My interest in porn performing was largely spurred by the desire to have an avenue for indulging my 'low-concept' kinky fantasies. I’m still a fan of the 'high-concept' (simple ideas that can be succinctly explained in a sentence) but the opportunities to, say, have your self-worth consensually attacked while your head is flushed in a toilet are a lot more infrequent. That’s why Bullied at Home is a strong contender for my favorite film I’ve been in.
Let me back up. Long before I became the perverted hedonist I am today, I was a burgeoning young deviant with unrestricted internet access. Out of that access came the ability to form a broader perspective of the world from an early age, a skill for discerning truth from bullshit with relative ease, and a penchant for depravity. While today, spanking is the core component of my sexuality, it was originally the second kink I had come across that clicked with me.
The first? Wedgies.
One might assume that this kink arose from first-hand experience, but that would make far too much sense. The girl who loves being tormented you see before you was once a boy who had never been bullied in this manner, but was desperate to experience it. Wherever it was in pop culture I first encountered the concept of pulling one’s underwear up to cause discomfort and embarrassment, the end result was a teen who spent far too much time emulating the experience for herself.
Did you know I have a huge embarrassment kink? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be telling you that I ripped at least a dozen pairs of underwear in middle school from giving myself wedgies hanging from the rafters of our garage. And I definitely wouldn’t be telling you that I once rode my bike around the park and high school near our house with a sign on my back reading “WEDGIE ME” in bold letters. The countless problems with this idea are left as an exercise to the reader.
It didn’t end there, of course. Just as wedgie fetishists and spankos share significant overlap, so do wedgie fetishists and swirlie fans.
For the uninitiated, a 'swirlie' is the act of pushing the victim’s head into the toilet bowl while flushing – another indignity I had never actually experienced, and thus took it upon myself to try out.
While these schoolyard kinks inserted themselves into my psyche at a young age, it took a lot longer to be able to see and articulate the compelling threads that run between them. Namely, strong desires to be humiliated, bullied, and made to feel like the pathetic little girl that I am.
Over time (and especially since having started hormones this past February), those themes have further intensified and coalesced into the primary variety of scenarios I now fantasize about: extremely edgy scenes with plenty of mind-fucking, where the masochism is both physically and emotionally heavy.
That bring us to Bullied at Home. This scene was a chance for me to satisfy those sorts of desires, with the delightfully sadistic bully role filled by the amazing Nimue Allen. Pandora came up with the “threatening to get kicked out of your foster home” spin, which genuinely got me wet the first time I heard it.
I couldn’t have asked for a more safe and comforting environment to be able to get into that sort of dark headspace in, and I hope you’ll agree that the end result is as hot to watch as it was to film!
If you’ve read Pandora’s updates from the Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, you’ll already know a bit about Zahra Stardust. Sexual activist, champion pole dancer, and scorchingly hot porn star, Zahra’s been making waves all across the world. This year, she won ‘Heart Throb of the Year’ at the Feminist Porn Awards (very shortly after this shooting this scene, in fact!) and it’s clearly well deserved, because having been introduced to her through this orgasmic spanking film I have a massive crush on her myself.
Zahra Stardust is utterly gorgeous, with beautiful piercings, tattoos, hot pink hair and a delightfully filthy grin - dressed in sheer knickers and a pink latex microskirt, I can see why Pandora was so excited to take her over the knee.
She's not just a pretty face, but an exceptional activist too - she’s run for parliament three times in her home country of Australia, and is currently doing a PhD on pornography.
Zahra's mission is to change the world, one orgasm at a time. Through artistic porn depicting authentic queer sexuality and female pleasure, her work celebrates consent, bruises and bodily fluids, and self-deterministic representation. And in this spanking video, with a firm helping hand from Pandora, some slow and hard strokes with the strap, and her Hitachi Magic Wand, she does just that.
I think one of the things I love most about Zahra is that when you watch her you get these amazing hot kicks of lust at each moment when she expresses pleasure. She’s never stoic or silent: she gasps and sighs with arousal, gripping the pillows tightly as the strap bites into her flesh, with blissful smiles and happy moans when she’s being pleasured in just the right way.
This scene isn’t just a spanking (although of course there are plenty of opportunities to admire Zahra’s gorgeous bum as she gets spanked through sheer knickers and in just a tantalising pearl thong), it’s the build-up to an explicit and delicious orgasm. We get to watch Pandora squeeze and touch Zahra all over, see what she loves and how she reacts to the spanking sensations she was so curious about. And for those who - like me - enjoy a bit of consensual choking and breath play, the climax to Spanking Zahra Stardust is off the end of the hotness scale.
