am today, I was a burgeoning young deviant with unrestricted internet access. Out of that access came the ability to form a broader perspective of the world from an early age, a skill for discerning truth from bullshit with relative ease, and a penchant for depravity. While today, spanking is the core component of my sexuality, it was originally the second kink I had come across that clicked with me.
The first? Wedgies.
One might assume that this kink arose from first-hand experience, but that would make far too much sense. The girl who loves being tormented you see before you was once a boy who had never been bullied in this manner, but was desperate to experience it. Wherever it was in pop culture I first encountered the concept of pulling one’s underwear up to cause discomfort and embarrassment, the end result was a teen who spent far too much time emulating the experience for herself.
Did you know I have a huge embarrassment kink? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be telling you that I ripped at least a dozen pairs of underwear in middle school from giving myself wedgies hanging from the rafters of our garage. And I definitely wouldn’t be telling you that I once rode my bike around the park and high school near our house with a sign on my back reading “WEDGIE ME” in bold letters. The countless problems with this idea are left as an exercise to the reader.
It didn’t end there, of course. Just as wedgie fetishists and spankos share significant overlap, so do wedgie fetishists and swirlie fans.
For the uninitiated, a 'swirlie' is the act of pushing the victim’s head into the toilet bowl while flushing – another indignity I had never actually experienced, and thus took it upon myself to try out.
While these schoolyard kinks inserted themselves into my psyche at a young age, it took a lot longer to be able to see and articulate the compelling threads that run between them. Namely, strong desires to be humiliated, bullied, and made to feel like the pathetic little girl that I am.
Over time (and especially since having started hormones this past February), those themes have further intensified and coalesced into the primary variety of scenarios I now fantasize about: extremely edgy scenes with plenty of mind-fucking, where the masochism is both physically and emotionally heavy.
That bring us to Bullied at Home. This scene was a chance for me to satisfy those sorts of desires, with the delightfully sadistic bully role filled by the amazing Nimue Allen. Pandora came up with the “threatening to get kicked out of your foster home” spin, which genuinely got me wet the first time I heard it.
I couldn’t have asked for a more safe and comforting environment to be able to get into that sort of dark headspace in, and I hope you’ll agree that the end result is as hot to watch as it was to film!
Is there any better remedy for the stress of adult life than going over the knee for a long, loving spanking? For Fauni Cate, that's certainly his preferred way to deal with it when things at work start to get too much. He has a long-standing relationship with his paternal disciplinarian, Dr Richard Barton, and an open invite to call and come round whenever he needs to.
Still, the fact that Fauni needs - and craves - this punishment doesn't mean he isn't nervous. This male/male spanking scene opens with him arriving at the house, biting his lip and clearly struggling with last-minute anxiety about what awaits him, before he summons his courage and rings the bell. Dr Barton lets him in, and asks how things are going. Fauni stammers with nerves as he quietly confesses that he feels in need of some spanking, struggling to meet his disciplinarian's eye.
During the out-of-character conversation before shooting this scene, Richard and Fauni negotiated what they want to happen, and it's clear that both participants are on the same page. Fauni is fond of age play and paternal domestic discipline; and Richard finds a scene like this very authentic, as he provides this sort of discipline in real life from time to time, for boys who come to visit him for spanking. That sense of mutual collaboration and consent continues within the scenario itself.
The mood is caring and nurturing as Dr Barton asks Fauni what would suit him best - a spanking punishment with implements, or an OTK hand spanking? The pair reach a decision together, and it's obvious that although Fauni is putting himself in Richard's hands, he also fully wants and needs some loving discipline. Dr Barton fetches a wooden chair from by the wall, places it in the centre of the room and tells his submissive boy, "You know the drill", and Fauni does indeed: he obediently bends over Richard's lap and offers his bottom for punishment. Richard begins smacking with a brisk pace over Fauni's jeans, before ordering him to take them down, and continuing Fauni's punishment over his underwear, and finally on the bare until Fauni's bare bottom is bright red.
Fauni is a brave boy, and this discipline session isn't given in anger. Dr Barton reassures Fauni that he's taking his punishment well, and that he's proud of him. Still, Dr Barton has a hard hand, and Fauni can't help wriggling and gasping as the spanks rain down without a pause. Finally he is told to get up and undress. Totally naked, Fauni seems that much younger and more vulnerable as the consensual power exchange between the two men is completed, and he fully submits to Dr Barton's dominance.
That submission is tested when Fauni is invited to select an implement from the ones laid out on the bureau. His hand hovers over several, picking them up and considering them before settling on a heavy leather strap. He brings it to Richard and offers it to him, looking every inch the good boy.
