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Angry or calm - what's the best kind of spanking?

I think the spankings I've had generally fall into one of two categories: the “I'm so angry with you right now” spanking and the “this is for your own good.”

The “angry” spankings usually happen when I've deliberately been bratty to try and get a harder beating, whereas the others have a kind of calm, sexy intensity that makes me feel as if I'll get what's coming to me no matter how I behave.

Which do I prefer? I'm not sure I can really decide, especially since I've just watched this week's amazing scene with Christy Cutie and Paul Kennedy, in which the beating definitely falls into the 'calm and collected' category.

Naughty niece Christy Cutie spanked by uncle Paul Kennedy at Dreams of Spanking

Uncle Paul takes his naughty niece Christy in hand when she accidentally messes up his work. He's warned her that he'll be busy while she's staying with him over the summer, but ignoring his advice to stay out of his way, she decides to 'helpfully' go into his office and tidy his desk. This is Dreams of Spanking so – of course – some seriously hot punishment is in order.

He instructs her to bend over the desk and deals out a firm hand spanking over her tight jeans. And here is where I melt a little bit (OK, a lot) with desire.

Paul has a fantastically calm authority. As 'Uncle Paul', he adopts a kind of weary 'why do you make me do this?' attitude that makes me tingle in just the right way.

He's not angry – he's disappointed.

Naughty niece Christy Cutie spanked by uncle Paul Kennedy at Dreams of Spanking

If you've seen Christy on Dreams of Spanking before (and if you haven't then you should check out Her Married Sister) you'll know that she's utterly beautiful, as well as a brilliant character actress. Her happy-go-lucky naughty niece character works so beautifully against Paul's 'disappointed uncle' and as she squeals with each stinging smack, you can tell she's mainly upset that she's let him down.

Of course, when he asks her to pull down her jeans and knickers for a strapping on the bare bottom, she pouts and trembles just as any naughty niece would, when she knows there's no getting out of it.

Naughty niece Christy Cutie spanked by uncle Paul Kennedy at Dreams of Spanking Naughty niece Christy Cutie spanked by uncle Paul Kennedy at Dreams of Spanking

I think scenes like this can work both ways. In my fantasies, when I'm the one being strapped over a desk because of some minor misdemeanour, I've often found myself torn between a 'calm' or an 'angry' beating.

Sometimes I picture the guy who is beating me as someone so incensed that he can't prevent himself from lashing out with far more than I really deserve. At other times he's calm, measured, and practically sighing with disappointment that I've let him down again. Both are amazing, but which is your favourite?

I'd recommend you watch Naughty Niece Christy first – when you see Paul berating Christy for requiring punishment and therefore taking up his valuable time, you'll see what I mean about the appeal of a calm, collected disciplinarian.


How about another category

How about The Prefects Revenge which is one of my favorite scenes. Pandora is neither calm nor angry in that scene, in fact she is gleeful at the power she has over her victim.

Good point! Playful, gleeful sadism is one of my favourite modes as a top. I found it particularly easy when I was just starting to learn how to top - and it was often appropriate for "bullying peer" roles which are less scary to a newbie top than playing strict, articulate authority figures.

I'm not sure I've ever really done "angry" as a top - calm, firm-but-fair is at one end of my dominance spectrum, but I think the other end is sexyevil rather than shoutyangry. I'm not sure I've ever played a topping role where I had to seem violent. I suspect this is a learned socialisation thing - male and female villians are both often unpredictable, but in women it's more usually stereotyped as purring sultry capriciousness, whereas men are more likely to get the violent thuggish non-verbal roles.

Maybe I should have a go at playing a truly violent, angry top character sometime - perhaps a fierce mummy. I think it would be an interesting challenge!

Although legitimately terrified by angry people in the real world, I find that anger in scenes can be extremely hot. It's edge play for me, and given my background and political views it feels particularly taboo in an often guilty way, but I love scenes where the Top is angry, mean and bordering on violent. Part of it is delighting in darkness, part of it is the unpredictability of a character in this space giving energy and drama to the scene and part of it is that I really like scenes that depart from the real world. When I know that the person I'm playing with is actually nice, calm, considerate et cetera, seeing this person behave in a way which is vastly different than usually makes the scene feel more fantastical, like I'm truly outside of my regular life.

Anyway, I think the idea of you (Pandora) playing this character is intensely arousing. I'm going to file that away for future reference!

For me it all depends on context. Within a negotiated discipline relationship, in "real" punishment situations, I don't think there's any place for anger. Personally, if I'm being punished by a top who insists they have moral authority despite the fact they are displaying signs of anger or temper, they will lose me completely. I will probably feel defensive, frustrated and stubborn - and even if I calm down post-spanking, I will effectively have been bullied into it - no fun at all in real life. (If I feel sufficiently threatened I will disengage completely and stop giving a damn what you think, at which point the relationship is basically over.)

But quiet disappointment from someone who believes in me and nurtures me and wants me to make me proud of them... that's worked for me very very well. If I admire you enough to want to please you, if I feel guilty for letting you down, or if you're trying to convince me of your point of view - loving, kindly dominance is the way to make me feel submission, every time. Backed up by spanking hard enough to resolve things satisfactorily, of course!

Fantasy on the other hand is a different matter entirely... and I think that's what you're discussing here. In fantasy, angry spanking finds its place. The idea of someone being disproportionately severe for a minor crime - perhaps because they have repressed issues, because they're a power-hungry sadist or simply because they consider me to be less than human - disgusting in reality, super-hot in the world inside my head. Biting, scathing sarcasm wins particular knicker-dampening points over screaming and yelling. Although the idea of someone who is usually calm losing their temper and raising their voice is also appropriately, sexily terrifying...

I guess this distinction might be nonsensical to people who don't get that fantasy and reality are so separate, but I know you'll get it. I'm starting to wonder if the fantasies that turn us on most are in fact often the opposite of what we'd want in real life...

I think you make some really interesting points here. Yes indeed to anger being out in real life situations!

But in the world of fantasy and particularly in spanking films, anger is a delicate matter to handle I think. Personally, to make it work I think it has to be quite finely controlled. There are plenty of examples of poorly made spanking films where the top is just ranting and raving and probably swearing and shouting. And it just kills the mood of the film - no finesse and often soundly just coarse.

But a modicum of anger tinged with disappointment can come across really well and can translate into excellent strictness of attitude in the actual spanking itself. (Your point perhaps about someone usually calm becoming a bit more heated for a while. The film from a while back called 'Just his hand' (I think) is a good example for me. Thomas is clearly angry at your character's behaviour and expresses it. But it's well measured and is echoed well in the relative intensity of the punishment meted out a little later on. And absolutely spot on when you say 'biting, scathing sarcasm' beating 'screaming and yelling'. Yes, every time!

I can quite imagine how a number of the previous films could have had the top character expressing a little more anger and the scenes would probably have still worked very well. The Edwardian Governess perhaps? (This is in no way saying that that film wasn't delightful as it stands by the way!)

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