I don’t know if you guys realised this, but Pandora has a secret superpower: the ability to make hot, taboo spanking porn films that are also...weirdly wholesome?
On the surface of it, there’s nothing wholesome at all about our latest film. Pandora plays a bratty slut who has got herself pregnant - and doesn't even know who the father is! By the end she has an extremely red bottom courtesy of daddy dom Nimue, who has had enough and knows who's going to be left to look after the baby. It’s an edgy spanking roleplay involving implied daddy/daughter age play, serious telling-off, and a heavily pregnant spankee getting a hard bare bottom paddling. Plus there's at least one orgy joke.
And yet, and yet... when you get to the end, see - well, I won’t spoil it for you, but I came away giggling and genuinely heartwarmed. This film is a hot power play spanking fantasy, it presses all sorts of filthy buttons, and it also somehow rather sweet. I know Pandora was determined to shoot some hard spanking porn while heavily pregnant, and the baby bump in this film is the real deal. If you like a little age play with your spanking (guilty as charged) and breaking all the rules, you'll like this. And really, who doesn’t want queer butch Daddy dom to spank them and take care of them? I know I do.
OK, so this one was a particular treat for me: not just because I absolutely love a bit of genderqueer action with subversive undercurrents, but because both performers happen to be people I regard as pals. Charlie Forrest and I made our Dreams of Spanking debut together in Please May I Come, Mistress, a couple of years ago (and we ended up winning an award for it – have I told you that already?). In Carpe Posterium, though, he’s playing an irascible Latin tutor who has been requested by the father of lazy student Blake to provide some old-fashioned discipline.
Blake, though first appearing somewhat nervous (and well you might be, lad. Well you might be!) is in no mood to accept Mr Forrest’s criticism and reacts with sulky petulance which turns into outright rudeness. Naturally, this can’t be allowed to pass, and it isn’t long before Blake is obliged to bend over and submit to a sound thrashing. This is expertly administered with a proper old-fashioned tawse: first over the trousers, then on the pants, and finally the tawse is applied to Blake’s bare bottom, which blooms with delicious red marks.
There are many fun touches to this film which lift it out of the ordinary: Blake’s gorgeous tailcoat-and-trousers ensemble, suggestive of the young rake about town, certainly works on me and anyone else with a thing for a bit of badly-behaved posh. Charlie’s extraordinary waistcoat and cravat (and distinctive sideburns) give the perfect impression of the faintly-eccentric academic.
Though both performers are playing it straight, there’s a nicely snarky, even absurdist atmosphere, which is something you tend to get in all the best spanking erotica. Sure, some people prefer hardcore disciplinary spanking to be intense, serious and quite dark, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m always more drawn to stuff that’s either full-on fun or has a satirical edge rather than a sadistic one.
As it happens, the background music here is slightly discordant and gives a feeling that things are teetering on the edge between funny and a little bit frightening: after all, the out-of-control posh boys are often the ones who end up wrecking the place, and it’s perhaps a pity that certain real-life ones don’t have the equivalent of a Mr Forrest around to teach them that actions – or inactions – can have painful consequences.
Welcome Violet, who has recently joined the Dreams of Spanking team as a copywriter. She regularly posts erotic photography and writing and her blog Love, Violet.
It’s an interesting thing to look at porn that is “not my thing” and try to see it objectively. Not surprisingly, this isn’t an easy thing to do. It makes sense that we process stimuli we find pleasing more readily and more directly than stimuli that doesn’t quite float our boat. However, the photo gallery In Big Trouble is beautifully made and has enough artistic merit to stand alone, regardless of one’s personal tastes.
Porn is a faction of the overall canon of contemporary art, in my opinion, and I say that as someone whose education is in fine art and critical theory. Many people would disagree, but when the crafting and production of pornography is as considered as its themes and narrative, like the films and photos here on Dreams of Spanking, I’d be hard pressed to dismiss it as too low-brow to be art. In Big Trouble is a beautiful example of visual storytelling that is highly narrative, emotionally demonstrative and visually satisfying to the viewer.
I’m not privy to the details of the creative process or art direction behind a scene like In Big Trouble, but it’s clearly well considered with captivating details. The inspiration for this custom hard spanking photo story came from a client with a particular vision, based on tales of his ex lover’s accounts of hard caning and OTK spanking conducted at home in her younger years. He said,
“Her stories to me of being punished were always the most engaging when she was describing the more ritualistic preparations of being led to the living room, being made to assume the position, being told to lift her dress, being instructed to lower her panties, and then later being ordered to lay down over his knees."