Dr Barton is surprised by his choice, and once his charge is in position over the arm of the sofa, he tells Fauni that he's picked out a very fierce implement. He wants to check; does Fauni knows what he's in for? Fauni is determined to get the stress relief spanking he needs, and it seems that he's in the mood to receive a severe strapping. But as Dr Barton begins, it's clear that this strap is no joke. Has Fauni bitten off more than he can chew, and will the ferocious sting of the leather strap prove too much for him?
Fauni is adorable in this scene, with some fantastic facial reactions as he receives his punishment. I love the closing shot of Fauni kneeling naked by Richard's feet, receiving some tender caresses and looking up at his top with adoring eyes. You only have to hear the way Fauni spontaneously cries out "Yes..." as the intensity of the spanking increases to know that this is truly what he needs.
All too often, trans women are fetishised and objectified in mainstream porn, not to mention erased from spanking porn entirely.
This is something Pandora wrote a while back, talking about which scenes were the favourites of Dreams of Spanking fans. It was in reference to the award-winning Houseboy, which features the fiery Eliza Grey and the adorable Tai Crimson. Tai, at the time of shooting, identified as genderqueer and happily played a male character in the film. But in the year or so since Tai’s debut shoot as a performer, Tai has come out as a trans woman. A perfect time, I think, to acquaint (or reacquaint) yourself with this absolutely gorgeous, cute as a button and wonderfully eloquent young person.
And what a wonderful introduction this photoset is. Radiating innocence in her school girl outfit, Tai slowly strips off her uniform. A shy bite of the lip occasionally crosses her face, as if she’s asking for permission to continue her reveal. She seems shy as she shows you her puffy, newly developing breasts; her utterly spankable bottom. But there's a cheeky glint in her eyes throughout, suggesting that should you wish to put her over your knee, she wouldn’t object ... too much.
Indeed, in the accompanying interview, Tai tells us with a wonderful candidness about how edgy her kinks get (I for one am dying to know just what else is on that “kink menu” of hers). She also talks about her evolving gender identity, making the decision to transition, and the side-effects of hormones on her body. All throughout, her rock-solid sense of identity and her openness and self-acceptance are practically tangible - not just in the interview also in the photo set too, which includes some tantalising glimpses of how much being looked at turns her on.
To me, growing up knowing next to nothing about sexuality apart from what I was taught in school and what was presented in the media, feminist and queer porn has been an education. It's offered a window into my own gender and sexual identity, helping me come to terms with my queerness, what I’m into and why that's okay. And watching and listening to Tai Crimson, I am absolutely certain that she will offer someone else a window into their own identity. So, come and get to know the future phenomenon that is Tai Crimson, and let this school girl school you.
The reason Dreams of Spanking is called dreams is that one of the core concepts of the site is to clarify the boundary between fantasy and reality. This is important to me because my fantasies are often fucking twisted.
I get off to thinking about being bound, violated, totally helpless, and punished against my will. This does not mean I endorse or desire non-consensual acts in real life: far from it, my edgy fantasies make me more invested in enacting and promoting good consent and communication, and in making sure I don't ever take advantage of anyone, or let myself be taken advantage of. Those of us with dark sexual psyches have good reason to think hard about the ethics of erotic power, and how to play with these ideas in a safe, securely-contained space that doesn't impinge on the real world. Actually doing something to someone against their will might be fine to dream about, but it's totally off-limits in reality.
So exploring that boundary line, where dreams end and reality begins, is one of the ideas behind this site: that's why we never publish an edgy non-consent fantasy without accompanying it with behind the scenes videos, out-takes and performer interviews, to show you that fantasy is just fantasy, and make visible the reality behind it. It's also become a policy of mine to not write non-consent scenarios for performers. If I come up with a film idea that is really dark and twisted, I'll either play the submissive role myself, or assign it to another performer only after they've raised the idea of shooting something similar; in that case, I'll run the script past them and amend it to suit their taste before we shoot. But my preference is to work with spankees who have a strongly-developed sense of their own kinky sexuality, and who come to the shoot with scenario ideas of their own.
That's one of the many, many reasons why Tai Crimson was such a pleasure to work with.
You're not a true trans ally unless you're choking me while beating my ass till it's a deep purple. Sorry, I don't make the rules.— Tai Crimson (@TaiCrimson) April 21, 2016
When we were making plans for our second shoot with her - the first since she came out as transgender - she sent me the link to her sex menu, and invited me to peruse it before coming up with scenario ideas. Reading it, I learned two things: firstly, that Tai is the most self-assured teenage pervert I have ever met, and secondly, that she is even filthier than I am. A lot of the stuff on Tai's sex menu already takes me out of my comfort zone - for instance, her fetish for "swirlies", which is when a bully shoves your head in the toilet and flushes it. Luckily, I'm relatively practised at navigating discomfort, and perfectly happy to up the ante and add further twists and intensity until the scenario comes back into the realm of my own twisted imagination. Sometimes two wrongs really do make a right. For instance, one of the scene negotiations went like this:
me: (reads Tai's sex menu) How about a school bully scene including slapping, spanking, wedgies and (maybe) swirling, with Nimue topping Tai?
