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How severe is too severe?

One of the things I've occasionally thought about, as a feminist who runs a spanking site, is content warnings. Fundamentally, the idea behind these is that if something might include content likely to trigger someone recovering from serious trauma, it's respectful to give notice in advance that the topic is likely to come up, so anyone who needs to can prepare themselves and isn't caught off guard.

I think it's a really great way of making material more inclusive. Yet I've never gone ahead and instituted content warnings on Dreams of Spanking, at least not overtly. What I do instead is to make the content of each scene very explicit in the tags and copy surrounding the film. I try not to spoiler plot twists, but I do often remove the element of surprise from how the story of a film unfolds, in the interests of pre-warning viewers what they can expect - both to catch the attention of people with particular niche tastes, and to pre-warn people who might find certain content distasteful or upsetting. So far, I've been happy with that system. But if any film on Dreams of Spanking has made me wonder if it should include a content warning, it's our latest film starring Tai Crimson.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

When I was editing Caned at Home, I found parts of it so extreme - both in terms of the severity of the physical punishment and the nastiness of the verbal degradation and emotional abuse - that it made me feel uncomfortable. The whole scene was shot in a single take, so I didn't see any out-of-character interactions to break the tension and reassure me that Tai was okay with what was happening until the scene was over. However, I needn't have worried. The moment "cut" is called, Tai bounces up and enthusiastically tells me that she could have taken double the number of strokes. In fact, she almost seems disappointed that the scene hadn't been harder.

So I decided to reuse a film format that I trialled during our ATVOD investigation (and which may have played a part in our successful appeal win, although it's hard to be sure); showing snippets of out-of-character performer interviews or behind the scenes interaction both before and after the main film, to contextualise the fantasy in the real-world context of the performers' tastes and desires. Since we won our appeal, I hadn't particularly felt the need to do this - especially with films where the fantasy shows pleasure spankings and explicit consent. But Caned at Home is definitely not one of these.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

If edgy domestic scenarios showing the disproportionately severe punishment of a helpless girl aren't a turn-off for you, Caned at Home has much to recommend it. In particular, the sequences of hard and fast cane strokes falling one after the other without a break are some of the most convincingly severe thrashing I've ever seen on a UK spanking site. Tai has a high tolerance, and this was the third time we'd played together; she'd asked me to push her to tears, and this was our last scene of the day, so there was no reason to hold back. As it turned out, even the nastiest verbal abuse I could come up with - and one of the hardest canings I've ever delivered on camera - weren't quite enough to break her.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

Perhaps you love severe caning and verbal degradation as much as Tai does, in which case Caned at Home will be right up your street. But if, like me, you prefer to know for sure that the performers were into it before watching a scene of this intensity,  I recommend watching the performer interview and behind the scenes video first, to reassure yourself that no only was Tai unharmed by the making of these scene, but actively enjoyed it. It's lovely to work with a young woman who is so in touch with her kinky sexuality, and so articulate at expressing her fantasies and fetishes.

Tai Crimson is caned at home by Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

Besides, severe canings that leave livid welts are most definitely not BBFC-compliant. Dreams of Spanking is currently the only UK spanking site where you can watch material like this, and we will remain so until the Digital Economy Bill means we have to stop, too. So enjoy it while you can.

The therapeutic benefits of spanking

A few years ago a news story broke online which caused a stir amongst spanking enthusiasts. Doctors in Siberia had been promoting a new "whipping therapy" to treat patients suffering from addiction and depression. A 2005 article describes how "Russian scientists from the city of Novosibirsk, Siberia, made a sensational report at the international conference devoted to new methods of treatment and rehabilitation in narcology. The report was called “Methods of painful impact to treat addictive behavior.”" The idea is that addiction and depression often are caused by decreasing production of endorphins - and the pain caused by corporal punishment can stimulate endorphin receptors and rekindle the "production of happiness". The scientists recommended that consenting adults judged psychologically fit for the treatment receive a course of thirty sessions, each consisting of 60 cane strokes on the buttocks, accompanied by counselling and therapy.

Although the therapeutic effects of corporal punishment practised by enthusiasts can hardly claim clinical success, all of us who enjoy spanking know how beneficial it can be. Personally, I find that spanking - particularly caning - grounds me in my body, making me feel calm and centred. Being physically punished focusses me on my breath, in the moment, and quietens my busy mind. When you're being caned, you aren't thinking about anything else.

I find it reduces anxiety and irritability, increases my sense of my own resilience and makes me believe I have the power to tackle the things I'm struggling with, and increases my zest for life. Plus if it's done by the right person in the right way it can be very sexually exciting too.

I'm not a doctor, and it would be presumptuous for any of us to claim that our spanking practice is seriously rooted in medical science. But the idea of spanking as a form of treatment approved by the medical establishment is an appealing fantasy. Plus, it's an excuse for me to pull out my nurse uniform...

Nurse Pandora Blake administers therapeutic spanking therapy to Mike Pain in The Russian Treatment at Dreams of Spanking

In The Russian Treatment, patient Mike Pain has admitted himself to a specialist clinic after suffering from depression and malaise. The clinic is trialling an experimental therapy which uses the application of corporal punishment, beginning with hand spanking in the first session, then - in part 2 -  escalating to the strap and, finally, the cane.

Nurse Pandora Blake administers therapeutic spanking therapy to Mike Pain in The Russian Treatment at Dreams of Spanking

The treatment has many benefits. Spanking boosts the circulation and triggers the production of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers. Patients report that it reduces anxiety, relaxes them, and improves sleep and mood. Nurse Pandora is careful to explain everything before asking Mike to sign the consent form - but it turns out that Mike doesn't take much persuading.

Nurse Pandora Blake administers therapeutic spanking therapy to Mike Pain in The Russian Treatment at Dreams of Spanking

Lying over the nurse's knee on the bed, Mike surrenders to a firm hand spanking and deep bottom massage. He seems to take to the therapy very quickly... so quickly in fact that one can't help wondering whether this is the first time he's experienced something like this.

One week later, it's the final session of Mike's course of treatment. In the intervening time he's received daily spankings, including applications with the strap and cane; six strokes from Nurse Molly. Now, Nurse Pandora gives him another dose of the leather strap, administering ever harder strokes as Mike kneels on the wooden stool at the foot of the bed, his whole body rocked by the sharp blows.

Nurse Pandora Blake administers therapeutic spanking therapy to Mike Pain in The Russian Treatment at Dreams of Spanking

Finally, it's time for the last caning of the treatment. On the nurse's recommendation, he receives twelve very hard strokes - a level of punishment that not every patient can endure. On all fours on the bed, Mike's upturned bottom is exposed - and his groans show that the pain is real. Still, as he breathes into each strokes, it's clear that the treatment is having the intended effect.

I really enjoyed making this two part nurse spanking film with Mike Pain and videographer Nimue Allen. It's a fun, satirical take on the Siberian medical caning story, and I think you can tell from the camp dialogue how much the set-up amused us. But there's also an authentic side to this scenario, from the genuinely hard cane strokes Mike bravely takes, to the exploration of the therapeutic benefits of spanking. If spanking for health and wellbeing interests you, you could do worse than to start with the breathing techniques advocated by Nurse Pandora in these films. Just let the pain flow through you... and remember to exhale.

Nurse Pandora Blake administers therapeutic spanking therapy to Mike Pain in The Russian Treatment at Dreams of Spanking

What's so sexy about a leather belt wrapped around a wrist?

Girl on the Net: Woo yay! Let's talk sexy belt kink!

Pandora Blake: Yes! I have to say I'm really enjoying the responses to this set, both on the site and on Twitter. It makes me feel very good to have internet folks appreciating the hotness of my boyfriend. I'm particularly enjoying that he seems to have a goth girl fan base :)

GotN: Goth girl fan base does NOT surprise me in the least, being a kind of clumsy goth myself =) I actually really wanted to ask you about that - do you get pride-shivers when people tell you how hot D is? Like, is there a showing off how hot he is element to photosets and videos?