So much of what is described and desired in this scene is internally felt; both by the client as he relives his response to his lover’s stories, as well as the actual scene as it unfolds, grippingly portrayed by Pandora Blake and Mike Pain. Nuanced focus, attention to detail, and the rich storytelling of photography allows the viewer to be transported to the dining room, where paternal hand and rattan cane befall Pandora's tender bottom over and over. I found myself holding my breath as I moved through the images, struck a bit dumb by the intensity and anxious discomfort I felt as the story unfurled. I could feel the heat of the welts, the humiliation of her bottom being bared, and the potion of fear and obedience she must have felt to be able to resist flinching, kicking or squirming.
The artistry of these photos is, for me, in the discomfort that they elicited in me. Not all art is pretty or comfortable. These images are striking (ooops, what a pun!) even though they are not what I turn to for visual titillation. How then, did they resonate so deeply for me? I understand the client’s desire to have that tension highlighted: to experience, indirectly, his lover's humiliation and fear, as well as the unquestioned power and authority of her disciplinarian. These are potent archetypes and themes, because of the power dynamics of the domestic relationship and the ritualised experience of punishment.
This photo gallery made me pause, examine and interrogate my responses. It made me reflect on the nature of the relationships and fetishes depicted and the powerful emotions they provoke. In short, it got me thinking, and it made me feel something. Although that is not the same as being turned on, I was certainly stimulated. And that, folks, is what both porn and art are meant to do.
I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for strict teacher/naughty pupil spanking scenes, and Even Teachers Make Mistakes pushes all the right buttons. There’s the décor – crossed canes on the wall, Union Jacks to show the upholding of Proper British Values, and all the rest of it. There’s Pandora’s choice of bad-girl attire – super short denim shorts, and a tight Ace of Spades t-shirt. There’s the ritual ‘Oh but Sir!’, and the ‘Don’t answer back, get those knickers down!’ And then there’s the caning itself, expertly delivered and beautifully paced.
I like it when scenes like this are done with a knowing twinkle in the eye of each performer. In this film, I love watching Pandora’s face as the caning progresses; her little yelps and gasps for breath, and the way she chews her lip once the pain kicks in. I know some people find school caning fare a bit camp, but my tastes have always run to kink that is fun for all concerned - and despite Mike's strictness at the start, this film delivers. I particularly like the ending, which I won’t spoil for you except to say that it’s probably not quite what you might expect.
Over the years, I’ve done a fair bit of school-themed play and, of all the spanking things I’ve ever done, for me school scenes always seem to tend to end up with everyone involved nearly helpless with laughter, even while there are also tears of pain from whoever I’m whacking. I love to elicit tears in a reaction to a particularly hard stroke – but laughter and tears are more closely linked than some people think. No one actually gets to the point of giggling in Even Teachers Make Mistakes, but I couldn't help observing the occasional hint of enjoyment or trace of a smile which didn't quite seem entirely in character. For me, these moments of joy bubbling up through the strict disciplinary facade of the scene make the whole thing more enjoyable. I also spotted what I reckon was a hint of imminent tears from Pandora - which I liked even more.
Both Mike and Pandora clearly know one another well and are comfortable working together; apparently Danielle K, who was behind the camera, is a friend of Pandora's who is new to Dreams of Spanking. On the strength of this scene, I would say she fits right in – it’s a beautifully shot short film. I’m tempted to go get my cane, now, and see if there’s a willing bottom available, so I can practice some more until my tramlines are as precise as Mike Pain’s.
Audio porn is such a wonderful invention. You can curl up (with your hands free!) close your eyes and enjoy listening to Pandora Blake’s lovely voice narrating a naughty story just for you - like this one by Spanking Theatre.
Image from Instructed, another sexy spanking scene centred around a letter.
Message in a Bottle is an alluring story that pulls you in and stimulates your imagination. It’s a sexy little mystery with a wonderfully devious twist. We hear a tale of punishment for the previous night’s misdemeanours. It's hot, and oh so carefully delivered (the story, I mean - although the punishment is that too). This spanking audio story teases with a delightful mix of sensory deprivation, touch, anticipation, pain, taste and the pleasure of wanting.