One of the things that turns 'sexy' into 'oh God that's so filthy I can barely control myself' is dirty talk. Someone getting beaten: arousing. Someone getting called a filthy bitch while they're beaten? Hotter than the sun.
In this latest scene, Pandora and Ms Vixxxen take that dirty talk principle, multiply it by a thousand and add some extras that send shivers down my spine: hair pulling, resistance, cat fighting. It's almost as if they reached into the mind of the sexually frustrated goth kid I used to be and taken words, actions and a hardcore industrial/grunge porn set directly from my own fevered fantasies.
I should admit from the start: I'm a total sucker for the grungy punk look which Vix wears so beautifully. Her pale skin and 'fuck you' hair is very much my kind of thing, and works so perfectly - pushed up against a wall in an industrial setting with chains, a bare concrete floor, the works. Pandora, in a tight black dress and hold-ups, is the perfect femme complement to the butch boi that Vix plays. The pair clearly enjoy gender play - Pandora asks Vix if she's a "good girl" or a "good boy", and Vix retorts "Boy! Just look at me. Of course I'm a boy!"
In 'Bitch', Pandora and Ms Vixxxen have a phenomenally intense fighting dynamic, sparring like alley cats as they grab and pull at each other's hair and clothes.
I particularly liked watching Pandora slap Vix's face, and the moment when she turns her around and shoves her face right up against the wall. Vix struggles and fights back, but you can tell that she is clearly enjoying being 'forced' to do something she obviously really wants.
As well as being hot for its own sake, the verbal (as well as physical) fight is a gorgeous example of how to do negotiation sexily. That back-and-forth flirting, the struggle for dominance, is one of the core things I love about spanking itself, and Vix and Pandora use it as a tool to turn each other on: “Do you want this? How do you like that?” - all the things I like partners to ask me in the bedroom. Especially if they're grabbing me with lustful enthusiasm, as Pandora and Vix are here - teasing and slapping each other, with Vix playfully resisting as Pandora's grows more determined to establish control.
Finally, of course, I just love the torrent of filthy words. These queer grrls talk dirty - everything in this scene is punctuated by 'fuck you's and other angry curses, spat with a vehemence that heightens the intensity of what's happening. It's one thing to watch someone getting whacked with a paddle while gripping a chain on the wall (in itself incredibly hot, obviously - I guarantee you'll agree when you see the way Vix grabs the chain to brace herself), and quite another to feel the pain with them as they bite out "bitch" or "cunt".
Vix and Pandora clearly deeply enjoy this back-and-forth power struggle - every stinging smack or slap of the paddle prompts curses from Vix, telling Pandora she's a "bully", and Pandora doesn't hold back either, smugly replying "Yep - I'm the school bully you always dreamed of fucking".
There's no recourse to traditional spanking talk here - no calm 'thank you's as Vix counts off the strokes. Instead it's "One: fuck you. Two: fuck you, you bitch." The anger is as hot as the pain itself, if not hotter.
I'm really excited about our latest spanking film starring Ten Amorette, 'Filthy Girl'. Excited is a bit of a euphemism there - before I sat down and edited it properly the raw footage of this scene was my night-time watching of choice, put it that way!
On our recent Dreams of Spanking shoot I wanted to continue the themes of erotic punishment and lesbian dominance and submission. I decided to combine these ideas with a viewer request for a wet shower strapping.
Here's the free video trailer:
On a dirty lesbian weekend, I give my lover Ten a rude awakening, dragging her out of bed and shoving her under the shower. I've decided she's a filthy slut who needs cleaning up! I soap Ten's perfectly curved body and spank her round bottom until it's red and glowing.
The water turns Ten's satin nightie and white cotton knickers clinging and see through, and Ten quickly learns that being strapped with heavy wet leather stings so much more. But those aren't the only things getting wet in this steamy girl-girl spanking scene that includes breast slapping, hair pulling, teasing Ten's nipples with the wet leather, and much more...
As well as the obvious sex appeal of Ten being wet, slippery and spanked, there's something really erotic about watching the wet leather strap smack against wet skin. The flying water droplets make the impact that much more dramatic.
Click on the images to view full size HD screengrabs.
On a geekier note, I'm really happy with how well my camera captured this scene. The water running down Ten's curves and the spray created by each stroke came out a lot more clearly than I've expected. To show it off to best effect I've upped the video quality of the MP4 download of this scene to a bitrate of over 3000kbps.
For the first time, I've also published full resolution HD screengrabs rather than resizing them for web, so you can see every detail in crisp definition at 1920x1080 pixels. I had a little difficulty choosing screengrabs for this film, there were just so many amazing visuals, so the image gallery contains 90 hand-picked sreen captures. A little excessive for a 16 minute video perhaps, but if you click on the above samples and take a look, you'll see why I was spoiled for choice!
