I'm both nervous and excited to share our latest film, which shows what I fantasise about as I bring myself to my first ever orgasm on video! My Inner Little Girl dips between fantasy and reality, combining an erotic solo masturbation scene with an F/F age play spanking fantasy, complete with little white socks, kicking, crying and the hairbrush.
This 17 minute film is accompanied by 60 high definition screengrabs, and also Tammy's Shame, a new photo gallery which illustrates Tamora's fantasy.
Tamora is a high-powered businesswoman. She loves her work, but it's a lot of responsibility. Back home after a long day, she unwinds by putting on school uniform, and reconnecting with her inner little girl.
In her fantasies, Tammy is helpless, told what to wear, what to do, and spanked if she disobeys. The thought of being taken over the knee and spanked soundly on her bare bottom until she kicks and cries just turns her on so much. It's the perfect escape from the stress of grown up life - and a sure way to a very real, very pleasurable orgasm.
And along with our photogallery Ms Howard's Little Girl, here's a bit more of a peek into the spanking of Tamora's dreams...
Tammy's aunt is so strict. She won't even let her wear skirts inside the house. Ms Howard believes that having her knickers on display will teach Tammy some humility. Plus, it means she can't leave the house without asking permission - unless she wants to walk out of the door in her underwear!
When Ms Howard sets her a long list of rules to memorise, Tammy quickly gets bored. She wanders over to the window and sees some boys outside. She can't go out and talk to them, but she can give them a show. She waves to them, unbuttons her school blouse and quickly has their attention. With their encouragement she even pulls her bra aside to reveal her budding breasts.
Ms Howard picks just that moment to come back to see how Tammy is getting on with the rules. She is horrified to discover her niece exposing herself at the window to all and sundry. She grabs Tammy's ear and pulls out a straight backed chair. Clearly the spankings Tammy has already received have not had enough of an effect. This time, it's going to be the hairbrush, and it's going to be hard.
Although I've already published some hardcore photographs on this site, I've never done anything this sexually explicit on video before. Throughout my career, I've always intended to save my hardcore "virginity" for Dreams of Spanking, and have never taken things beyond softcore eroticism when modelling for other people's websites.
I've been wanting to make a film like this for years. As soon as I came up with the name "Dreams of Spanking" I knew I wanted to make films about sex and masturbation showing the fantasies of the people involved... which in my case of course is almost always spanking!
I very much hope to create more explicit films in the future - specifically, I'd love to shoot some real world kinky sex videos with my real life lovers, starting with my longterm partners Tom and D. But it felt right that my first orgasm on camera should be a solo scene, directed and controlled entirely by myself. Creating this film, for me, was about empowerment, ownership and self-determination. I wrote the storyboard a long time ago, and although Tamora is a fictional character, the story expresses something true about myself. I'm glad I was able to edit this film myself to make it look exactly as I'd envisioned - even if watching my own face and chest flush as I approached orgasm was an incredibly surreal experience!
Besides, believe it or not, I was shy about shooting this film, and I felt pretty shy about releasing it, too. On the day of the shoot I wanted to feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible, and doing it solo meant I wasn't performing for anyone other than the camera, which my good friend Nimue was operating. Nimue and I have little to hide from each other these days, and of course she is no stranger to sex and masturbation on camera - in fact, I had operated the camera for a masturbation scene for her site only the day before. So asking her to return the favour felt balanced, reciprocal, and extremely safe.
Performing in porn can be a weirdly vulnerable experience at times, leaving you feeling very exposed. I hope you enjoy this film; it's very personal for me. To my relief, My Inner Little Girl has only provoked positive feedback so far, and no-one has been unkind or told me I look ridiculous.
Please do let me know if you'd like to see more films like this on Dreams of Spanking. Now that the first one is up, I think I'd really enjoy making more.