We begin with a mystery letter. The recipient has been ordered not to open it until she is told to do so; hoping to be able to sneak a peek, she turns the envelope to find the same warning on the reverse. She has to sit through boring work meetings wondering what the letter contains; what promises or torments does the letter hold? When she is finally given permission to open it, the anticipation of the unknown shifts to the eagerness of arousal, and she spends the rest of her work day distracted by the instructions she has been given.
The description of her naked wait with senses deprived, perfectly builds the same expectation in the listener as in her. I love the way the writer has managed to convey the build-up of emotions, the careful detailing of the indiscretion she is now being punished for, and the lesson that is being delivered in the punishment.
A game is played. The picture that is painted in words of the rich scent of wine is heady and almost intoxicating. You are on tenterhooks waiting for her guess of the age of the wine, you can almost taste the mouth-watering aroma - and that’s when it happens…
I won't spoil the twist for you, but this erotic audio story tantalises in more ways than one. Give it a listen - it's a sensory delight on so many levels, and if you're anything like me it will arouse your imagination as well as other things.
I was scrolling back through the archive and realised that no-one had written a blogpost yet about Casino Correction. This seems like a missed opportunity, as this is a fantastic spanking film starring Pandora Blake and Mike Pain, with an original concept that I haven't seen before.
Croupier Pandora Blake has been called in for a meeting with her boss, casino owner Mike Pain. It seems she's been distracted on the job, messing up the sums and costing the casino money. The scene begins with the lovely Ms Blake pleading with Mr Pain to keep her job. When that doesn’t work she tries bargaining - it turns out she has an ace in her hand, and her friend in the IT department has told her that Mike likes to look at spanking sites on his office computer.
At this point it almost seems like she is in control, embarrassing Mike by revealing she knows his proclivity for watching spanking porn. She gets him to agree that she can keep her job in exchange for him giving her a spanking as punishment for all the things she messed up. That’s when everything switches, the power dynamic changes - and when Mike spins the roulette wheel Pandora realises it’s not going to be as easy as she thought.
There is something in the way Pandora is willing to say anything to keep her job, and the way Mike pauses before deciding he can definitely take advantage of her desperation. It's a delicious sense that he has been hoping someone, at some point, will ask him to punish them. A feeling that is reinforced by the fact that he keeps a paddle and belt in his office drawer.
I loved seeing Ms Blake laid over Mike’s lap, and squirming each time his palm hits her bottom. Her almost petulant “that really hurts!” was just perfect. Mr Pain is now in full control, and making sure she’ll remember her punishment clearly. When he brings out the leather paddle there is a moment when the camera focusses on Pandora’s wide-eyed look of shock which I particularly liked.
Things get even more fun when Mike lifts her skirt, and we are treated to the sight of the reddening cheeks of her bottom. The marks are lovely, and you can clearly see the edges were the paddle has hit. When he moves on to using a belt, I really enjoyed how clearly you could see each stripe where the belt landed.
As the behind the scenes video makes clear, Pandora is no stranger to the belt and really enjoys receiving it. I loved finding out exactly what it is that Mike does to make Pandora go "Yummy yummy yummy"! It was also fun to watch Nimue and Mike figure out how to best film the roulette wheel and watch a bit of footage that didn't make the cut in the final scene.
Spanking films where at least one of the characters are meant to be genuinely into spanking can sometimes end up feeling a bit camp or awkward - it's a bit of an odd dynamic, more complicated to bring to life than a more traditional straight-laced dynamic where it's purely about punishment. I know from watching Mike's intereview that he has a fetish for scenes where elaborate punishments are decided by characters who have a secret interest in spanking. Growing up kinky in South Africa, where corporal punishment was still used, his experiences shaped his interest in punishment as an outlet for private sexuality - but in situations where no-one would ever dare to admit it. There's a tension there, and I can really see the appeal.
The best bit of this scene though is the way Mike turns the tables on Pandora with the roulette wheel. The idea of a punishment where fate will decide how many strokes is seriously hot. There's no chance to bargain or wheedle out of it now - the wheel doesn't care how much it's going to hurt.