Members can also view the behind the scenes video accompanying this film, which includes a certain amount of footage of Ten and I splashing each other in the shower and giggling. Why yes, we do enjoy our work, why do you ask ;)
I'm still a bit behind on my blogging, but I'm going to bump our latest photoset to the top of the queue just because.
D and I played this scene straight after Snip Snip, and it was significantly less staged; I'd known more or less what I'd wanted out of the scissors scene, but for this one we just moved the mirrors from D's bedroom into his living room, where we had a bit more space to play with, and improvised. All I knew was that I wanted to capture something of D's and my sexual relationship, a candid glimpse into our real life play. Mirrors, high heels and leather belts are all recurring features. (The bookcase porn is fairly emblematic, too.)
D and I looked at these photos together in chat this evening, and aside from a bit of light-hearted self-deprecation, we both enjoyed going through the finished gallery. He particularly liked the frequency with which we grin at each other in these photos (no serious BDSM porn here!); the scratches on my back by which he had marked his ownership; and the interesting effect of seeing himself reflected in the mirror, but not in the foreground.
I complimented him on his good belting action, ably photographed by Tricia, and told him how hot it was to see his erection tenting his jeans while he thrashes me. I also enjoyed the erotic subtlety of the photos in which our fucking is not visible in the foreground; only glimpsed in the mirror, out of focus.
My hope is that these photos express genuine love, lust and affection in a real life dominant/submissive power exchange. They also feature a far wider range of activities than most scenes on this site (as the tag list suggests!). From foot kissing to cock worship; the way D wraps the belt around my throat and uses it to control my breathing and movements as he kisses me, slaps and licks my breasts, and guides my head to his cock; being spanked with that wooden ruler over the knee, colouring not only my upraised bottom but my tender inner thighs as he spreads my legs and slowly smacks his way up each one, his other hand pressing into my wetness.
D and I very much enjoyed looking through these photos together, and are inspired to organise another couple shoot. (I'm still not sure he's comfortable appearing on video, and don't want to pressure him, but perhaps one day he'll surprise me.) I think this photo gallery encapsulates something real, and very hot, about our relationship. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into our intimate kinky lives.
Today's update is one of my favourites of the scenes we've shot so far, and one of the edgiest. Darker and nastier than your usual spanking scene, this noir interrogation scenario includes struggling, stripping, bondage/takedown, groping, breast slapping and breath play as well as belt whipping. After all that, the belting needed to be fairly convincing, and it was. I'm not sure what I liked most: struggling on the floor with my wrists bound and D kneeling in the small of my back, or being tied down over a bar stool while he continued his work.
Shooting this was hot, hot, hot. D and I both enjoy this sort of violation roleplay, but are both a bit self-conscious to go for it in private most of the time. Taking photos offers us the perfect excuse to explore some of our darker fantasies.
Unlike many of my fantasies, this one is more or less context-free. It's an interrogation, and I think my interrogator might have sadistic impulses outside the strict remit of his brief (unless he's playing a very long game), but other than that, there's no back story to this one, no plot exposition. Like D's topping style, this scene moves from moment-to-moment, and is all the more intense for it.
There's a part of me that loves struggling, resistance and takedown, but my inner sub likes being a good girl too much to do it for fun most of the time. I love D in a long leather coat, and I love (and hate) the cold distance he establishes between us when he's taking me on a real rollercoaster ride. I love, love, love having one of his hands over my mouth while the other explores my body, and I love that he took me up on my old, filthy fantasy of having my head trampled into the floor with the sole of his boot.
Shooting this was exhilirating, a slow wordless dance following D's lead. I had no idea what was coming, although we'd talked about the appeal this sort of fantasy had for each of us before, and he knew what I was likely to enjoy. Roy Tersley, the Janus photographer we were shooting with, had no clue what he was in for and had just expected to be shooting some nice spanking scenes, so I hope we didn't upset him too much! It was rough, violent, cathartic and absolutely drenched in sexual tension. By the time we'd finished I was flushed with arousal, and more or less failing to pretend I hated it (this is a problem I often have with ravishment scenes!)
D and I took a moment to reconnect in the changing room, and before we really knew what was happening we were fucking right there on the dressing table. Turns out he'd found it just as hot as I had. It was one of the most raw, intimate, downright unprofessional moments I've ever had on a shoot - normally I manage to retain a modicum of self-control, no matter how much fun I'm having! - but it's also one of those precious memories which I think I'll look back on with a grin for the rest of my life.