PB: Very much yes. It makes me feel proud, delighted and very smug to hear people compliment him - it's like, yes, isn't he gorgeous, thanks for noticing, and he's MINE. I feel the same way when he dates new people to be honest - it always makes me appreciate him a little bit more and feel very pleased and proud when I see people being attracted to him

GotN: Ooh, yes I can definitely see that. Also, obviously am grateful, being one of the people who very much enjoys perving on his photosets.

PB: It is quite literally my pleasure.

GotN: This set in particular seems to have struck a chord with lots of people - and obviously me too. One of the things that really got me about it was that photo with the belt round his wrist - whose idea was that?

PB: Oh, that was entirely mine. When I was first looking through the unedited photos to remind myself what we had to work with, I had a chat window open with him, and a few pictures leaped out at me and gave me this involuntary physical quake of lust, so I posted them to him in the chat. That photo of the belt wrapped around his wrist was one of them.

PB: I was directing the set - which I can do with a very clear head when I'm neither modelling nor taking the photos - and I remember staging that shot. Neither D nor Matt really got the point of it, but I was determined I wanted it. When I looked through the photos again there was this double pleasure of seeing that shot - the pure rush of desire at seeing an image that struck one of my kinks so perfectly, and the sort of meta-delight at having successfully created something that was so perfectly porn for me. That was my aim with this set, to shoot something very self-indulgent, so it was lovely to feel so clearly that I'd got it right.

GotN: Ohhh, that is so hot! And it totally reinforces for me why the best porn is often the porn that's made by people who have exactly those kinks. Looking at that picture I would never have thought to explain that specific shot to anyone - I'd never have told a partner to do that or why it would be hot - but it gave me that exact same kick, and looking at it I realised that someone who didn't share the exact same belt-kinks with me would have been unlikely to stumble on something that hot by accident.

GotN: Also: by self-indulgent do you mean 'this is the set I'd make for myself to wank to'? :)

PB: That's exactly what I mean.

PB: Specifically, I wanted to shoot something to suit my own tastes without any reference to whether it might be popular or not. I'd never heard of a reverse striptease before, and I wasn't sure whether a solo male dom set would make any money, but that wasn't the point of this - it was to please myself. That's one of the reasons it's been so validating to receive positive responses to it. I love knowing that my specific porn tastes which aren't commonly catered to are shared by others!

GotN: Oh I totally see what you mean there - and although this is going to sound horribly gendered I think that's why it's so important for me, as a mostly-straight woman, to see female-directed porn. The female gaze is not something that can just be captured by copying male-gaze porn and making it softer, or focusing heavily on genitals, or whatever: it really stands out when you see something made by someone who is behind the camera feeling genuine, kinky lust for someone. Not sure if I've explained it that well, but yep - I've struggled to explain female gaze to people before, and I think from now on I'm just going to direct them to this photoset.

 PB: So what is it about the belt-round-wrist that's so sexy for you?

GotN: Belts: sexiness beyond measure. I think of all the spanking implements they're my favourite. But it's not just that I love them: belts have something about them that many subby people can't resist. One of the most cited turn-ons for subs (in my general experience from sexy comments on my blog and etc) is that they love the sound that belts make when they're pulled out through the loops: that swish of a belt that says 'you're in trouble.' And then, on top of that...

GotN: Forearms are a stunningly hot feature, which does not get nearly enough love in my opinion. Biceps are often worshipped, but (I think I might be able to dig out the survey on this but not sure) forearms are one of the most frequently-cited turn-ons for women. Not sure what to call that - 'perv zones'? Lots of people perv on forearms, and yet they're rarely put front and center of a sexy scene. That belt-round-wrist thing combined D's gorgeous forearms with the symbolism of the belt, and then a slightly intimidating (in a domly hot way) blurred image of him in the mirror in the background behind. Unngh. So much hot.

PB: I LOVE forearms.

PB: For me, a strong looking forearm makes me think "I bet that person would be able to spank me really hard" more than a strong bicep does - perhaps because bicep worship is so common, it's more generalised rather than specifically a kink thing. (Although I do love biceps too.)

PB: That image is an interesting one - it doesn't prefigure any particular kink act; he's not wrapping it around his hand in preparation to hit someone with it. And yet the tension of the leather, the way it bites into teh skin of his wrist, the contrast between his smooth skin and the warm texture of the belt, and the firm grip of his hand, all suggest tension and strength and anticipation in a way that's incredibly powerful.

GotN: Oh yes! Strong forearms - and oh bracelets and tattoos on forearms too. Mmm. D's wearing quite a neat bracelet in that photoset as well, which draws attention to the forearm so nicely - the same way I'd wear a necklace to draw attention to a cleavage. More people should do this

PB: I love seeing that bracelet on him actually - it was a gift from a friend who made friendship bracelets for the whole friendship group in our favourite colours, and D wore his for ages. I still have mine too! It grounds the set in reality and reminds me that he's my real boyfriend with a life outside porn, as well as a super hot naked porn guy.

PB: So the reverse striptease. It was an idea I had ages ago, and I'm really pleased with the result. Does it work for you having him start naked and finish dressed?

GotN: YES! OMG so that was another thing I wanted to talk about. In general, I think my kinks tend towards guys who are either clothed or semi-clothed. This actually probably ties in to the hotness of bracelets and tattoos too: it's all about highlighting. Clothes draw your focus to a particular place. So in that photoset, you're kind of immediately plunged into 'oh, there's a seriously hot naked guy here', then as the set goes on, and the clothes go on piece by piece, it draws your attention to each feature. I LOVE it, and I would love to see more reverse stripteases in porn.

GotN: It actually reminds me a little of your calligraphy photoset with Adele Haze too - the words slowly covering the skin make you take your time looking at all the details of someone's body. So with D gradually covering himself over the course of the set, you get to go from full-on naked then take time to appreciate his forearms, the tone of his stomach, and each detail, before ending on his hands slipping into the leather gloves

PB: speaking of which, can we take a moment to just appreciate the hotness of leather gloves

GotN: ohhhh yes! Leather gloves are <3

GotN: Also: white shirts with black buttons, which you don't see much but which HOLY SHIT highlight D's hands as he's slowly buttoning up the shirt

GotN: I mean basically I am just 'splaining to you how hot your boyfriend is, but yeah :)

PB: It's all good!

GotN: I also wanted to ask you - is this your favourite D photoset? I've enjoyed loads of D on Dreams of Spanking, but I wondered if you have a favourite set or picture of him? Or as the director, do you love them all equally?

PB: The highlighting thing is an interesting one - I hadn't thought of it that way. For me, the reverse striptease isn't so much about revealing each feature as creating desire via unavailability. It's like, D is immediately available at the start so you see how yummy he is, but then as he goes from sleepy boy to gradually getting covered up, it has this slight distancing effect by making him seem older, more unavailable, and more dominant. For me lust has a lot to do with wanting without having, so for his body to go from revealed to covered increases the desire - as well as the specific clothes creating an aura of toppiness that has me squirming in my seat.

PB: This is my favourite D photoset right now, and I'm kind of obsessed with this picture that gives his beauty a rockstar pinup quality: I would totally have had that picture on my wall as a teenager. In fact I might make myself a print of it.

PB: But I'm also really fond of this set.

GotN: Oh I <3 Tangled With You too! You both just look so incredibly calm and happy in it. And I can definitely see why you'd have that rockstar picture on your wall - D has a really casually-hot vibe, like he's left the door to his rockstar dressing room open because he kind of hoped you'd walk in while he was getting changed.

PB: It's so lovely making porn with your lovers! I highly recommend it.

GotN: It's bloody wonderful for you to share it with us! I mean obviously we're kind of back to 'OMG your boyfriend is so hot' territory here, but on top of that it's incredible to see him through your eyes, if you see what I mean. I think it's a different perspective to the way it would be if you were strangers - there's a closeness as well as obviously your kinky eye, which picks up on the details that another director might not.