Since Dreams of Spanking launched, I've been impatient to edit and release The Victorian Brothel. I chose the image of me over Tom's knee, wearing bloomers and a corset, as the homepage header image back when I designed the site in the summer of 2011. I always intended to create a rotating gallery of images on that header, showing a wider variety of scenes, but somehow I never found time.
I was incredibly proud of this film when we shot it. This was my second ever shoot as producer/director, a day with Zille Defeu, her husband Duncan, our friend Jay, Tom and me. The first Dreams of Spanking shoot had just been me, Jay and Tom. Those early shoots were a steep learning curve for me.
Until The Victorian Brothel, every scene was a crash course in new aspects of filming that I had to work out from scratch. There was a lot of stopping and starting. Trying to juggle the mental demands of directing with the physical and emotional challenges of bottoming on camera, I found it hard to avoid getting stressed. But The Victorian Brothel was our final scene of the day, and it was the first scene I'd produced that felt like it went well at the time. With Duncan, Zille and Jay behind the camera, Tom and I got into character and the roleplay flowed. It felt as natural as the roleplay scenes we played in private. Trusting our friends to capture our live improvisation, I was able to immerse myself in the scenario, get fully into character, and surrender to the beating without having to balance that headspace with other, more technical concerns. As a result I was able to take a much harder spanking, paddling and caning than I usually can while performing/directing, and I was really happy about it.
That was over seven years ago, in early December 2009. The reason I didn't edit this film before the site launched, along with the other two scenes we shot that day - Caned in Jodhpurs and Liberated Ladies of the Jazz Age - is simple. The Victorian Brothel was originally written as part of a series of films entitled The Adventures of Molly Brown. I'd written several episodes of it; this was the fourth chapter in the story. I hadn't had a chance yet to shoot episodes one to three, but the shoot with Zille and Tom was a perfect opportunity to shoot the episode in which my character meets his for the first time. I very much intended to shoot the others at some point, however; and I wanted to wait and release them in story order.
Sadly, I never got a chance to film the backstory. Episodes one, two and three fell by the wayside. And when I realised that the age verification policy in the Digital Economy Bill was going to put a cut-off point on my ability to keep the site alive in its current form, I finally accepted that I wasn't going to get the chance to shoot them any time soon. Meanwhile, I'm trying to release as much of the content I care about while the site is still legal in the UK.
So Molly Brown's story starts here: with her first appointment with a new customer in Mrs Slater's brothel. An urchin who grew up in the streets and the workhouse, Molly was sent out to work for various undesirable trades, but somehow always found herself sent back to face the the steely glare - and the hard leather strap - of the beadle. When Mrs Slater turned up to see if he had any new girls for her, he packed her off to the brothel - and Molly's life entered a new chapter.
Scrubbed to within an inch of her life, Molly began her transformation into a girl Mrs Slater's customers might find appealing. She earned her share of licks from the madame, too; but it was nothing compared to the beadle's strong right arm. When Mrs Slater saw how well Molly took her punishment, she thought to send her to one of her more eccentric clients, a gent with a predilection for administering corporal punishment to the plump bare bottoms of comely wenches. Molly lacked the elegance and accomplishment of other girls, but she was resilient and quick-witted, and Mrs Slater saw the potential to train her up to please her more unusual clientele.
Molly took well to Mrs Slater's training, and was finally declared ready to meet her first customer. But although Molly is no stranger to taking a beating, she still is not particularly inclined to behave submissively. Sparks fly between her and the gent as he tries to bend her to his will, and her quick tongue and stubborn nature get her into more trouble than she'd bargained for.
So that's Molly's backstory. You never know, it's not impossible I might be able to shoot the previous episodes sometime in the future - although perhaps I'll look too different by the time the stars align, and I have affordable access to the venues and cast I need. In the meantime I think this scene stands well enough on its own. Although I can tell you now that the next chapter has also been shot, and will be released in the coming weeks, starring myself, Tom, and a new character played by Leia Ann Woods...
Coming back to this film to edit it, seven years after it was filmed, was a weird experience. Tom and I split up three years ago, and it was very strange to watch us on camera. I almost felt like I was watching someone else; and yet in other ways seeing us together all those years ago felt very real, and very personal.
I remember writing this scene for us to play. Although Tom plays a very overbearing, bullying character, and to the uninitiated perhaps this scene might be edgy enough to seem non-consensual, I can tell you for certain that this scenario was my fantasy, and performing it was an authentic act of self-expression. But it was fascinating and somewhat dissonant to watch this recording, a piece of my own personal history, and reflect on how much has changed since then.