Tai: Oh gosh, yes! Struggling/roughhousing that leads to being facesat on & taunted might be a nice addition as well. Plenty of fun bully stuff to toss in as well - like, say, having armpits shoved in my face. (My ass, thighs, and tits are also open for punching!)
me: Awesome! How about having you be cousins, or even foster siblings in a shared home, and it be an after-school type thing with both of you still in uniform? With Nimue threatening to get you in trouble if you don't do what she says - actually having you both be in care would make this EXTRA edgy, as she could threaten to get you kicked out. If that's too dark, I will totally understand :)
Tai: Personally, it's dark enough that it just made me wet. Which is a resounding yes.
It's tough writing porn planning emails when you keep having to stop to jerk off to the fucked up ideas you're brainstorming!— Tai Crimson (@TaiCrimson) July 22, 2016
The shoot was at my place, and we were together for two days and two nights. The first day was spent shooting trade content for Nimue's World, and Tai's forthcoming Amateur Porn studio. I got to witness the filthy hotness that is Tai first hand, viewing some incredibly hot scenes from behind the camera. Tai and Nimue have great chemistry, and I really enjoyed watching it develop over the course of the day. For Nimue's site we shot a bathroom control scene, an introductory striptease, a tit torture photoset and a queer sex scene; and for Tai's clip store it got even kinkier, with a figging and anal ice cube scene, a bondage and tickling scene, a super-edgy interrogation scene, and a forced intoxication/breath play scene where Tai was forced to smoke weed and hold it in, only breathing when Nimue permitted her to. I have to admit that it's unusual for me to feel like the least kinky person in the room, but there's no denying that Tai and Nimue are way ahead of me.
So by day two, shooting four videos and two photosets for Dreams of Spanking, we were all warmed up and ready to roll. Last time we shot with her, we didn't get the chance to shoot an introductory photoset with Tai, as the day was already over-full getting all the shots we needed for our cinematic production Houseboy. So this time, we kicked things off with a cutesy photoset of Tai as an adorable schoolgirl, showing off her new girly look, her spankable bottom, and her puffy, newly developing breasts.
I quickly discovered that shooting an innocent photoset with Tai is pretty much impossible. She loves being looked at, and as she removed her clothes the evidence of her arousal became more and more visible. This gallery is going live on the site this week, so you don't have to wait much longer to see how horny she got...
Throughout the shoot, Tai was taking selfies and updating her Twitter - which I thoroughly recommend following. I love this behind the scenes shot of her spread-eagled on the bed before our next scene, posting to the internet while she waited for me to be ready:
The next scene was another photoset - this time a domme/sub scenario with me using Tai's body as a pretty canvas for colourful hot wax. I bought these coloured play candles from Kink Craft at Eroticon earlier this year - they're lovely people, and I highly recommend their toys! I've played with wax before in private, but never brought it into a shoot. Tai was the perfect model, whimpering (and getting more and more turned on) as the wax dripped on her body - including in her most intimate places.
I really enjoyed covering her in colours to match my bedspread, making her wriggle and squirm, and seeking out all her sensitive spots. We also learned that the wax that burned hottest was the black one - and it left Tai with some lovely pink marks, as well as the beautiful decoration of the wax itself.
Once Tai had brushed all the wax off (and we'd shaken out the sheets!) we stayed in the bedroom for our first video - a more sexually explicit scene than the usual fare on Dreams of Spanking. When I first shot with Tai, she mentioned how much she loved anal play and big butt plugs. These are two of my favourite things too, and initially the Houseboy script had an extra femdom BDSM scene where I tormented Tai in all sorts of delicious, sexy ways. Sadly, we had to cut it due to lack of time, so when I planned to shoot with her again I was even more eager to make sure we got the chance to indulge in some butt play.
Tai is infamous for her love of anal CP - that is, smacking the butthole itself, rather than the buttocks as in traditional spanking. It's more exposing, more humiliating, more intimate and much more vulnerable. It's one of my big kinks too, and I was thrilled to have the chance to explore it on camera with a fellow queer femme who gets it.
you know, if you took a carbon fiber rod and left welts/bruises all around my asshole, I bet it'd *really* hurt to get fucked.— Tai Crimson (@TaiCrimson) August 9, 2016
Finally, once I'd warmed up Tai's hole, her cheeks and her thighs with smacks of my hand and my whippiest implements, the scene culminated with a strap-on fucking with my biggest dildo. This isn't the first time I've done this on camera, but it is the first time on Dreams of Spanking. Tai took it beautifully, and the scene was very real, very powerful, and very hot. It was an honour to explore something new together on film, and I can't wait to share the results with you.