PB: Thank you! Full credit to Matt Christie as well for taking such superb pictures - he's got an amazing eye for light and composition, even if toppy men aren't his kink. I'd love to see more female photographers and directors shooting the men they love - I think you're right that the intimacy of shooting someone you're close to results in really special images. Here's to more sexy men in porn!

GotN: Amen to that!

Sign the petition against new UK porn censorship

If you read our last blogpost about the impact of the UK's impending Digital Economy Bill and want to know how you can help, I have something for you. This petition is hosted by the Open Rights Group, a UK organisation dedicated to campaigning for digital rights. It has over 11,000 signatures already, and you can sign it if you're in the UK or anywhere in the world - it only needs a name and email address to sign.

Why should you care? Here are the headlines:

  • By making age verification compulsory, this law will force UK internet users to surrender personal information to porn sites in order to be able to look at adult content. This might include your legal name, date of birth, address or phone number - a massive breach of personal privacy.
  • The Bill has no safeguards to protect this data, which means governments or private companies could collect everyone's browsing histories in a vast "porn database" - at huge risk of being hacked, sold or leaked.
  • The cost of running approved age verification software will fall to the website owner, who will be charged per age check - regardless of whether that user goes on to pay for porn. This will put most small, niche websites (including Dreams of Spanking) out of business.
  • As well as age verification, the Bill imposes the out-dated 'prohibited content' guidelines used by the British Board of Film Classification on the internet, reinforcing the bans brought in by the Audio Visual Media Services Regulations in 2014. So even behind age verification, it will be criminal for any site visible in the UK to publish images, stills or video depicting consensual adult sex acts including facesitting, fisting, female ejaculation, bondage with all four limbs plus a gag, and spanking or BDSM that leaves marks. (Dreams of Spanking is exempty from the AVMS regulations following our successful appeal, but this law will outlaw us all over again).
  • A new amendment to the Bill - added by MPs at committee stage, and publicly backed by the government - gives the new porn regulator the power to compel UK internet service providers to 'turn off' non-compliant websites and block them from being viewed by anyone in the UK. So any sites that don't (or can't) install sufficient age verification, and any sites that have include any "prohibited content" - even if that content is behind an age check and only visible to consenting adults - will be blocked at source. 
  • This is unprecedented censorship for a democratic country. It will give this government - and every future government - the power to block any sites it doesn't like. Perhaps it will only affect porn today; but it might be dissent tomorrow. 

We must act now to prevent this dangerous legislation from being passed - which will affect millions of people in the UK and worldwide. Blocking websites is a disproportionate, technical response to a complex, social issue. The UK’s children need education, not censorship, to keep them safe.

Sign the petition here to stop the creation of a new UK national censor.

Uncertainty

When you run a business, the conventional wisdom is to present a front of certainty at all times. If you're feeling ambivalent, the theory goes, don't let on; potential customers will pick up on it, and it might make them feel ambivalent too. It's better to hide your doubts, and manifest confidence and certainty that your product is the best there is. So the theory goes.

The problem is that if you're genuinely feeling ambivalent, it's hard to sound positive without it feeling fake. And if your business is founded on principles of authenticity, transparency and genuine self-expression, that fake feeling can amplify any feelings of ambivalence that already exist. It's a negative spiral. And if I'm truly honest, this is where I'm at right now with Dreams of Spanking.

Stopping and starting

When ATVOD first started investigating us, the site was going from strength to strength. Girl on the Net, AJ and I were working together as a solid team; we were earning international recognition and winning awards at film festivals. For the first time since we launched in 2011, I'd managed to get my own workload down to a manageable level. We were earning enough that everyone was getting paid - even me, and I've always made a point of paying everyone else before I take anything for myself.

After three years investing time, energy and money into the project, it was genuinely starting to pay off. I could even envisage a time when I might be able to hand over the video editing to a trusted colleague, and move onto new pastures while continuing to earn a little passive income from the project into which I had poured so much. Pensions are a tricky business for self-employed sex workers, but Dreams of Spanking was my first real chance at a nest egg. I didn't pay myself for most of the work I did nursing it to life in the beginning, but I was hoping that eventually, it would all work out.

Then ATVOD came to call, and after a gruelling investigation the site was forced offline for ten months. From a business perspective, this was a massive blow. Never mind that we were politically and morally vindicated in the end; we eventually won our appeal and earned the right to relaunch. My protestations that the AVMS regulations were unjust, and ATVOD was enforcing them unjustly, were eventually proved right when my appeal was upheld; but never mind that. The damage was done.

It's hard for any business to recover from an enforced hiatus. It's not just the loss of traffic and search engine rank; it's the human aspect too. Fans, promoters and affiliates get bored waiting and look elsewhere. If I'm honest, after my initial grief at ATVOD's verdict, my own focus has shifted too. During those ten months I was able to pursue other interests for the first time since I launched Dreams of Spanking. I travelled, exercised, got therapy, re-invested in friendships and relationships. I engaged with other forms of rewarding work. I made time for play. When I first heard the verdict I felt like my life had been taken away; but in some ways, the hiatus gave me my life back.

More pressingly, while the site was offline, the press attention surrounding the ATVOD verdict gave me the platform to to raise awareness about issues I cared about. I renewed my political activism, and launched a Patreon campaign to crowdfund the work I'm doing to challenge sex work criminalisation and promote sexual freedom. In the midst of trauma and loss from seeing the biggest creative project of my life destroyed, I was able to find a renewed sense of purpose.

Then it all got complicated again. Privately, I was told that I'd won my appeal - but that I couldn't announce it yet. I felt conflicted. I was happy to have won - but increasingly frustrated at having the rules of this game dictated to me; at not being free to express myself. The practicalities were stressful, too. I knew I would at some point be able to re-open the site, but that I wouldn't know when until much nearer the time. That not-knowing was hard. It was impossible to make plans; I didn't know if I could start new projects, or if I would suddenly have put everything else on hold to relaunch the site at short notice. When I launched Dreams of Spanking in 2011 I had created a fulltime job for myself. In 2015 that was taken away without my consent; and now it was being thrust back on me, and in some ways, I felt just as powerless. It felt like whatever steps I took to build a fulfilling, self-actualised life for myself, the government would stick their oar in and mess up my plans.

Of course I'm happy Dreams of Spanking won our appeal. Ofcom made the right decision; ATVOD should never have ruled against us, and the law and the whole investigation was unjust from the start. But the disruption was devastating both financially and personally, and picking up the pieces and trying to rebuild it didn't make the whole thing right again. After winning the appeal, it wasn't like the investigation had never happened.

So we co-ordinated the announcement of the appeal win, and in June I finally re-opened the site. But I was permitted a mere four weeks to enjoy our victory before the next cloud appeared on the horizon.

And now, after so many ups and downs, the future of Dreams of Spanking is still depressingly precarious.

The costs of age verification

The Digital Economy Bill is currently going through Parliament, and has just come to the end of its committee stage. The section of the Bill introducing compulsory age verification for all adult sites accessible from the UK will have a serious impact on Dreams of Spanking, and on many other adult websites.

Complying with this legislation will be difficult, if not impossible. First of all, I'll have to overhaul the whole site structure of Dreams of Spanking. Any content that would be classified as "18" or higher will be illegal to publish publicly, on the open internet. So video, images and audio that contain any nudity, bums or spanking will need to go behind intrusive, privacy-violating age checks.

To prove you're over 18, you'll have to type in sensitive personal details such as your legal name, credit card details, date of birth, address or phone number. That data will be visible not to me, but to whatever age verification system I install - private companies that are free to operate unregulated, and without having to safeguard the security and privacy of your personal data.

Not only is this terrible for you, it's terrible for me. Every age check will cost me money - estimates range from £0.05 to £1.50 per check. Dreams of Spanking currently receives over two thousand visitors a day (under half the traffic we had before ATVOD forced us offline), so the cost of checking the age of every site visitor would add up to significantly more than the site's total revenue - and that's before we take into account existing costs such as production, paying my team members, and bandwidth. In other words, complying with the age verification law will immediately put the site out of business.