There are some aspects of this film that I would definitely do differently nowadays. For instance, the way that Tom's patriarchal character throws around the word "whore" makes me wince, now, as an advocate of sex workers' rights who is fighting against stigma and whorephobia. These days I would seriously consider before I took on the role of a historical sex worker, but back then I didn't think twice.
Editing this, I had the opportunity to reflect on how far Dreams of Spanking has come - not only politically, but technically. The Victorian Brothel was shot before I knew to record audio separately from the cameras, or to use face lights. It was a frustrating edit in some ways, as I struggled to salvage a legible soundtrack from two cameras that both had audio isses - one picking up a lot of wind noise (from where I have no idea, given we were indoors), the other plagued by mechanical clicks and whirrs from the operation of the camera. But I feel like I've managed to massage it into a shape that communicates my vision, hopefully without too many technical distractions. I hope you'll forgive any that remain.
For me, the power of this film comes from the interaction between the characters. It's a hard corporal punishment scene, both physically and emotionally - the intensity brings me/Molly to tears towards the end. But not only is the spanking itself severe, the atmosphere of the scene is rife with tension. The scenario unfolds as a battle of wills between a cruel gentleman with particular tastes, and a spirited wench who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. I certainly took more strokes, and harder, than if Molly Brown had been submissive than rebellious. But I loved it.
Life has moved on since Tom and I filmed this scene. We are no longer together, and there have been many changes for both me and Dreams of Spanking. But this film holds a special place in my heart. It shows what Tom and I did best - hard, accurate spanking that pushes me to my limits, quick-witted dialogue, sparks flying between two strong characters, and Tom's trademark brand of elegant, articulate dominance.
When I filmed this scene, it seemed to encapsulate everything I wanted to achieve with Dreams of Spanking: immersive roleplay between real life partners, lush costumes and locations, and imaginative historical settings with a quirky sense of humour and a rich attention to detail. That was why I chose a still from this scene as our banner image - and why, although much has changed since then, I'm still very pleased to share it with the world.
Despite containing nakedness, over the knee spanking and hard caning, there is something almost innocent in these images. Maybe it's the Victorian setting, or Pandora's white flouncy underskirt. Whatever it is, it really gives this scene a romantic air that I love. It's a sort of nostalgia for a time I only know from books and films.
The Victorian Brothel starring Pandora Blake and Thomas Cameron is a gorgeous sepia photoset that manages to perfectly capture a sort of mentor/protegee experience. I think the slightly cheeky but nervous smile on Pandora's face as she looks up at him is one of the things that make me think of the asymmetrical power dynamic between a strict teacher and student who is eager to impress.
There is an innocence in the photos of Pandora as a Victorian wench getting ready to meet (and please) her new client. I love the image of her kneeling at his feet; the way her hands are tucked under her bottom, and she is looking at the floor but still turned towards him, and the smile on his face as he sits relaxed. It holds possibility; his hand resting on his knee looks like all he has to do is lift a finger and he will be touching her breast. It’s powerful; charged with sensual tension but not overtly erotic…and despite not being submissive, I find I can’t decide if I want to be on the floor or in the chair.
The sequence of photographs where Pandora is showing herself off for Thomas is fascinating. There is an air of confidence but also uncertainty. It conveys the feeling that she is proud of her body but not quite sure if the person she is showing off for approves. Even when she is laid over his knee she seems confused by his lack of apparent response to her charms - which makes her reaction to the first spank so delightful...
I love the careful way Thomas explores her; lifting her skirt, parting her white bloomers, stroking her bum, and skimming past her more delicate area before teasing with a finger, as if he is testing her readiness. The way he lines up the paddle while Pandora tenses, her face crunched as she prepares for the first impact of leather.
I think my favourite image in this set is the one of the cane impacting on Pandora’s bare bottom. The pose, composition, the way the heels lift her bare bottom, and the stocking tops frame the ‘impact zone’. I love how the cane is pressing into her flesh, bending slightly with the force of the stroke. Plus, it is a very lovely bottom, especially with that pattern of bruised stripes across it. It’s an image I have gone back to more than once.