After lunch, we moved to the lounge for the foster home bullying scene mentioned above. I got to take a break from performing, and it was gorgeous watching Nimue and Tai work their magic, with Tai as the new kid in the home, and Nimue as the boss bitch who smacks her around. This scene was straight out of Tai's filthy imagination, combining forced undressing, some tit and face slapping, lots of super edgy degradation and verbal abuse, over the knee spanking, wedgies and - last but not least - the ultimate humiliation: shoving Tai's face in the toilet, and flushing it.
I would never have written this scene if Tai hadn't listed all of these acts in such glowing, horny terms in her sex menu. Watching this scene unfold from behind the camera was a real treat. It's lovely to know that after ten years in porn, things can still surprise me - and I can discover the appeal of acts I never thought of as hot before. I'm grateful to Tai for being so authentic, so utterly open about her filthiest fantasies, and for trusting us to realise them for her. Even if wedgies and swirlies aren't your bag, I think Tai's total immersion and submission in this scene makes it really watchable - you can tell how into it she is, and it was wonderful to see her face light up when she talked about it in the post-scene interview!
This is the face of a girl who just had her clothes ripped off & head flushed in the toilet. Because she likes it. pic.twitter.com/S1bHfaDuNV— Tai Crimson (@TaiCrimson) July 27, 2016
I'd love to say that after the toilet-flushing everything got lighter and fluffier, but I'm afraid that it just escalated from there. The last two scenes of the day were, if anything, even more intense.
Although Tai had received lots of pain and domination so far, she hadn't been spanked with much other than the hand. That was about to change: our penultimate scene, lifted straight out of her sex menu, featured me as a no good, very bad therapist, and Tai as my vulnerable young client who confides her kinky fantasies to me. I shame her for having them, tell them that they're disgusting and wrong, and then take sadistic advantage of the situation and coerce her to take 'corrective punishment' from me.
It's interesting to note that even describing this scene to you now, I'm feeling a flutter of nervousness and vulnerability that you'll think I'm a terrible, terrible person for having this scene on my site. It's a fantasy that goes so strongly against the core principles of my morality - that there's nothing wrong with being kinky, that you shouldn't be ashamed about what turns you on - that I'm shy even about telling you we filmed it, even though you already know it was Tai's idea, not mine. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this being a fantasy of Tai's, either. That would be pretty ironic.
But I can tell you that I struggled to shoot this scene. I had to call cut at some point, just because I knew that my toppy dialogue sucked and I was totally failing to be the nasty, shaming abuser that Tai's fantasy required. Tai patiently fed me the script - "Tell me I'm a perverted freak, that there's something wrong with me, that no respectable or normal girl would be into stuff like this, that I deserve everything I get" - and I nodded and took some breaths, and we got back into character and tried again. I think we got there in the end.
It was pretty humbling, though. It's not often that the top is the one that has to safeword: and it renewed my admiration for Tai's strong sense of self; how aware and assured and accepting she is of her sexuality, that she can take ownership of her own shame scripts in this sort of consensual play. I hope the scene turned out well enough to do her wholeheartedness justice, despite my hesitance in the role of the kink-shaming authority figure.
I can attest that she took a pretty hard beating with some wickedly painful implements, including my much-hated stingy bathbrush, and the senior tawse. By the end of this scene Tai's bottom was ... well, crimson.
Then it was time for the final scene of the day; the caning Tai had been dreaming of since before she first shot for us.
Let's take a moment to appreciate the canings I've gotten in my life, and recognize how many more I utterly need! ðÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂ pic.twitter.com/u5cQYcsKwy— Tai Crimson (@TaiCrimson) July 16, 2016
By this point, you won't be surprised to hear that the plot involves unfair punishment and excessive severity. Tai plays her character from the bullying scene with Nimue; Nimue tattled that Tai was smoking and selling weed, and I play their overly strict caregiver who believes everything Nimue says, and punishes Tai with a hard caning. Luckily, I am 100% secure in my confidence that hard caning is something Tai loves and craves, and so it was easier for me this time to get into character and bring it to life.
It also helped that giving hard canings is one of my favourite things to do - I love the craft of it, lining up perfectly parallel lines and judging the accuracy and power just right. Tai took it beautifully, and I'm delighted with this scene, and everything else we shot that day. I very much hope that she was satisfied with the results!
It was a pleasure and a privilege to host Tai's first shoot as a female spankee, and to assist one more trans girl in the valiant mission of queering up the spanking scene. It certainly needs it. All I can say is, those spanking sites that won't shoot trans performers are totally missing out. Tai is a treasure, and I can't wait to share her scenes with you all.