Even if I can somehow persuade enough of those two thousand visitors to buy memberships that I can afford to verify all their ages, the site will never be the same. This law will mean no more public previews. No free trailers, no preview images, no free hosted galleries, no birthday spanking giveaways, no Creative Commons projects and no charity caning films. No more getting around CCBill's content restrictions by giving material away.

No more transparency, and no more free porn.

The value of giving things away

When I launched the site, it was hugely important to me that I didn't follow the standard paysite model. You know the one: some garish tour pages with flashing banners and fleshy montages, with all the actual scene previews, video trailers and so on behind a paywall. It's a scarcity based business model; the only way you can get to see the good stuff is by paying. I personally believe that's one reason why piracy has been such a problem for the porn industry - people resent having the content they want to see withheld, and it motivates them to buck the system by filesharing.

Instead, I wanted something closer to a loyalty model. Rather than trying to force a situation where buying a membership is the only way you can see Dreams of Spanking films (which is impossible when filesharing is so common), I wanted to make it so that people wanted to support the project. The idea of the model I came up with is that I give lots away, and you trust you know what you're getting if you do decide to pay. The brand gets more visibility; you feel more included. Everyone wins.

I have no desire for my porn to pop up in the browsers of young children who won't know how to assess what they're seeing, and might be distressed by it. But I don't use popup advertising, and Dreams of Spanking doesn't have high enough search rank for children to "accidentally" stumble across it. Even if a child did somehow find the link to the homepage, they'd have to click through the content warning page, scroll down, and click again on a link to an individual scene in order to see anything other than tiny thumbnails. 

It is, I admit, possible that older teens, who are already interested in exploring their sexuality - and who may well be over the age of consent for sexual intercourse - might look for erotic content online, and find Dreams of Spanking. Realistically, this is unlikely to happen unless they're explicitly searching for "spanking". And if curious young people - perhaps wrestling, as I did, with the fear that because they fantasise about spanking there's something wrong with them - type "spanking" into a search engine and end up here, then at least they'll see a site that prioritises consent. They'll see interviews, behind the scenes videos, comments, and respectful copy that celebrates the whole personhood of our performers. They'll see body positivity, queer inclusivity, and gender equality.

If sexually curious teenagers are going to look for porn, I'd rather they found my porn than some of the other stuff that's out there, because at least then they'll be receiving healthy, positive messages about negotiation, communication, body image, gender, and consent.

Free previews are valuable to adult viewers too. I want kinky queer people, kinky fat people, and kinky people of colour to be able to see people in porn who look like them. No-one with a spanking fetish deserves to feel shame about their kink. I want as much of the site as possible to be public, because I want as many people as possible to become resilient to the sex-shaming and kink-shaming that are so prevalent in our culture - regardless of whether or not they can afford a membership.

If I was independently wealthy and could operate Dreams of Spanking as a free site, believe me, I would. Even as it is, the total pay I've drawn from the business over five years adds up to way less than a living wage.

So these core principles of transparency, visibility, and open dialogue about kink, diversity and consent, are absolutely fundamental to the Dreams of Spanking manifesto. And now, the age verification law will make it impossible for us to uphold them. Everything will be locked down, hidden away.

The legislation applies to audio and still images as well as video, so those won't be exempt. This blog will cease to be publically visible; all the discourse I have engaged in over the years about how to make porn in an ethical and feminist way will cease to be findable via Google. Years of careful tagging to make our scenes show up in searches will be destroyed in a single blow: you won't be able to find Dreams of Spanking via a search engine any more. It will be like a return to the secret libraries of Victorian England: only accessible to the wealthy, to those in the know, those with the privilege to not have anything to lose by sharing their identity or risking their privacy

One of the many ways in which the internet has been a positive force for change is that it has opened up the discourse about sex and sexuality; made the topic more visible, invited more people to share experiences and insights, and helped all of us feel less alone. Now, just as we are really starting to see the benefits - in terms of better social understanding and acceptance of sex and gender diversity than ever before in our history - this law is going to shut that discourse down. Sex will become taboo again. You shouldn't talk about it, not in public spaces. It's dirty. You should be ashamed. Think of the children.

Actually, I do think of the children. I know that societies with more open attitudes towards porn have lower rates of sexual violence, STI transmission and teen pregnancy. I know that children growing up with marginalised sexualities - whether queer or kinky - often feel isolated, especially in rural communities. I know that this isolation can cause severe mental health issues, and even lead to suicide.

I know that young people need better sex education which is based around consent, pleasure and how to stay safe, provided by parents and teachers who aren't propagating their own sexual shame.

I know that humans are often sexual and often curious about it, and that if we don't talk to young people about porn they'll find it anyway, whether or not they have the resources or resilience to critically interpret what they're seeing. I know that shutting porn in a locked room and only giving keys to the rich is not the answer. It will not help our culture be healthier, or better informed, or more accepting or responsible about sex.

Prohibited content

That's bad enough. But the problems with the Digital Economy Bill go deeper than that.

Even if I somehow manage to fully comply with the legislation: hide everything spanking-themed on the site behind age checks; find the money to check the ID of every non-paying visitor who wants to browse my free previews; survive the loss of traffic and Googleability - even if I can stomach the disappearing of this blog, the behind the scenes videos, the performer interviews, and the discourse about ethics and consent - the site still can't survive, because every scene that was criminalised by the AVMS regulations will be recriminalised by the Digital Economy Bill.

ATVOD found us in breach because they ruled that some of our videos depict corporal punishment that leaves 'lasting' marks. We won our appeal on the basis that the principle purpose of the site is not commercial, and it is not in competetition with mainstream broadcast media. That victory won us an exemption to the AVMS Regulations 2014. But the AVMS didn't invent the rules around what content is banned; it drew them from existing classification guidelines used by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) for films and TV.

The guidelines prohibit any depiction of pain play that leaves marks on the body beyond those deemed "transient and trifling" from classification even as R18, the highest classification category in the UK. Basically, under the current rules you can't show any act which would constitute assault or actual bodily harm, or any act which would risk injury to the viewer if it were imitated. So no caning, no belting, no welts, no bruises - and that's before we get into the bans on things like facesitting, breath play, fisting, squirting, watersports and "full" bondage, defined as the restraint of all four limbs plus a gag.

The AVMS regulations were the first instrument of UK law to apply those classification guidelines to material published on the internet. We've enjoyed a heady few months of official exemption from them: but now the Digital Economy Bill uses those same guidelines to control what can and can't be published online. If the Bill is passed it will be illegal to publish any 'prohibited content' even behind age checks. Let that sink in: even age-verified, consenting adults who have handed over their real names and addresses to prove their age won't be allowed to look at spanking videos that show marks.

So we're about to be recriminalised. And I can only assume that every other UK law affecting online pornography from now on will use the same prohibited content guidelines. If this law passes next March, as I'm told it will, then our victorious relaunch will barely have lasted longer than the enforced hiatus that preceded it.

What are our options? One thing is certain: stubbornly refusing to comply, incurring the wrath of the regulator, going through another investigation, another hiatus, another appeal - it's not an option. Either for me personally at an emotional level, or financially, from a business perspective.

I could try to comply with the age verification requirements: swallow my pride, compromise my core principles of transparency and visibility, and hope that I get away with there being prohibited content behind the age check. But it seems like a doomed proposition - even if I could afford age verification in practice, which seems unlikely. My public profile is too high, my reputation as a troublemaker too entrenched, for me to avoid scrutiny. And there's no way to avoid publishing prohibited content: under the current guidelines, nearly all our content is banned.

Moving the site overseas might seem my best remaining option - but the Digital Economy Bill applies to overseas sites as well as UK ones. The only way I could do it would be to install IP checks that made the site totally inaccessible from the UK. In effect, I would no longer legally be able to view my own website. I might be able to continue working for the site in some capacity, but I would no longer be able to own it, control it, or in fact see it. 