Finally her punishment is over, and Thomas gathers Pandora on his knee. There is something really sexy about the way Pandora bites her lip as Thomas bites her nipple. The way he has her arms pinned behind her back just adds to the feeling. This is a really hot image, that gave me all the right kind of shivers. The film that goes with this photoset has just been released, and I can't wait to watch it because I think it will be hot hot hot.
The last image in the set reminds me of those collectable cards you used to get in cigarette packet, of the sexy ladies in their underwear. It has that air about it, Victorian pin-up perfection.
This is an elegant, evocative photoset with so many beautiful images in it. Which is your favourite?
Sometimes a good, long over the knee spanking is all you need to melt. To feel the stresses of the world around you slip away as you surrender yourself to sensation. And with this film, a no-frills, unscripted erotic hand spanking, you will feel yourself melting along with Pandora. I know I did.
Wearing beautifully elegant black lace knickers and hold-up stockings, it doesn’t take long for Pandora to be turned into a puddle of bliss. John Phillips’s firm hand takes her through a long, slow warm-up, ramping up the erotic tension and building a rhythm that has Pandora saying “yes please”.
Confession: that’s pretty much exactly what I was saying too.
There are so many things I like about this scene. Its rawness. The light (because I am both a sucker for beautiful light and also a massive nerd). The moments where the camera closes on Pandora’s face as she flashes us a grin of approval. The build-up to a climax of twelve hard spanks... plus a couple extra for good measure.
Don’t get me wrong; I love getting lost in a good story. I like frills. I like well-thought out scenarios and dramatic build up. But sometimes simple is the most effective way to my heart. And this scene is so gorgeous because of its simplicity. Just Pandora, receiving a delectable, shiver-inducing over the knee spanking.
Sometimes that’s all you need to melt. Even when you’re just watching.
Something as dark and sordid as blackmail is ripe for kink. Firstly there's the power-play element: where you're never quite sure quite who's got the upper hand. Secondly, the subversion of society's inclinations to make sex something dirty and sordid: excellent blackmail material.
In this week's scene, Ten Amorette take all of that darkness, wraps it up in her tight, smart, dress, and sashays over to politician Paul Kennedy's house with the aim of entrapping him in a sordid spanking scenario.
You can probably tell that this scene is inspired by House of Cards: when Pandora emailed me about it, she explained that she'd been watching a lot of the devious Netflix series at the time. I was delighted, because I personally find House of Cards a massive turn on: the machinations, the double-crossing, the fact that you never truly know what Frank Underwood is thinking, until he turns to camera and beckons you closer, giving you a keyhole glimpse into his evil plans.
In this scene, it's Ten Amorette who has the power, and politician Paul Kennedy who's caught in her honeytrap. But her exposition at the beginning of the scene is borrowed straight from those intimate moments during House of Cards, where the audience is invited to both fear and root for the 'bad guy.' Ten sits on the bed, putting the finishing touches to her outfit – tight dress and high heels, a real femme fatale costume - and explaining her hopes for the afternoon. She wants to make sure that she gets enough material to blackmail Paul. She's heard he's into some 'freaky stuff' in bed, and if she can draw his spanking kink out, then she should get the evidence she needs to truly screw him over.
Pandora explains that this technique was a new idea, which came up during a discussion at the feminist porn conference. The dilemma: how do you make performer consent explicit in a non-consent scene? Blackmail is a great test case for this, because either character can be the one doing the blackmailing. While you may have a spankee who is feigning reluctance to get spanked, in a blackmail scenario they're there because – like Ten Amorette in this scene – they want to get the payoff when they gather the blackmail material.
Of course in a scene with more characters, or one with a longer story arc, you can use conversations with other characters to make the blackmail plot explicit. But the House of Cards-style discussion means you can break the fourth wall without needing more characters, and it also gives it a delicious conspiratorial air. You, the viewer, are being invited along with Ten Amorette as she carries out her plan.
I think this conspiratorial atmosphere is one of the things that made House of Cards so sexy, and it's one of the things that adds to the hotness of Ten's blackmail porn scene. She gets to Paul Kennedy's house, and teases him into giving her an over the knee spanking. To someone who wasn't involved in the back story, it may look like your average playful sexy spanking scenario. But to us, the audience – Ten's co-conspirators – we know that she'll need a much harder beating if she's going to get the evidence she needs...