As far as I can see, my best option is to challenge the problem at source, and push for a review of the classification guidelines - specifically the ceiling for R18 content - and of UK obscenity law more generally. So for the last couple of months I've been working with Backlash, Myles Jackman and other political allies towards this goal. We are challenging the Digital Economy Bill and pushing for a comprehensive review of the laws surrounding porn and BDSM in the UK.

If you want to support these efforts, you can pledge a dollar or whatever you can afford on Patreon, to help me pay my rent while I do this political work. You can sign and share the petition for personal privacy and sexual freedom. And if you can buy a site membership from time to time, even better.

But a comprehensive review of obscenity law is a long-term goal; and in the meantime, I have to accept that it's unlikely I'll be able to change the law in time to save Dreams of Spanking from being outlawed next spring.

The hard questions

All this has been going around my head since the Digital Economy Bill was published on the 5th July. Here are some hard truths, which I have come to admit only grudgingly:

  • At best, no matter what I do, it's unlikely I can keep Dreams of Spanking open beyond the end of 2017.
  • My political campaigning via Patreon, particularly my efforts to challenge UK obscenity law, is the most important and fullfilling work I am doing at present. Realistically, activism takes precedence over creating new Dreams of Spanking content for me right now, both emotionally (political work feels more urgent at the moment than making spanking videos) and strategically (Dreams of Spanking doesn't have a future unless I do this work, and do it well enough to succeed). 
  • After staff costs, bandwidth costs and other expenses, since relaunching Dreams of Spanking has only been able to pay me minimum wage for the time I've spent on it. It is therefore not possible for me to work fulltime on Dreams of Spanking at this point in my life: it doesn't pay me enough to live on, and my political work is both more urgent, and more important. 

All these add up to a strong argument for putting the site on ice now; gracefully retiring Dreams of Spanking to focus on other goals, rather than suffering the humiliation of clinging on to the last possible moment before it's wrenched away again. But I haven't done this, and I don't intend to.

Perhaps it's just stubbornness - it wouldn't be the first time that attribute had made my life more difficult than necessary. But to counter the above, I have good, valid reasons for keeping going.

The first is, quite simply, closure. The worst aspect of the ATVOD verdict was not being able to publish the content I had already filmed; it was a brutal disruption of my creative process. Winning my appeal was a victory for my right to express myself. I've won the right to publish that content, and I want to damn well publish it. Not just because I can, but because appealing that verdict was a 'fuck you' to unjust laws and a prejudicial regulator. I held fast to my principles, I fought, and I won. I intend to continue in that spirit.

Giving up now would be letting them win after all; it would betray everything I've fought for. Not getting that closure would leave me feeling unsatisfied and incomplete. I'm willing to accept that it doesn't make sense to shoot much new content now, given I may not get a chance to publish it. But the work I've already done was created as a true self-expression, and my intention was always to share it with the world. I want closure on that creative process before I move on to the next phase. I want to finish what I've started.

Secondly, this decision doesn't only affect me. Another dreadful consequence of the ATVOD decision was that it wasn't just me who was affected - my team members lost out too, and with even less control over the situation than I had. I was prepared to pay the price for my stubbornness, but it also impacted everyone who works for me. I try my hardest to be a good boss, and that means not making my whole team redundant if I don't have to. Doing so mere months after giving them their jobs back would be particularly cruel.

I feel too ambivalent, too uncertain, and too conflicted to be confident about quitting when it won't just affect me, but will also directly affect the financial stability and wellbeing of people I care about. The Dreams of Spanking project is a complex ecosystem; my own self-care isn't the only relevant factor.

But it's an incredibly difficult situation. Do I continue updating Dreams of Spanking while I still can, try to make the best of it, promote it enough to cover costs while I keep it ticking over - all at the same time as trying to campaign against the laws that will otherwise inevitably kill it? Or do I stop spending time editing and promoting new videos, put the project back on ice, and free up more time for activism, to give myself the best possible chance of defeating this terrible law?

This question isn't going to go away. And it's an impossible bind.

I can tell you this much: for now, I've decided to keep Dreams of Spanking running. I have a content schedule mapped out until March next year. Before then, I'm going to run out of male submissive scenes, and at that point I need to decide whether to re-invest in a project that is already barely covering costs, and risk ending up with more content I can't publish; or whether to compromise another the core principle of the site, and stop maintaining the gender diversity of new updates.

I don't know the answer to that question. And even not changing my plan, continuing to reflect while maintaining the status quo, is a decision that has consequences. Every month I keep the site running, I'm spending time on Dreams of Spanking that I'm not spending challenging the law.

I've been trying to balance these conflicting priorities for five months already. You have probably noticed that the content going out each week is different than it used to be. To free up time for the political campaigning I'm doing, I've been publishing shorter updates, more solo videos, POV scenes, audio stories and photosets. There has been a new update every week, but I'm no longer committed to a new spanking video plus performer interview plus behind the scenes video plus photoset every week, because maintaining that schedule is a fulltime job, and if Dreams is my fulltime job, I'm not doing the political work that is its only chance of longterm survival.

Deciding how much time to spend on the site, how much to delegate, is an open question; one I revisit every week. So far, I've been feeling my way through these thorny issues as best I can, with a heart full of uncertainty.

I've tried to be open and transparent with the rest of the Dreams of Spanking team throughout the process, but when I sent them the draft of this blogpost it was the first time most of them fully realised how precarious the future of the site really is. And now you know, too.

Where do we go from here?

I wish I could end this post on a positive note. It would, perhaps, be good business practice to reassure you that for now I'm committed to keeping the site alive (I am), that we have hot new content lined up for this week (we do), and that I won't stop updating the site without giving all of you a decent amount of notice (I won't). I could urge you to join now while you still can. I could sing the praises of our archive, which is bursting at the seams with high-quality spanking films available for all members to both stream and download.

But the truth is, this is hard, and no amount of positivity or spin will make it less hard.

So instead I invite you to stand with me, in this undeniably difficult and demoralising situation.  I invite you to understand, perhaps, why not every site update at the moment is as substantial as I would like it to be. And I invite you to share my anger at the injustice of criminalising consensual adult activities that do no harm and bring pleasure to so many. Your empathy and shared outrage has kept me going before, and it is always welcome. 

I can promise you new erotic content every week: always spanking themed, always ethically produced, always the authentic expression of my kinky sexuality. I can promise you at least one fully-realised, action-packed spanking film every month, with a behind the scenes video and a photoset - and that if it is ever possible for me to publish more than one, I will. I can promise that I will continue to fight these terrible laws that tell us we should be ashamed of our kink. I can promise to devote as much time and energy as possible to political campaigning, lobbying and activism, challenging porn criminalisation and promoting sexual freedom.

And I can promise to be honest, genuine and heartfelt in my work on Dreams of Spanking - always.

Spanking Adele Haze - with glitter!

Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

How do you make Adele Haze's beautiful big bottom in lace panties even prettier? It's a tough question. That creamy skin and those perfectly round cheeks are already extremely pleasing to the eye - and to the hand. But after some thought, I came up with a way to enhance her natural loveliness - and it involved a bottle of baby oil, and four tubs of glitter.

Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

A red hand print on pale flesh is very fetching - but it's even more fetching when it glints and sparkles, catching the light as she wiggles her bottom in response to a hard smack.

Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

As we shot this gallery with photographer PWPimages, we learned that glitter spanking is different from normal spanking. Just as quickly as I'd slapped red, silver, blue and green glitter onto Adele's bum, adding extra smacks on top would spank the glitter off again. It resulted in some delightful puffs of sparkles - there's something very lovely about a cloud of glitter filling the air in response to a firm hand spank. I love getting visual feedback from a spanking, whether writhing and kicking, or pinkening of the skin. Adding glitter to the mix just made every spank that much more dramatic - and more sparkly!

Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

But we realised that if we wanted to end up with Adele's bottom covered in glitter - and we very much did - that I needed to amend my technique. We discovered that a different hand position and slower spanks were the key to layering all the colours on Adele's full cheeks, until every inch of her bottom was glittering with colour

Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

And then, of course, I had the pleasure of spanking it all off again.

Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking
Glitter spanking with Adele Haze and Pandora Blake at Dreams of Spanking

I love these photos - and there's more to come. Trust me when I tell you that glitter spanking is even more eye-catching when you add video... watch this space!

Loving discipline for submissive boy Fauni Cate

Is there any better remedy for the stress of adult life than going over the knee for a long, loving spanking? For Fauni Cate, that's certainly his preferred way to deal with it when things at work start to get too much. He has a long-standing relationship with his paternal disciplinarian, Dr Richard Barton, and an open invite to call and come round whenever he needs to.

Still, the fact that Fauni needs - and craves - this punishment doesn't mean he isn't nervous. This male/male spanking scene opens with him arriving at the house, biting his lip and clearly struggling with last-minute anxiety about what awaits him, before he summons his courage and rings the bell. Dr Barton lets him in, and asks how things are going. Fauni stammers with nerves as he quietly confesses that he feels in need of some spanking, struggling to meet his disciplinarian's eye.

During the out-of-character conversation before shooting this scene, Richard and Fauni negotiated what they want to happen, and it's clear that both participants are on the same page. Fauni is fond of age play and paternal domestic discipline; and Richard finds a scene like this very authentic, as he provides this sort of discipline in real life from time to time, for boys who come to visit him for spanking. That sense of mutual collaboration and consent continues within the scenario itself.

The mood is caring and nurturing as Dr Barton asks Fauni what would suit him best - a spanking punishment with implements, or an OTK hand spanking? The pair reach a decision together, and it's obvious that although Fauni is putting himself in Richard's hands, he also fully wants and needs some loving discipline. Dr Barton fetches a wooden chair from by the wall, places it in the centre of the room and tells his submissive boy, "You know the drill", and Fauni does indeed: he obediently bends over Richard's lap and offers his bottom for punishment. Richard begins smacking with a brisk pace over Fauni's jeans, before ordering him to take them down, and continuing Fauni's punishment over his underwear, and finally on the bare until Fauni's bare bottom is bright red.

Loving discipline with Fauni Cate and Dr Richard Barton at Dreams of Spanking

Fauni is a brave boy, and this discipline session isn't given in anger. Dr Barton reassures Fauni that he's taking his punishment well, and that he's proud of him. Still, Dr Barton has a hard hand, and Fauni can't help wriggling and gasping as the spanks rain down without a pause. Finally he is told to get up and undress. Totally naked, Fauni seems that much younger and more vulnerable as the consensual power exchange between the two men is completed, and he fully submits to Dr Barton's dominance.

That submission is tested when Fauni is invited to select an implement from the ones laid out on the bureau. His hand hovers over several, picking them up and considering them before settling on a heavy leather strap. He brings it to Richard and offers it to him, looking every inch the good boy.

Loving discipline with Fauni Cate and Dr Richard Barton at Dreams of Spanking

Dr Barton is surprised by his choice, and once his charge is in position over the arm of the sofa, he tells Fauni that he's picked out a very fierce implement. He wants to check; does Fauni knows what he's in for? Fauni is determined to get the stress relief spanking he needs, and it seems that he's in the mood to receive a severe strapping. But as Dr Barton begins, it's clear that this strap is no joke. Has Fauni bitten off more than he can chew, and will the ferocious sting of the leather strap prove too much for him?

Loving discipline with Fauni Cate and Dr Richard Barton at Dreams of Spanking

Fauni is adorable in this scene, with some fantastic facial reactions as he receives his punishment. I love the closing shot of Fauni kneeling naked by Richard's feet, receiving some tender caresses and looking up at his top with adoring eyes. You only have to hear the way Fauni spontaneously cries out "Yes..." as the intensity of the spanking increases to know that this is truly what he needs.

Loving discipline with Fauni Cate and Dr Richard Barton at Dreams of Spanking

The dark fantasies of Tai Crimson

The reason Dreams of Spanking is called dreams is that one of the core concepts of the site is to clarify the boundary between fantasy and reality. This is important to me because my fantasies are often fucking twisted.

I get off to thinking about being bound, violated, totally helpless, and punished against my will. This does not mean I endorse or desire non-consensual acts in real life: far from it, my edgy fantasies make me more invested in enacting and promoting good consent and communication, and in making sure I don't ever take advantage of anyone, or let myself be taken advantage of. Those of us with dark sexual psyches have good reason to think hard about the ethics of erotic power, and how to play with these ideas in a safe, securely-contained space that doesn't impinge on the real world. Actually doing something to someone against their will might be fine to dream about, but it's totally off-limits in reality.

So exploring that boundary line, where dreams end and reality begins, is one of the ideas behind this site: that's why we never publish an edgy non-consent fantasy without accompanying it with behind the scenes videos, out-takes and performer interviews, to show you that fantasy is just fantasy, and make visible the reality behind it. It's also become a policy of mine to not write non-consent scenarios for performers. If I come up with a film idea that is really dark and twisted, I'll either play the submissive role myself, or assign it to another performer only after they've raised the idea of shooting something similar; in that case, I'll run the script past them and amend it to suit their taste before we shoot. But my preference is to work with spankees who have a strongly-developed sense of their own kinky sexuality, and who come to the shoot with scenario ideas of their own.

That's one of the many, many reasons why Tai Crimson was such a pleasure to work with. 

When we were making plans for our second shoot with her - the first since she came out as transgender - she sent me the link to her sex menu, and invited me to peruse it before coming up with scenario ideas. Reading it, I learned two things: firstly, that Tai is the most self-assured teenage pervert I have ever met, and secondly, that she is even filthier than I am. A lot of the stuff on Tai's sex menu already takes me out of my comfort zone - for instance, her fetish for "swirlies", which is when a bully shoves your head in the toilet and flushes it. Luckily, I'm relatively practised at navigating discomfort, and perfectly happy to up the ante and add further twists and intensity until the scenario comes back into the realm of my own twisted imagination. Sometimes two wrongs really do make a right. For instance, one of the scene negotiations went like this:

me: (reads Tai's sex menu) How about a school bully scene including slapping, spanking, wedgies and (maybe) swirling, with Nimue topping Tai?

Tai: Oh gosh, yes! Struggling/roughhousing that leads to being facesat on & taunted might be a nice addition as well. Plenty of fun bully stuff to toss in as well - like, say, having armpits shoved in my face. (My ass, thighs, and tits are also open for punching!)

me: Awesome! How about having you be cousins, or even foster siblings in a shared home, and it be an after-school type thing with both of you still in uniform? With Nimue threatening to get you in trouble if you don't do what she says - actually having you both be in care would make this EXTRA edgy, as she could threaten to get you kicked out. If that's too dark, I will totally understand :)

Tai: Personally, it's dark enough that it just made me wet. Which is a resounding yes.

The shoot was at my place, and we were together for two days and two nights. The first day was spent shooting trade content for Nimue's World, and Tai's forthcoming Amateur Porn studio. I got to witness the filthy hotness that is Tai first hand, viewing some incredibly hot scenes from behind the camera. Tai and Nimue have great chemistry, and I really enjoyed watching it develop over the course of the day. For Nimue's site we shot a bathroom control scene, an introductory striptease, a tit torture photoset and a queer sex scene; and for Tai's clip store it got even kinkier, with a figging and anal ice cube scene, a bondage and tickling scene, a super-edgy interrogation scene, and a forced intoxication/breath play scene where Tai was forced to smoke weed and hold it in, only breathing when Nimue permitted her to. I have to admit that it's unusual for me to feel like the least kinky person in the room, but there's no denying that Tai and Nimue are way ahead of me.

So by day two, shooting four videos and two photosets for Dreams of Spanking, we were all warmed up and ready to roll. Last time we shot with her, we didn't get the chance to shoot an introductory photoset with Tai, as the day was already over-full getting all the shots we needed for our cinematic production Houseboy. So this time, we kicked things off with a cutesy photoset of Tai as an adorable schoolgirl, showing off her new girly look, her spankable bottom, and her puffy, newly developing breasts. 

I quickly discovered that shooting an innocent photoset with Tai is pretty much impossible. She loves being looked at, and as she removed her clothes the evidence of her arousal became more and more visible. This gallery is going live on the site this week, so you don't have to wait much longer to see how horny she got...

Throughout the shoot, Tai was taking selfies and updating her Twitter - which I thoroughly recommend following. I love this behind the scenes shot of her spread-eagled on the bed before our next scene, posting to the internet while she waited for me to be ready:

The next scene was another photoset - this time a domme/sub scenario with me using Tai's body as a pretty canvas for colourful hot wax. I bought these coloured play candles from Kink Craft at Eroticon earlier this year - they're lovely people, and I highly recommend their toys! I've played with wax before in private, but never brought it into a shoot. Tai was the perfect model, whimpering (and getting more and more turned on) as the wax dripped on her body - including in her most intimate places.

I really enjoyed covering her in colours to match my bedspread, making her wriggle and squirm, and seeking out all her sensitive spots. We also learned that the wax that burned hottest was the black one - and it left Tai with some lovely pink marks, as well as the beautiful decoration of the wax itself.

Once Tai had brushed all the wax off (and we'd shaken out the sheets!) we stayed in the bedroom for our first video - a more sexually explicit scene than the usual fare on Dreams of Spanking. When I first shot with Tai, she mentioned how much she loved anal play and big butt plugs. These are two of my favourite things too, and initially the Houseboy script had an extra femdom BDSM scene where I tormented Tai in all sorts of delicious, sexy ways. Sadly, we had to cut it due to lack of time, so when I planned to shoot with her again I was even more eager to make sure we got the chance to indulge in some butt play.

Tai is infamous for her love of anal CP - that is, smacking the butthole itself, rather than the buttocks as in traditional spanking. It's more exposing, more humiliating, more intimate and much more vulnerable. It's one of my big kinks too, and I was thrilled to have the chance to explore it on camera with a fellow queer femme who gets it.

Finally, once I'd warmed up Tai's hole, her cheeks and her thighs with smacks of my hand and my whippiest implements, the scene culminated with a strap-on fucking with my biggest dildo. This isn't the first time I've done this on camera, but it is the first time on Dreams of Spanking. Tai took it beautifully, and the scene was very real, very powerful, and very hot. It was an honour to explore something new together on film, and I can't wait to share the results with you.

After lunch, we moved to the lounge for the foster home bullying scene mentioned above. I got to take a break from performing, and it was gorgeous watching Nimue and Tai work their magic, with Tai as the new kid in the home, and Nimue as the boss bitch who smacks her around. This scene was straight out of Tai's filthy imagination, combining forced undressing, some tit and face slapping, lots of super edgy degradation and verbal abuse, over the knee spanking, wedgies and - last but not least - the ultimate humiliation: shoving Tai's face in the toilet, and flushing it.


I would never have written this scene if Tai hadn't listed all of these acts in such glowing, horny terms in her sex menu. Watching this scene unfold from behind the camera was a real treat. It's lovely to know that after ten years in porn, things can still surprise me - and I can discover the appeal of acts I never thought of as hot before. I'm grateful to Tai for being so authentic, so utterly open about her filthiest fantasies, and for trusting us to realise them for her. Even if wedgies and swirlies aren't your bag, I think Tai's total immersion and submission in this scene makes it really watchable - you can tell how into it she is, and it was wonderful to see her face light up when she talked about it in the post-scene interview!

I'd love to say that after the toilet-flushing everything got lighter and fluffier, but I'm afraid that it just escalated from there. The last two scenes of the day were, if anything, even more intense.

Although Tai had received lots of pain and domination so far, she hadn't been spanked with much other than the hand. That was about to change: our penultimate scene, lifted straight out of her sex menu, featured me as a no good, very bad therapist, and Tai as my vulnerable young client who confides her kinky fantasies to me. I shame her for having them, tell them that they're disgusting and wrong, and then take sadistic advantage of the situation and coerce her to take 'corrective punishment' from me.

It's interesting to note that even describing this scene to you now, I'm feeling a flutter of nervousness and vulnerability that you'll think I'm a terrible, terrible person for having this scene on my site. It's a fantasy that goes so strongly against the core principles of my morality - that there's nothing wrong with being kinky, that you shouldn't be ashamed about what turns you on - that I'm shy even about telling you we filmed it, even though you already know it was Tai's idea, not mine. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this being a fantasy of Tai's, either. That would be pretty ironic.

But I can tell you that I struggled to shoot this scene. I had to call cut at some point, just because I knew that my toppy dialogue sucked and I was totally failing to be the nasty, shaming abuser that Tai's fantasy required. Tai patiently fed me the script - "Tell me I'm a perverted freak, that there's something wrong with me, that no respectable or normal girl would be into stuff like this, that I deserve everything I get" - and I nodded and took some breaths, and we got back into character and tried again. I think we got there in the end.

It was pretty humbling, though. It's not often that the top is the one that has to safeword: and it renewed my admiration for Tai's strong sense of self; how aware and assured and accepting she is of her sexuality, that she can take ownership of her own shame scripts in this sort of consensual play. I hope the scene turned out well enough to do her wholeheartedness justice, despite my hesitance in the role of the kink-shaming authority figure.

I can attest that she took a pretty hard beating with some wickedly painful implements, including my much-hated stingy bathbrush, and the senior tawse. By the end of this scene Tai's bottom was ... well, crimson.


Then it was time for the final scene of the day; the caning Tai had been dreaming of since before she first shot for us.

By this point, you won't be surprised to hear that the plot involves unfair punishment and excessive severity. Tai plays her character from the bullying scene with Nimue; Nimue tattled that Tai was smoking and selling weed, and I play their overly strict caregiver who believes everything Nimue says, and punishes Tai with a hard caning. Luckily, I am 100% secure in my confidence that hard caning is something Tai loves and craves, and so it was easier for me this time to get into character and bring it to life. 


It also helped that giving hard canings is one of my favourite things to do - I love the craft of it, lining up perfectly parallel lines and judging the accuracy and power just right. Tai took it beautifully, and I'm delighted with this scene, and everything else we shot that day. I very much hope that she was satisfied with the results!

It was a pleasure and a privilege to host Tai's first shoot as a female spankee, and to assist one more trans girl in the valiant mission of queering up the spanking scene. It certainly needs it. All I can say is, those spanking sites that won't shoot trans performers are totally missing out. Tai is a treasure, and I can't wait to share her scenes with you all.

Trans girls in spanking porn

Since its inception, Dreams of Spanking has always been queer inclusive, and our performers have included transgender and non-binary folk from the very beginning (although they haven't always wanted to make a song and dance about it). My feminist politics of bodily automony and sexual freedom have always included the right for any individual to define their own gender identity, and to manifest their identity however they damn well please, whether through clothing, hormones or body modification.

In this day and age it seems bizarre to me that anyone would not be accepting of this - particularly those who make a point of their own right to express their kinky sexualities however they wish, despite the social stigma that often rejects kink as unwholesome, self-destructive or abusive. Transgender people experience much greater marginalisation than cis kinksters - particularly trans women, who inhabit a unique intersection of transphobia and misogyny which sees them as othered by many movements claiming to be radical, including some feminist and queer communities. The way I see it, us marginalised folk should stick together and support each other. BDSM and spanking has always been more body positive than vanilla porn, in some ways - it's more common to see fat performers in kinky porn, for example, and curvy bottoms in particular are fetishised in the spanking world. But in many ways, the spanking and BDSM communities are just as white-centric, sexist, ableist, ageist and transphobic as the wider culture they are embedded in. Being kinky doesn't automatically make people open-minded, unfortunately.

It seems very strange to me that Dreams of Spanking is still the only spanking site in the world that I know of to shoot with trans men and women, and to openly celebrate their transness as part of their whole personhood, if that's how the performer wants to be identified. Even among BDSM porn more generally, trans performers are a rare sight. 

Having had trans men and genderqueer performers amongst our cast members from the very beginning, it took longer than I wanted for Dreams of Spanking to shoot with our first trans woman. This wasn't intentional, but I could certainly have done more to seek people out sooner. It was listening to Courtney Trouble's keynote speech at the Feminist Porn Conference in 2014 that motivated me to up my game.

Skip ahead to 2016, where we have three out-and-proud trans women on the site - gorgeous Eliza Grey in Houseboy, and Michelle Knight and Submissive Sarah who took part in our sponsored caning project. And now, I'm here to tell you that since ATVOD forced us offline, that number has quietly gone up to four without you knowing it. Since shooting for us in May 2015 - already much more genderqueer than the male character they played in Houseboy - Tai Crimson has come out as a trans girl. And she is fucking adorable.

Adorable queer porn performer Tai Crimson

I learned about Tai's transition when I saw her in Berlin last year, and I was delighted for her. When she mentioned that she would be in London this summer and was interested in shooting again, I nearly bit her hand off. Houseboy was an incredible project, but the flipside of the ambitious cinematography was a long-winded shoot that involved a lot more getting the shots right than actual spanking. Last time we filmed together, Tai expressed her regret that she hadn't gotten more marked (in fact she asked for a behind-the-scenes caning in her end of shoot interview so she would go home with enough welts to be satisfied, and I was more than happy to oblige) and it led to some reflection for me on the fact that our normal, low-key, point-and-shoot filming style is actually a much more immersive and fulfilling kinky experience for my performers than more cinematic shooting.

After Tai worked so hard to help us produce an award-winning short film on her first ever porn shoot, I wanted her second shoot with us to be more down-to-earth: just me, her and Nimue, at my house, cramming as many hot experiences as we could into the time available. And oh my goodness, it was filthy enough to exceed all my expectations. I've got some incredibly hot previews to share with you all, but this post is already long enough. So - watch this space.

Pandora Blake and Tai Crimson playing with hot wax at Dreams of Spanking

Which spanking videos are you happiest to see again?

I've really enjoyed the last two weeks. It's been wonderful to see so many of you re-subscribing and commenting on your favourite scenes. I've been very happy to welcome familiar names and new ones - and it's hard to tell, but I have a feeling that the percentage of female members is higher this time round.

It gives me a warm glow just to see the site back up again, and I've had great fun romping around the archive, enjoying the feeling of being immersed in familiar pages - like re-reading a favourite book after a long time.

Thanks for your patience, all of you, while we settle in, wipe off the dust and start firing up all the mechanisms to get this engine running again. AJ has been working morning and night keeping on top of your payment and tech support requests, and her blogpost about how it feels to be back made me shed a little happy tear. Girl on the Net has a lot on right now - in fact she's possibly even busier than I am - but both of us have been running around behind the scenes, working hard to clear space in our schedules. Bear with us while we get back up to speed. The timing of the appeal win was as much of a surprise to us as it was to you, so we didn't have any new content ready to upload when the site re-opened. I'm working on having something ready for this weekend, but  if new updates are a bit erratic while we find our feet, you know why.

In the meantime, I know you've been enjoying the 274 spanking videos, photosets and audio stories in our archive since the site reopened - even though all our free content such as trailers and Backlash sponsored caning videos is cloud hosted, our bandwidth usage has been through the roof this month. You've shifted 10TB in a fortnight - and that usage is pretty much all logged-in members. That's a lot of video downloads!

So which spanking videos did our members make a beeline for, when the site re-opened? We asked our Twitter followers which of our scenes they'd missed the most. Here are their picks:

Dana for Senator

Every office should look like this! This film was Michael Darling's first ever porn appearance. I tried to help him out by getting spanked first, so he would know what was expected of him when his turn came, but perhaps the anticipation just made him even more nervous. Either way, Dana and Mike give classic performances in this elegant office punishment film, and he and I both end up with very red bottoms.

Dana for Senator: Dana Kane, Michael Darling and Pandora Blake. Femdom office punishment at Dreams of Spanking.

My Inner Little Girl

I have a lot of love for this film, which screened at Cinekink 2014 and was a milestone in my porn career - my first explicit masturbation scene and orgasm on camera. I play Tamora, a high-powered executive who copes with the stress of adult life by fantasising about being a little girl, spanked, scolded and helpless.

Pandora Blake fantasises about being spanked while she masturbates to orgasm at Dreams of Spanking

Houseboy

Where would a "best of" post be without Houseboy - the film that landed us not only the Cinekink 2016 Bring It! Award for up-and-coming filmmakers, but also the first prize in the Berlin Porn Film Festival Short Film Competition last year? I'm still ridiculously proud of this film, which brings storytelling, dominance and submission and spanking together in a tale of non-monogamy and jealousy in a queer, kinky household. 

This was both Tai and Eliza's debut porn appearances; at the time of shooting, Tai identified as genderqueer, and had no objection to playing a male character for this film, which I wanted to be a female gaze celebration of submissive masculine beauty. Since the shoot, however, Tai has come out as trans, and so this film now stars not one but two trans women; a demographic all too often fetishised and objectified in mainstream porn, and erased from spanking porn entirely.  

Houseboy: an award-winning tale of dominance, submission and jealousy starring Pandora Blake, Tai Crimson and Eliza Grey.

The Edwardian Governess

A lot of you are Caroline Grey fans - and who can blame you? I think I agree with Mr London - my personal favourite scenes of hers are the Edwardian Governess films, starring Caroline alongside Amelia Jane Rutherford, myself and Will Savage in the second film, Invitations. Lush period costume, spanking over split bloomers, peachy bottoms glowing cherry red, and lots of authentic (and witty) dialogue from Caroline and Amelia. She just looks 

Caroline Grey is spanked and paddled over the knee by her strict Edwardian governess at Dreams of Spanking.

Only His Hand

I was hard-pressed to pick a fifth film for this post. All the scenes Mr London mentioned are worth watching - I considered featuring The Seating Plan, in which my fiance's sister Ten Amorette spanks me before my wedding; or Little Ten, in which Ten plays my bratty girlfriend and I treat her like a little girl, and give her a good scolding and spanking. I'm also fond of Alex's POV, an innovative point of view scene in which we aimed to capture the female spankee's perspective with the camera, focussing on the connection between Alex Reynolds and her disciplinarian, Tom.

But I picked Only His Hand because it's one of the films I wrote long before the site went live; back in the early days of preparation, when I was working my arse off trying to save up to have some shoots, and my brain was overflowing with spanking video ideas. It was particularly satisfying for me to bring this fantasy to life. Hand spankings are one of my favourite things because they have so much range; there is no better way to warm up a bottom for pleasure spanking, but that equally, a hard hand spanking is just as painful as a paddle or hairbrush - if not more so. The idea of being held firmly in place by a strong, angry teacher who is determined to give me a punishment spanking I'll never forget, and show me just how hard his hand can be, still makes me shiver. Tom executed my fantasy to perfection, and this is one of the hardest hand spankings I've received on camera. (I think the only harder hand spanking on Dreams of Spanking is Over His Knee, and only because it goes on for longer; we skipped the plot and indulged in 20 minutes of pure, unadulterated over the knee spanking.) I love the storyline for Over His Hand - the neat way that the punishment fits the crime, and the absolute helplessness of my character during her well-earned punishment. If you want to see me genuinely squirm and struggle over the knee during a hand spanking that pushed my limits, you should watch this.

Pandora Blake takes a hard, fast, severe hand spanking over the knee at Dreams of Spanking.

Those weren't the only scenes named on Twitter - for instance, in a protected tweet Kodders mentioned Adornment, Charley Says and Bridezilla, all strong contenders for a Dreams of Spanking "best of". What scenes were you happiest to see back after our ten months away?

One thing is clear - the site being back up is bringing you as much pleasure as it is me, and I couldn't be happier to see you enjoying it.

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